Tag Archives: trucknutz

  None of these are actually legal :(

Here Are 9 More Things For Steve King To Gay-Marry After He Divorces His Lawnmower

Be honest, you're looking at his piece of equipment. His LAWNMOWING equipment.
Rep. Steve King is a glorious fucking numbskull, and he’s willing to prove it on the daily, if that’s what it takes. Having failed to stop the Supreme Court from throat-cramming America with marriage of the EW GAY kind, he must continue to warn America what dark days lie ahead, now that two men or two women can become so gay for one another that they decide to file taxes jointly, ’til death do they part. And what do those dark days look like? Matt Taibbi reported that King, introducing Mike Huckabee in Iowa Thursday, explained that marriage equality means “you can marry my lawnmower.” OH REALLY? Read more on Here Are 9 More Things For Steve King To Gay-Marry After He Divorces His Lawnmower…
  It's like he was born with a soul or something

Credit Card CEO Doesn’t Want Employees To Starve, Will Be Kicked Out Of Capitalism Now

Dan Price can, um,
Heartwarming stories involving big financial services CEOs? They exist, apparently! Meet Dan Price, the CEO of Gravity Payments, a credit card processing company based in Seattle. According to the New York Times, Price had a novel idea, after hearing years and years of stories about how people, even those making $40K per year — which many would consider pretty decent — could have their lives thrown into financial chaos by simple things like medical bills or an asshole landlords raising the rent. Read more on Credit Card CEO Doesn’t Want Employees To Starve, Will Be Kicked Out Of Capitalism Now…
  Gonna preach a sermon at you now

Memphis Mother Of The Year Beats Own Child For Being Too Gay

It is time for a dispatch from your Wonkette’s Memphis Outpost, because we have a new hometown Best Mom Ever to tell you about. It seems that Jacqueline Alexander was quite unhappy with how “feminine” and “gay” her son is, so she decided to assault him: Read more on Memphis Mother Of The Year Beats Own Child For Being Too Gay…
  dick moves

Muslim Group Receives a Disturbing Letter About Allen West’s Nuts

Allen West is no friend to Muslims, and he will not apologize for this. He has spent far too many hours researching listening to strange lectures about the great Muslim conspiracy against America to reflect or change his mind at this point. Even so, the Council on American-Islamic Relations rolled its eyes recently and thought, “Eh, we’ll give it a shot.” The CAIR then sent a letter to Allen West, asking him to maybe consider not running around with Islamophobic wackjobs, blabbering about Sharia and the Muslim Brotherhood and what not. And then Allen West received the letter, probably had a laugh with an intern who made a joke about nuts while crafting their response, prompting Allen West to say, “HA HA THAT IS FUNNY, put that in the letter!” Read more on Muslim Group Receives a Disturbing Letter About Allen West’s Nuts…
  the death of fun

South Carolina Launches All-Out Assault on Truck Nutz

OH COME ON, as though somehow there are people out there who don’t love Truck Nutz? Judging by the number of people who sent us this tip, absolutely NO ONE in all of space/time except a humorless douchebag police officer who issued a $445 ticket to a 65-year-old woman for putting giant red balls on her truck, along with some prosecutor who ran out of black people to throw in prison and will now make this lady stand trial for being a public fan of novelty testicles. We might as well be living under Stalin. Read more on South Carolina Launches All-Out Assault on Truck Nutz…
  Keep on truckin'

Meet Joel Demos, Minnesota’s Artisan Monster Truck-Puller

Republican Congressional candidate Joel Demos is a father, a fixer-upper owner, a working man — you know, just a Regular Guy from MicheleBachmannsota who does Regular Guy Things, like…pull huge-ass monster trucks toward pretend finish lines to meet potential supporters and make friends. Errr, maybe he should try using a gas product to move that thing? To make a statement about being “efficient”? Read more on Meet Joel Demos, Minnesota’s Artisan Monster Truck-Puller…
  miles and miles of truck nutz

Texan Lady Sad About Those Vulgar Truck Nutz Dangling From the Bumper of Every Texan Vehicle

Here’s an Ironic Dilemma of Our Times: The only people truly offended by the dumb novelty item called “Truck Nutz” live in the only places where Truck Nutz are commonplace. Conservative church ladies simply don’t care for the plastic replicas of giant testicles swinging from all those pickup truck bumpers. Aren’t white people supposed to have morals? Read more on Texan Lady Sad About Those Vulgar Truck Nutz Dangling From the Bumper of Every Texan Vehicle…
  napoleon complexes

World’s Tiniest TruckNutz Seen In Downtown DC

Here is some bad-ass Jeep-looking thingy with a wee, left-of-center set of blue balls. Avid local Nutz-watcher Brian S. saw this spectacle this morning on K Street, and he is still weeping, but at least we have proof that these elusive ornaments have actually made it this far north (for the summer, presumably). Read more on World’s Tiniest TruckNutz Seen In Downtown DC…
 

Florida Lawmakers Take Brave Stand Against Fake Testicles

With hot-button issues like immigration, the environment, and the failing real estate market crowding the “national conversation” these days, it’s nice to see a few ballsy Floridians with the cojones to take on important issues like fake testicles, and how some tasteless individuals like to dangle them from trucks. The brave Florida state Senate passed an amendment to a transportation bill that would levy a $60 fine against anyone with TruckNutz or generic-made fake testicles dangling from their rear bumpers. Read more on Florida Lawmakers Take Brave Stand Against Fake Testicles…