Yesterday while filling in for c-list teevee host Tucker Carlson on the MSNBC program Tucker, David Shuster asked the following question: “Doesn’t it seem as if Chelsea is sort of being pimped out in some weird sort of way?” He was referencing the way in which Chelsea has been calling various superdelegates asking for their support. As if the circumstances in any way matter, the answer to the question is yes. Or, more emphatically, YES! Lord knows what that Chelsea is offering these superdelegates. Either way, Shuster will apologize tonight after the Clinton people made some kinda fuss. Whores, all of them. [The Trail]

This week, John Paul Stevens, Jeri Thompson, Chris Wallace and Tucker Carlson were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump. MORE »

Liz Glover has been terrorizing the douchebags in New Hampshire with her pink-and-green Barbie polaroid camera. Why that’s her with famous Respected Intellectual Conservative Bill Kristol! Can you believe he wouldn’t even take a question? [Sigh], there goes another role model. More famous assholes after the jump. MORE »

Who would have guessed that Ron Paul is running the kind of campaign where he would avoid being photographed with a supporter who also happened to be a prostitute. This is what I take away from Tucker Carlson’s surprisingly thoughtful New Republic piece on the Good Doctor. Oh, that and Ron Paul must actually be changing the world because I read something Tucker Carlson wrote and not only did I not want to remove my own eyeballs with something blunt, I almost even enjoyed it. MORE »

There have been recent rumors about MSNBC canceling Tucker Carlson’s show. And guess what? Bowtied Republicans are so pissed off that they are organizing a campaign to save the job of their chest-flashing, crazy dancing, totally not gay preppy pundit. The group, Save Tucker, even has a cute little mission statement. MORE »

The lovely, adorable and talented Liz Glover brings us to the red carpet for last night’s Meet The Press 60th Anniversary party, where she asked very important people what they were wearing. Tom Delay plays coy, John Kerry chats about paper trails, Bob Dole works the ladies, Tucker Carlson denies picking up gay men and Tiki Barber talks dog fighting. Oh yes, it’s all very Fellini. MORE »

MSNBC has stalled in negotiations to give Rosie O’Donnell a primetime show on their teevees. Says Rosie on her modernist poetry website, “well what can u do/2day there is no deal/poof/my career as a pundit is over/ b4 it began.” good thing 4 amerkan public/ no more of her/ heinous/ self on national television/ networks. [NYT]

The New York Times reported today that MSNBC is in talks to give a primetime show to Rosie O’Donnell, whose previous credits include a 9-month stint on ABC’s The View, where she kept having vagina fits with co-host Elizabeth Hasselbeck, an ardent and enthusiastic warmonger. Also, Tucker Carlson might get dumped for shitty ratings. MORE »

Imus is back, and what better way to celebrate than with this most truthy music video “Nappy Headed Hos” by white boy rap duo Accident of Birth. The lyrics strafe the political landscape: James Carville! Maureen Dowd! Snakes in the head! Tim Russert! Rush Limbaugh! Frank Rich! Tucker Carlson! And then, as if it could get any better, they toss in Humboldt County weed, Devo, John Lennon, Snoop Dogg, the Grateful Dead and Maker’s Mark!!? WTF? Quick, somebody sign these guys! MORE »

Look what you’re missing on the Tucker Carlson Show! Not much, to be sure, but we need to keep up with the Conservative Media Personalities to see what they know about Cheney’s new “moon base” which is being installed by Halliburton to goad the Space Monsters into a war so we can take all the natural resources from the gas giant Bespin. The ex-Canadian assistant space police guy under Pierre Trudeau is saying this, so it’s probably pretty much true. Also, Tucker supports bombing innocent E.T. babies with depleted plutonium, and he has patriotically assaulted many older gay aliens in the Mos Eisley cantina.

Bush Plans Defence Stance Against Aliens [YouTube]

Did you hear? It is my last day as your Wonkette editor! On Monday, I’ll sit down at the same goddamn computer and log into the same goddamn screwy blogging engine to continue to write for the same goddamn English billionaire Tory, but it will be for a site called “Gawker.com” instead. So to celebrate, I’m just gonna tell two brief stories of nutty DC types who helped make this gig miserable, in a “funny” way. Join me in saluting Karen Feld and Tucker Carlson!

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