Tag Archives: trolls

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Deleted Comments Of The Week: The Holocaust Was A Hoax, Martial Law In Texas Is Real

NB: Remember, talking about actual Nazis does not violate Godwin's Law
Lots of lovely deleted comments for you this week, many of them in reply to our piece about David Cole, the Holocaust denier who’s found an exciting new career denying climate change (he thinks climate scientists need to be tried for treason or something). Some of the comments were about what you’d expect, like this succinct dismissal of the entire topic, from one “boris_batonov,” who simply wrote: “so you retards believe in the holohoax” — and while we’re offended by his historical illiteracy and terrible punctuation, what really chafes is a username that insults a great cartoon character. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: The Holocaust Was A Hoax, Martial Law In Texas Is Real…
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Deleted Comments Of The Week: Poverty Is A Myth Because Poors Are Fat And Lazy

Dear Editor: I have had it up to here with playing second fiddle to a bunch of stupid marshmallow horses...
We got a bumper crop of idiots in the comments this week, for some reason — our fault, really, since Yr Wonkette had to go and stir up trouble by writing stuff about the poors, the blacks, the gays, and the Duggars — add your own punchline. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Poverty Is A Myth Because Poors Are Fat And Lazy…
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Deleted Comments: This One’s About Vaccines And Vaginas!

Vacation plan: Clean apartment, finish reading that Twain biography. Vacation reality: Booze & MLP fanfic
Oh, Wonkers, we have some beautiful deletia for you this week! Looks to us like some people have really been working overtime in the Derp Mines to bring us this fine assortment of stupidity. For starters, we have this thought-provoking bit of turnabout from “John Smith” (Real name: “Bob Johnson”), who understands that Bobby Jindal just wants to protect Liberty from the homos. Just think about this — would you libs really be so hot on forcing Christians to provide services to gay people if it also meant that gay people would have to serve people with whom they have traditionally been at Culture War? Read more on Deleted Comments: This One’s About Vaccines And Vaginas!…
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Deleted Comments Of The Week: You Sheepy Sheeple Are Such Sheep!

To The Management: Please correct this image. I would never use Courier. On second thought, never mind. You'd just replace it with Comic Sans.
We have a Very Special Men And Women of Few Words edition of Dear ShitFerBrains for you today, because due to some odd alignment of the planets this week, we didn’t receive a single long, painful screed that ranged over everything from Benghazi to water fluoridation. Just a lot of staccato bursts of derp. And so the question must be asked: Is our trolls learning? Hahahaha, who are we kidding, of course not (As always, all spelling, spacing, and punctuation is reproduced verbatim). Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: You Sheepy Sheeple Are Such Sheep!…
  Unfair!

Michelle Malkin Outraged: Twitter Jailing Conservatives Like They Are Japanese-Americans

Our thoughts exactly
BREAKING EXCLUSIVE MUST CREDIT TWITCHY! The liberal-biased interwebs are putting conservatives in Twitter jail, maybe (or maybe not) but probably (but probably not), just for being conservatives, OH NOES! Michelle Malkin, conservative keyboard-banging hero and founder of the the site with NINE PAID STAFFERS (or, ugh, maybe even more by now) who collect random tweets, mostly by Pat Sajak, and call it “the news wire of the 21st century,” is on to you, Twitter! Read more on Michelle Malkin Outraged: Twitter Jailing Conservatives Like They Are Japanese-Americans…
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Deleted Comments Of The Week: Rand Paul Is A Genius, You Morons!

To the editors: I liked the old library better.
Today, an abbreviated Dear Shitferbrains, seeing as how Yr Doktor Zoom has Ebola again and also needs to do his taxes like the rest of the One Percent. Not surprisingly, we heard from a lot of butthurt Rand Paul fans this week, most of whom wanted to point out that a journalist’s job is to ask a question and then write down the answers, and not to keep asking her question when Rand Paul interrupts her to tell her that her question is not a good one. “John 440″ was simply aghast that we would even write about such a non-news moment: Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Rand Paul Is A Genius, You Morons!…
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Deleted Comments Of The Week: Oh Yeah Wonket? Well YOU’RE An Abortion!

