tucker carlson
‘Pobody’s Nerfect,’ Says Daily Caller About Whoopsy-Daisy N-Word Tweet
Oh, Daily Caller! You wanted so badly to be “down,” and you accidentally called RNC chair Reince Priebus a nigger. But in a cool conservative anti-PC hipstery way we guess? First they said Reince was rapping, and was HNIC (that’s “head negro type person in charge”), and then they deleted it real quick-like. So surely [...]
Tucker Carlson Weighs In On Black Lifeguards (Hint: Hiring Black Lifeguards Is The Same As Jim Crow)
Did you read our story last week about a program to diversify Phoenix’s lifeguards at their majority-minority swimming pools? And did you worry that Jim Hoft and Judicial Watch, in responding to this program, were not being balls-out racist enough? Well good news, because Tucker Carlson is here to recalibrate the balance back toward HOLY [...]
Hey When Did That Jerk Start Working There? A Guide To 2013’s Least Important Media Hirings
Are you a huge sports fan? Of course not. You are reading Wonkette, which means that you spent gym class defending yourself from a cloud of dodgeballs being thrown in your direction with copies of Mad Magazine and A People’s History to the United States. Well, in between seasons in professional sports, there is this [...]
Happy Eighteenth Birthday, Trayvon Martin, Racism Is Over
Oh, Trayvon Martin, we are so sorry you are dead. You were just a few months younger than our own terrible son, who is terrible. We understand from others that this is not “rare.” And that he may grow out of it by the time he’s 25, or 30. You will not be 25 or [...]
Daily Caller Writer Was Just Asking Responsible Questions About Hillary Clinton Faking It
Jim Treacher, who periodically writes incredibly stupid shit at the Daily Caller Media Foundation Trademark, is now demanding the real birth certificate for Hillary Clinton’s concussion or something, and DEMANDS RESPECT FOR HIS CRUSADE. A few weeks ago, when Hillary’s people said she wouldn’t be testifying about Benghazi because she’d fallen down and hit her [...]
Tucker Carlson’s Post-Racial Year
There are not enough pixels in the universe to reproduce every stupid watermelon email sent out by a GOP official, or even every racisty thing spewed by NRO. So we shall have to limit our examination of the Year In Racial Transcendence to just those sage comments espoused by the not at all spittle-flecked ranters [...]
NJ Sen. Bob Menendez Proves Old Truism: Dude, Pay Your Hookers
New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez, repeat after us: Pay your hookers. Pay your hookers. PAY YOUR GODDAMN HOOKERS. Maybe you thought $100 was enough for working gals in the Dominican Republic. If that is so, you should have told them that UP FRONT instead of agreeing to $500 and then only forking over a lousy [...]
Daily Caller Shocker: Guy Who Worked For Union Was ‘Required’ To Do Union Stuff
Sorry, union thugs of the SEIU, but Tucker Carlson’s Daily Caller has got your number! And that is that you forced people who worked for you as union organizers to perform work towards attaining your stated political goals, by canvassing and stuff. Is that even legal??? Can we get James O’Keefe’s Magickal Camera to go [...]
What Poo Is Dribbling From Tucker Carlson’s Mouth Today?
What do Reverend Jeremiah Wright, “controversial leftist priest” Father Michael Pfleger, and “the brother of domestic terrorist Bill Ayers” have in common? Well, a certain young Socialist ACORN once tried to get Chicago’s mayor to meet with them, 25 years ago, so they could ask him (the mayor) to endorse a community organizing project, on [...]
Terrified DNC Reporters Trapped Inside Filthy Butthole Murder Motels, Nation Laughs
There is a crisis, in Charlotte, that outweighs all other crises in America — including “the gaffes” — right now: the DNC assigned reporters to a bunch of shitty motels and they’re unhappy. And how does the Democratic platform address this? What about the Republican platform? Not a mention, proving once and for all that [...]
At The Movies With Donald Trump: The Greatest, Classiest Review Of Dark Knight Rises
Gelatinous swamp-thing Donald Trump has taken to his Youtube again, and the result is a veritable Cindy Adams column of nonsequiters from the new Batman movie (have you heard? There is a new Batman movie) to his nuanced take on Anthony Wiener’s “sexual perversions” (“he was never good before and he really turned out not [...]
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