Now that the House is debating the Republican health care alternative, the sweeping “BonerCare” of ancient lore, it’s a good opportunity to share this amazing (and ominous — mostly ominous!) photograph from commenter “mollymcguire,” who actually lives in the Northern Marianas, as a sex slave who is currently getting railed by Tom DeLay or whatever in the back of this Jeep with the Truck Nutz. After BonerCare passes both the House and Senate 535-0 — as expected within the next few minutes — the streets of Saipan shall be rife with Truck Nutz.

Congratulations to veteran commenter “loquaciousmusic,” a part of whose sexy comment on some stupid post from 2008 was featured on last night’s The Daily Show in a segment demonstrating how fun it can be to make gay jokes about Lindsey Graham on the Internet. But oh, what is that credit in the upper-left corner? “CROOKS AND LIARS,” the pay-pornography site? Jon Stewart, you sack of devils! First the uncredited Truck Nutz jokes every other night — we literally own that company — and now this! Funny show, though. [Jezebel]

Whoa, the news scoops keep coming from City Paper about the horrific plans for the Real World gloom factory on 20th St. NW: The contractors have been instructed to install frightening “Love Sacks” — five of them, in a testicle-shaped “bay window,” so that neighbors and passers-by will have to watch the eight (?) cast members in constant acts of sodomy whilst perched upon said Love Sacks. MORE »

Wonkette operative “Ali” sends this stunning camera-phone image of the biggest, baddest pair (trio?) of Truck Nutz in American History, attached to a golden fire chariot you need a step ladder just to see inside. This car, obviously, belongs to Rahm Emanuel.

Who’s classy now? Florida, again, as always! Here’s the new “vanity plate,” featuring America’s favorite (?) Christian star, Dead Jesus Hanging Off a License Plate With an Orange Behind His Head. This is gonna look sweet with a brass pair of Truck Nutz swingin’ down below. [The Awl]

We were listening to our pal Doug Arellanes deejaying in the early hours of Saturday, from Radio 1 in Prague, and then somehow we figured he should file a dispatch regarding What’s His Name, the Muslim president, and his visit to the Czech Republic to talk to some out-of-work politicians about ending nuclear bombs or something. Ha, and then another pal in town offered to send in some reports, and what the hell, they both did. How do you say “Truck Nutz” in Czech, anyway? YOU WILL SOON FIND OUT. MORE »

Downtrodden Americans have little to cheer them in this new Depression, but we still enjoy what simple pleasures we can: a piping-hot bowl of rock-and-lettuce soup at the end of a long day; the sweet sound of a grown man suckling at a woman’s breast in a barn; and of course our beloved Truck Nutz. Now a godless South Carolinian town — the birthplace of America’s greatest hero, Strom Thurmond — is trying to fine citizens for displaying their beloved Nutz. MORE »

Wonkette Operative “Matt N.” has truly witnessed horror, in the supposed new socialist caliphate of the District of Communism: Real truck nutz, hanging off a goddamned trailer hitch, as intended by the manufacturer. MORE »

Oh look, another video e-greeting thingy … but wait! This is a custom holiday greeting just for all you Truck Nutz-lovin’ Obamatards with the perfect Ecodriving scores! Thanks, Obama Girl! Merry Xmas to you, too. [Barely Political]

Here is some wingnut PAC that seems real … either that, or somebody out there is a secret master of Political Satire and has a lot of fat/dumb relatives who will do anything for more Hot Cheetos and Truck Nutz. Thank you, Sarah Palin, you fucking idiot! [Our Country PAC]

Well now we have leverage with the Republican party to rebuild it in the likeness of Truck Nutz. The Paultards, meanwhile, have nothing. [Rebuild The Party]