truck nutz
It’s Been Another Banner Day in News About Truck Nutz
Nashville Nutz Alert operative “Ames” sends your Wonkette this delightful nature photograph of Truck Nutz roaming free and happy in the wilds of a Tennessee parking lot, for all of us to enjoy. Savor it while you can! The Truck Nutz report from South Carolina indicates that over there, the species is being hunted to [...]
Truck Nutz and Newtonian Child Labor On the Florida Campaign Trail
Our libertarian-Bostonian correspondent is on the road in Florida, chasing the GOP clowns. Here is a video-photo dispatch from him! JACKSONVILLE — We always feel bad for the poor interns/work-study kids who get stuck holding those goofy signs in spin rooms after debates. Don’t their arms get tired? We asked one of the poor bastards [...]
UPDATE: South Carolina Sheriff Thrown In Jail After Issuing TRUCK NUTZ Fine
INSTANT COMEUPPANCE, BIYOTCHES. The killjoy police chief who fined a 65-year-old woman for hanging red Truck Nutz off her pickup truck turns out to be a bit of a “Joe Walsh” himself. He was tossed into the clink for owing $15,000 in back child support payments that he hadn’t paid since 2006. Is it sheer [...]
South Carolina Launches All-Out Assault on Truck Nutz
OH COME ON, as though somehow there are people out there who don’t love Truck Nutz? Judging by the number of people who sent us this tip, absolutely NO ONE in all of space/time except a humorless douchebag police officer who issued a $445 ticket to a 65-year-old woman for putting giant red balls on [...]
Finally, Truck Nutz and Scooters Unite
We’ve made it to the mountaintop, dear readers. First there were Truck Nutz, the automotive accessory a certain segment of the electorate used to alert others to their tenuous hold on masculinity. Then arose the Scooter People, the Tea Party faithful who realized the greatest dream of humanity: using a motorized wheelchair to save their [...]
Brave Firefighter Suspended For Exercising God-Given Truck Nut Freedom
The mayor of a Long Island village has suspended its fire chief for 30 days — because he refused to remove a crude set of plastic testicles from a fire truck. The item is a novelty $24.95 pair of “Bumpernuts” — colored bright blue — that had been affixed to the rear end of the [...]
Canada Spills Earthquake Mess All Over Northern U.S. Border
This afternoon Canada had a socialist 5.0-magnitude earthquake all over its Eastern “provinces” of Ontario and Quebec. This being Canada, those brash, inconsiderate bastards, they couldn’t keep the thing to themselves — so for 30 seconds, Americans in states from Vermont to Michigan HAD TO DEAL with things shaking. Here’s yet another case of a [...]
Oh Here’s Your iPhone Nutz, NOW STOP SENDING IT, NOT EVEN FUNNY JESUS CHRIST COME ON
Thanks, six-hundred-and-forty-four readers who sent links to the wacky new novelty item, “Truck Nutz things for your iPhone.” Thanks! Got it! Oh, you wanted us to post this? Why, exactly? Was it supposed to be funny?
Texas Candy Car’s Truck Nutz Rock the Handicapped Spot
Wonkette operative “Polly M.” was just hanging out at her local AutoZone parking lot in Austin when she saw America’s Most Shocking Set of Truck Nutz. The Skittles, the chrome rims, the weird soccer-ball bumper testicles, what does it mean? It means America is back, babies.
Texan Lady Sad About Those Vulgar Truck Nutz Dangling From the Bumper of Every Texan Vehicle
Here’s an Ironic Dilemma of Our Times: The only people truly offended by the dumb novelty item called “Truck Nutz” live in the only places where Truck Nutz are commonplace. Conservative church ladies simply don’t care for the plastic replicas of giant testicles swinging from all those pickup truck bumpers. Aren’t white people supposed to [...]
Hopeful GOP Health Care Lobbyists Already Setting Up Shop In Northern Marianas
Now that the House is debating the Republican health care alternative, the sweeping “BonerCare” of ancient lore, it’s a good opportunity to share this amazing (and ominous — mostly ominous!) photograph from commenter “mollymcguire,” who actually lives in the Northern Marianas, as a sex slave who is currently getting railed by Tom DeLay or whatever [...]
‘Real World DC’ Architectural Mouth-Rape Fortress Also Includes ‘Love Sacks’
Whoa, the news scoops keep coming from City Paper about the horrific plans for the Real World gloom factory on 20th St. NW: The contractors have been instructed to install frightening “Love Sacks” — five of them, in a testicle-shaped “bay window,” so that neighbors and passers-by will have to watch the eight (?) cast [...]
Loose In DC Tonight: The Mother of All Truck Nutz
Wonkette operative “Ali” sends this stunning camera-phone image of the biggest, baddest pair (trio?) of Truck Nutz in American History, attached to a golden fire chariot you need a step ladder just to see inside. This car, obviously, belongs to Rahm Emanuel.
blog advertising is good for you
‘Crooks And Liars’ Commenter loquaciousmusic Is Famous On Teevee!
by Jim Newell
Congratulations to veteran commenter “loquaciousmusic,” a part of whose sexy comment on some stupid post from 2008 was featured on last night’s The Daily Show in a segment demonstrating how fun it can be to make gay jokes about Lindsey Graham on the Internet. But oh, what is that credit in the upper-left corner? “CROOKS [...]