Dear Sir or Madame: I am outraged by the lack of variety in the .gifs on this blog!
This week’s crop of deleted comments made us feel a bit nostalgic, since a couple of them employ a rightwing rhetorical trope that we first noticed when we still read the local news-paper while listening to Fleetwood Mac on the Victrola. It’s the simplest possible sort of non sequitur: just take any current event and point out that the Scourge Of Abortion is far worse. “I don’t see why the plane crash in ____ is news when hundreds of babies are slaughtered daily…” “Your article on the Armenian Genocide reminded me that Americans are happy to deny their own genocide, legal since 1973…” “How can your reviewer complain about Ishtar when a true abomination takes place in Planned parenthood clinics every day?” So yeah, we got a couple of those this week. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Oh Yeah Wonket? Well YOU’RE An Abortion!…
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Deleted Comments Of The Week: Why Are We Being Anti-Semitic To Sarah Palin?

Scootaloo is neither a gun owner nor Jewish, as far as we know. She worships Rainbow Dash
The Deleted Comments Hopper was extra-full this week, largely because we hit on a convergence of topics in one post: we wrote about the Palin family and guns at the same time, and that combination summoned the angerbears from the depths. Also, we suggested that not all American Jews agree with Congressschmuck Steve King, who carries so much water for AIPAC that he has calves the size of challas, and that brought us some real winners too. Heck, we don’t even have room to mention the anti-vaxxer who said that criticizing paranoia about vaccines is the “type of attitude is what forced people into internment camps and concentration camps,” which is really too bad, because we wish we could have mentioned that. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Why Are We Being Anti-Semitic To Sarah Palin?…
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Deleted Comments Of The Week: We Are Illiterate Illegal Parasites In Prison. Science Fact!

Haha, 'COORS'
Since Disqus has brought us a bunch of new commenters (Hi! Welcome To The Monkeyhouse! Play nice!), we’d just like to ‘splain why we moderate comments in the first place, instead of allowing unfettered Free Speach: It’s because we are big believers in the First Amendment, which gives us the right to run our little mommyblog/recipe hub/Pony appreciation society however the hell we want to. It’s our parlor, and if we choose not to invite someone in because they’re intent on muddying up the carpet and shitting on the credenza, or even if we don’t like their Gadsden Flag t-shirt, that’s our business. Don’t like it? Do some Free Enterprise and offer the Editrix an obscene amount of money to buy the site so you can change how things work. (We hear she’ll only sell if the staff get some pretty impressive golden parachutes.) Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: We Are Illiterate Illegal Parasites In Prison. Science Fact!…
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Deleted Comments Of The Week: Shoot-Out At The Not-Okay Corral

No, *you're* the most basic of jokes.
Oh, it has been a busy week in Deleted Comments land! Thanks to our switchover to Disqus, the comments are a bit more Wild West-y than they had been — in Olden times, new commenters had to be approved, but now, Yr Moderators have to patrol the dusty streets and clear them of miscreants who shamble into view. Happily, you Wonkers are all deputized to help us keep our comments section a happy Radical Liberal Secularist Leftist Libunatic playground as well, via the “flag” option that appears when you move your mouse over any comment, like so: Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Shoot-Out At The Not-Okay Corral…
  Thanks a lot DICK

Twitter Sucks, Says Twitter

Official Dick of Twitter
Are you a person who writes words on the interwebs for fun and/or profit? Do you make jokes and do hashtags on The Twitters? If so, this SHOCKING! revelation from Twitter CEO Dick Costolo is not going to SHOCK! you so much as make you go, “Uh yeah, DICK, we know.” Read more on Twitter Sucks, Says Twitter…
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Deleted Comments Of The Day: In Which We Hear From Some Turkeys

We elected not to use the Cosmo-Kramer-as-turkey image we first saw. You're welcome.
We really were planning to just get a couple of new posts up today and then coast on recipes while getting ready for Thanksgiving, but darned if we didn’t notice a couple of high-priority, short-shelf-life messages from idiots in the Comments queue. They simply would not wait until after the weekend, no sir. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: In Which We Hear From Some Turkeys…
  Duggar? I Hardly Even Knew 'Er!

