Tag Archives: trucks

  eastbound and down

Dozens Of Truckers Show Up To Completely Shut Down DC; Constitution Likely To Survive Anyway

In a development that took nobody by surprise, the Great Big Trucker Siege of Washington DC has drawn several thousand fewer participants than the several thousand truckers that the organizers had hoped would show up and block traffic on the Beltway all weekend, for Freedom. Fox News reports that “dozens, not thousands,” of tractor-trailer rigs have arrived for the “Truckers Ride for the Constitution” protest that was supposed to have saved America from corruption, members of Congress who have violated their oaths, high fuel prices, and the Antichrist in the White House. Read more on Dozens Of Truckers Show Up To Completely Shut Down DC; Constitution Likely To Survive Anyway…
  what is this bababooey.com anyway?

Deleted Comments Of The Day: President Jesse Ventura Meets Poe’s Law

We know you guys love some good old-fashioned derp in these columns, and we aim to please. But frankly, we have to confess that we can’t quite tell if this item from the comment queue is an actual example of Jesse Ventura-lovin’ wingnuttery, or a clever parody of same. “Shweatypalms” writes, in reply to our recent story about a possible (yeah sure) run for president by the former wrassler, Minnesota governor, and X-Files guest star, with Howard Stern for Veep: Some of these comments can’t be real. Seems like a bunch paid internet trolls. Ventura/Stern would be the best thing in that shit hole called the white house in, idk, 40 fucking years? Poe’s Law strikes again! Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: President Jesse Ventura Meets Poe’s Law…
  wonkette does not allow comments

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Stop Betraying Ur Native Soil!

Programming Note: We hear that there’s a Harvard-educated common man talking in front of the Senate in a not-quite filibuster right now, and we promise we’ll have a post about it tomorrow unless you’re lucky and a rogue asteroid ends life on Earth overnight. Longtime Wonkaroos will be astonished to learn that Some People Just Can’t Let Things Go. Those people being, of course, fans of the League of the South, who are still upset that Yr Wonkette is so darn mean to Everyone in the South who is them. We finally posted an accurate photo of one of their dumb marches, but some of them are still not happy, viz “coyote 111,” who had to let us know that despite the presence of only seven people in the photo, we done goofed nonetheless: Well as one of the men in the picture its alot more fun being a doer then a viewer! as y’all sit there and show much hate for the southland i will say a few things. frist there were over 50 folks there and yes women as well. two city council folks came and one was the frist black women she said thanks for standing up for the white and black southerns when the mayor has sold his people out to cheep labor. As a small business owner i can tell y’all how new age diversity only makes problems. We have no idea what “new age diversity” is supposed to be; perhaps it has something to do with white and black southerns joining together to protect the land they love from crystal-waving shamans who want to hang dreamcatchers in the front of the bus. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: Stop Betraying Ur Native Soil!…
  today in today

None Of These Democrats Actually Drive Trucks (Except Maybe The Nice Lesbian Couple)

Today is the day with the best likelihood of us posting your nonsense. Like this ad full of total actors claiming they are Democrats who drive trucks! As if! That black lady does not drive a truck! That old biddy does not drive a truck! BUT. Read more on None Of These Democrats Actually Drive Trucks (Except Maybe The Nice Lesbian Couple)…
  road prayer warriors

Pickup Truck Warns of Impending ‘Muslim Attack’

WHY WON’T AMERICA LISTEN TO THE PICKUP TRUCKS? Our nation’s pickup trucks are always alerting citizens to new threats, but nobody seems to listen, even though we do our part to bring them to the people. Things are getting so bad that it’s no longer enough to post messages on your truck; you now have to attach giant signs to let people know about the apocalypse that will be precipitated by Muslims overthrowing their dictators. It may be confusing that the same pickup trucks that were once proclaiming terrorists hate freedom are now afraid that “terrorists” want freedom, but, uh… hey, look at that Simba stuffed animal sitting up there. That’s pretty cool. Read more on Pickup Truck Warns of Impending ‘Muslim Attack’…
  funny pictures

Truck Has ‘OBAMA’ Acronym; Real America Discovers Use For Palin Book

Hey look, this pickup truck has figured out what the letters in “Obama” mean: “One Big Ass Mistake America.” Except it seems to be missing a comma. (Probably stoled by socialism.) What exactly is this truck saying? “One Big Ass, Mistake America”? Saucy and unpatriotic! “One Big Ass Mistake, America”? That seems more likely, but it would still need a hyphen to make sense. Does this truck mean “One Big-Ass Mistake, America”? Or “One Big Ass-Mistake, America”? If it is the latter, this truck is surely mistaken, because America has never made a mistake with its ass. This will surely remain an internal mystery, to be debated for centuries in the future by truck-hieroglyphic experts in the field of truck archaeology. Also from our funny-picture dropbox: a certified Real America use has been found for Sarah Palin’s dumb new book. Read more on Truck Has ‘OBAMA’ Acronym; Real America Discovers Use For Palin Book…
  in his pants

Scott Brown’s Truck Found Where It Logically Should Be!

Look, a local human was walking by the Russell office building parking lot just yesterday and OH SHIT IT’S SCOTT BROWN’S TRUCK, where he banged Simon Cowell and won the presidency of Massachusetts by beating J. F. Kennedy 100-0 in the snow. He still drives this truck to his new job! Five more authenticity points to this naked monster. Do we still have to wait until 2012 to make him American president? [Second Rain] Read more on Scott Brown’s Truck Found Where It Logically Should Be!…
 

Florida Lawmakers Take Brave Stand Against Fake Testicles

With hot-button issues like immigration, the environment, and the failing real estate market crowding the “national conversation” these days, it’s nice to see a few ballsy Floridians with the cojones to take on important issues like fake testicles, and how some tasteless individuals like to dangle them from trucks. The brave Florida state Senate passed an amendment to a transportation bill that would levy a $60 fine against anyone with TruckNutz or generic-made fake testicles dangling from their rear bumpers. Read more on Florida Lawmakers Take Brave Stand Against Fake Testicles…
 

If Trucks Ran On Puppies, Texas Would Drive Them Still

It was announced today in an exciting ceremony that Texas is now far and away the country’s foremost producer of carbon emissions, emitting more than the states ranked two (California) and three (Pennsylvania) combined. And the plan the state has developed to deal with its massive output of pollution into the atmosphere is this: fuck you. Read more on If Trucks Ran On Puppies, Texas Would Drive Them Still…
 

Fred Thompson Shilling for Gas Money

IN CASE YOU HAVEN’T HEARD, Fred Thompson won himself one dem Senate chairs back roundabout ’94 by drivin’ round Tennessee-like in a red pickup truck, meetin’ folks and such. Well now he done need gas money, ‘cordin to his Internets. Tadpoles, striped fish and bumblebee likenesses. [Fred08.com] Read more on Fred Thompson Shilling for Gas Money…
 

The hijacked tanker truck has been found, abandoned, in southwest D.C. What will the crazy dude in the blue jumpsuit do next? [WTOP] Read more on …
 

9/10 NEVER FORGET: World War III Has Apparently Started, In Mexico, And As Usual It’s About Oil

Hey Mexico, WTF? Today is supposed to be the magical day of Expecto Petraeus! And tomorrow’s the big 9/11 celebration, okay? What is with you people having some kind of Star Wars-esque rebellion attacking the gas pipelines and crazy semi-trucks full of dynamite blowing up on the highways and killing 34 people? Read more on 9/10 NEVER FORGET: World War III Has Apparently Started, In Mexico, And As Usual It’s About Oil…