December 11, 2013
Nashville Nutz Alert operative “Ames” sends your Wonkette this delightful nature photograph of Truck Nutz roaming free and happy in the wilds of a Tennessee parking lot, for all of us to enjoy. Savor it while you can! The Truck Nutz report from South Carolina indicates that over there, the species is being hunted to [...]
Our libertarian-Bostonian correspondent is on the road in Florida, chasing the GOP clowns. Here is a video-photo dispatch from him! JACKSONVILLE — We always feel bad for the poor interns/work-study kids who get stuck holding those goofy signs in spin rooms after debates. Don’t their arms get tired? We asked one of the poor bastards [...]
INSTANT COMEUPPANCE, BIYOTCHES. The killjoy police chief who fined a 65-year-old woman for hanging red Truck Nutz off her pickup truck turns out to be a bit of a “Joe Walsh” himself. He was tossed into the clink for owing $15,000 in back child support payments that he hadn’t paid since 2006. Is it sheer [...]
OH COME ON, as though somehow there are people out there who don’t love Truck Nutz? Judging by the number of people who sent us this tip, absolutely NO ONE in all of space/time except a humorless douchebag police officer who issued a $445 ticket to a 65-year-old woman for putting giant red balls on [...]
Ever since the fake “should we raise the debt ceiling debate” started (the answer is YES OF COURSE), the GOP has been using this fake debate as leverage to extract deep cuts from any social program not for millionaires as a condition for approving a ceiling hike. “No ceiling hike without spending cuts aimed at [...]
We’ve made it to the mountaintop, dear readers. First there were Truck Nutz, the automotive accessory a certain segment of the electorate used to alert others to their tenuous hold on masculinity. Then arose the Scooter People, the Tea Party faithful who realized the greatest dream of humanity: using a motorized wheelchair to save their [...]
The mayor of a Long Island village has suspended its fire chief for 30 days — because he refused to remove a crude set of plastic testicles from a fire truck. The item is a novelty $24.95 pair of “Bumpernuts” — colored bright blue — that had been affixed to the rear end of the [...]
This afternoon Canada had a socialist 5.0-magnitude earthquake all over its Eastern “provinces” of Ontario and Quebec. This being Canada, those brash, inconsiderate bastards, they couldn’t keep the thing to themselves — so for 30 seconds, Americans in states from Vermont to Michigan HAD TO DEAL with things shaking. Here’s yet another case of a [...]
Thanks, six-hundred-and-forty-four readers who sent links to the wacky new novelty item, “Truck Nutz things for your iPhone.” Thanks! Got it! Oh, you wanted us to post this? Why, exactly? Was it supposed to be funny?
Wonkette operative “Polly M.” was just hanging out at her local AutoZone parking lot in Austin when she saw America’s Most Shocking Set of Truck Nutz. The Skittles, the chrome rims, the weird soccer-ball bumper testicles, what does it mean? It means America is back, babies.
Here’s an Ironic Dilemma of Our Times: The only people truly offended by the dumb novelty item called “Truck Nutz” live in the only places where Truck Nutz are commonplace. Conservative church ladies simply don’t care for the plastic replicas of giant testicles swinging from all those pickup truck bumpers. Aren’t white people supposed to [...]
Now that the House is debating the Republican health care alternative, the sweeping “BonerCare” of ancient lore, it’s a good opportunity to share this amazing (and ominous — mostly ominous!) photograph from commenter “mollymcguire,” who actually lives in the Northern Marianas, as a sex slave who is currently getting railed by Tom DeLay or whatever [...]
Congratulations to veteran commenter “loquaciousmusic,” a part of whose sexy comment on some stupid post from 2008 was featured on last night’s The Daily Show in a segment demonstrating how fun it can be to make gay jokes about Lindsey Graham on the Internet. But oh, what is that credit in the upper-left corner? “CROOKS [...]
Whoa, the news scoops keep coming from City Paper about the horrific plans for the Real World gloom factory on 20th St. NW: The contractors have been instructed to install frightening “Love Sacks” — five of them, in a testicle-shaped “bay window,” so that neighbors and passers-by will have to watch the eight (?) cast [...]
Wonkette operative “Ali” sends this stunning camera-phone image of the biggest, baddest pair (trio?) of Truck Nutz in American History, attached to a golden fire chariot you need a step ladder just to see inside. This car, obviously, belongs to Rahm Emanuel.