The Duggars Want Photos Of Happy Married Couples. Gay Folks Know What They Must Do

So beautiful and Goddy
Hey, kids, the Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, First Family of the Quiverful movement (motto: “Babies For God! Shoes For Industry!”), just put up a Facebook post to let the world know that married people kissyface is the greatest thing in the world. And they were actually being very brave, because someone on the Internet was rude to their perfect newlywed daughter Jessa, after she posted an InstaSnoggogram photo of her and her new husband, ManFace, locking lips. Here’s the Duggartext, with the interesting part for us emphasized: Read more on The Duggars Want Photos Of Happy Married Couples. Gay Folks Know What They Must Do…
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Deleted Comments Of The Week: You People Lost An Election, So Shut Up Now

Equestria's political system is a matter of some speculation. Fandom is weird.
As you may have heard, there was an election this week, and The People Have Spoken. Or at least The People who bothered to vote have spoken, and they are the ones what matter. Not surprisingly, the results of the election have sent ripples into the fetid exploding foamy pigdoot lagoon that is our comment queue, and so in the spirit of sharing, we bring you this important note from “collioure1,” who wants us to know that Our Side Lost, and we therefore have no call to question the brilliance of Senator-elect Joni Ernst: Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: You People Lost An Election, So Shut Up Now…
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Deleted Comments Of The Week: Electoral Dysfunction Edition

Wonkette does not allow magic scrolls, either.
Is it Saturday already? Must be time to put on the old Hazmat suit — which we never leave the house without now, on account of the ‘bola — and go skim off the worst of the dumbth in the comment queue for you, our dear readers. It’s an eclectic grab bag of goo this week, but we see that we moved some folks to political activism! Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Electoral Dysfunction Edition…
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Deleted Comments of the Week: We Need To Worry About Guns Because ‘White Is Almost A Minority’

To The Management: Please correct this image. I would never use Courier. On second thought, never mind. You'd just replace it with Comic Sans.
Another Saturday, another trip to the comments queue! We never know what sort of detritus we’re going to fish out, but we can always guarantee that it would benefit from a few passes with a high-pressure steam hose. This week, we don’t seem to have any overwhelming theme, just a mixed grab bag of stupid. Read more on Deleted Comments of the Week: We Need To Worry About Guns Because ‘White Is Almost A Minority’…
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Deleted Comments Of The Week: An Armed Society Will Teach Black Teens Some Manners

Scootaloo is neither a gun owner nor Jewish, as far as we know. She worships Rainbow Dash
It’s time for our weekly mucking-out of the ol’ comments queue — a chore that we manage to be more diligent about than we are when it comes to changing the water in our betta fish’s tank. Sorry about that, Flushy, but the slime is just a lot thicker in the comments queue. This week, we have some fresh steaming nonsense from a couple of Internet warriors who are quite unhappy at the life sentence handed to Florida sociopath Michael Dunn in the first-degree murder of Jordan Davis. According to one “Jim Smithill,” Jordan Davis got exactly what he deserved for being a black teenager in a vehicle that was rudely playing loud music — as we all know, it’s the thuggish rear-seat passengers who cause the most trouble: Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: An Armed Society Will Teach Black Teens Some Manners…
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Deleted Comments Of The Day: You Lieberals And Your Stupid Fake ‘Global Warming’

My Little Pony: Friendship is Lesbian Horse Propaganda
Oh, golly gee, this will be a fun edition of Dear Shitferbrains, because not only do we have a genuine climate denier in our the ol’ comments queue, we also have a concern troll who accuses us of being fascists, a possible Poe’s Law enthusiast (or straightforward lunatic), and a Ben Carson fan. AND MORE! Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: You Lieberals And Your Stupid Fake ‘Global Warming’…
  History's Greatest Monster Watched 'The Untouchables' This One Time

Gateway Pundit: Why Is Barack Obama Throwing Molotov Cocktails At Those Nice Policemen In Ferguson?

Who speaks for the finger puppets?
Barack Obama briefly addressed the situation in Ferguson, Missouri, today, calling for calm and saying that there was no excuse for violence against the police, but “there is also no excuse for police to use excessive force against peaceful protests.” Read more on Gateway Pundit: Why Is Barack Obama Throwing Molotov Cocktails At Those Nice Policemen In Ferguson?…