tucker carlson

Serious question, Wonkvilleins, because the conservative ladeez of “Politichicks” have put together a Conservative Men Swinging Dicks contest that for real includes Rush Limbaugh, Jonah Goldberg, Joseph Farah and Neil Cavuto, COME ON. (To be fair, those bloated piles of pig anus feature in subcategories like “New Media” and “Rush Limbaugh” and did not final.) […]

Oh, Daily Caller! You wanted so badly to be “down,” and you accidentally called RNC chair Reince Priebus a nigger. But in a cool conservative anti-PC hipstery way we guess? First they said Reince was rapping, and was HNIC (that’s “head negro type person in charge”), and then they deleted it real quick-like. So surely […]

Did you read our story last week about a program to diversify Phoenix’s lifeguards at their majority-minority swimming pools? And did you worry that Jim Hoft and Judicial Watch, in responding to this program, were not being balls-out racist enough? Well good news, because Tucker Carlson is here to recalibrate the balance back toward HOLY […]

Are you a huge sports fan? Of course not. You are reading Wonkette, which means that you spent gym class defending yourself from a cloud of dodgeballs being thrown in your direction with copies of Mad Magazine and A People’s History to the United States. Well, in between seasons in professional sports, there is this […]

Oh, Trayvon Martin, we are so sorry you are dead. You were just a few months younger than our own terrible son, who is terrible. We understand from others that this is not “rare.” And that he may grow out of it by the time he’s 25, or 30. You will not be 25 or […]

Jim Treacher, who periodically writes incredibly stupid shit at the Daily Caller Media Foundation Trademark, is now demanding the real birth certificate for Hillary Clinton’s concussion or something, and DEMANDS RESPECT FOR HIS CRUSADE. A few weeks ago, when Hillary’s people said she wouldn’t be testifying about Benghazi because she’d fallen down and hit her […]

There are not enough pixels in the universe to reproduce every stupid watermelon email sent out by a GOP official, or even every racisty thing spewed by NRO. So we shall have to limit our examination of the Year In Racial Transcendence to just those sage comments espoused by the not at all spittle-flecked ranters […]

New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez, repeat after us: Pay your hookers. Pay your hookers. PAY YOUR GODDAMN HOOKERS. Maybe you thought $100 was enough for working gals in the Dominican Republic. If that is so, you should have told them that UP FRONT instead of agreeing to $500 and then only forking over a lousy […]

Sorry, union thugs of the SEIU, but Tucker Carlson’s Daily Caller has got your number! And that is that you forced people who worked for you as union organizers to perform work towards attaining your stated political goals, by canvassing and stuff. Is that even legal??? Can we get James O’Keefe’s Magickal Camera to go […]

WHAT THE FUCK, Daily Caller? Why are you going around explaining that you were named after the time Dick Cheney “shot that guy in the face”? [Tucker] Carlson insisted it was vital this new media outlet be given a name that resembled a traditional news outlet. [...] But as Patel recounted, “it’s virtually impossible to […]

There has been, perhaps, no transgression in American debate history worse than when, in the middle of Tuesday’s townhall debate, Candy Crowley swung from the rafters and literally probably shot Mitt Romney in the back of the head by correcting him, according to Tucker Carlson.

What do Reverend Jeremiah Wright, “controversial leftist priest” Father Michael Pfleger, and “the brother of domestic terrorist Bill Ayers” have in common? Well, a certain young Socialist ACORN once tried to get Chicago’s mayor to meet with them, 25 years ago, so they could ask him (the mayor) to endorse a community organizing project, on […]

We are sorry to all the vile lefties who visit this site, but your precious Barack Obama is toast, man. He’s done. Having clearly become tired of waiting for the Romney Camp to do a GAME CHANGE its own inept self, Matt Drudge and Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity took it upon themselves to release […]

There is a crisis, in Charlotte, that outweighs all other crises in America — including “the gaffes” — right now: the DNC assigned reporters to a bunch of shitty motels and they’re unhappy. And how does the Democratic platform address this? What about the Republican platform? Not a mention, proving once and for all that […]

OH NOEZ Barack H. Christ has not killed Osama Bin Laden dead often enough for the pleasant fellows of the Daily Caller, as their screaming headlines insist he let OBL go three times (before killing him). Let us hear their evidence, which is contradicted by every other instance of deep-dive reporting on the subject, and […]