Hey, bitters, Sarah Palin is just like you! Except for the $150,000 Saks and Neiman-Marcus shopping sprees, we mean, and the $4,000 haircut. McCain’s campaign spent this huge pile of cash — more than what all but the richest Americans earn in a whole year — immediately after choosing Palin’s name from a hat filled with all the names of people who were registered Republicans, in America. Who knew she only owned shabby Alaskan tanning-salon outfits! She needed to be properly dressed and accessorized, to create those “starbursts” from the nutsacks of wingnuts. MORE »

This is the debut advertisement for a new initiative called DrugDealerCindy.com, launched by a bunch of marijuana cigarette addicts at the group S.A.F.E.R., “Safer Alternative For Enjoyable Recreation.” Ha ha, the first word in your title is also the acronym itself. MORE »

Here’s the video of John McCain offering up his wife to the biker crowd yesterday, in South Dakota. It’s the most sexist thing we’ve seen all campaign. Look at how excited John McCain is about serving up his wife for the nudie show, so these mutts can get their greasy paws all over her. He has a little trouble looking her in the eye, hmm? [YouTube]

Everyone knows that John McCain hates his wife and calls her a “cunt” almost all the time. Everyone also knows that John McCain is a famous comedian, which is why his best friend is Jon Stewart, from television. And that’s why he made a “wisecrack” yesterday about beating up his wife in Las Vegas. Ha ha, because if he actually did beat up his wife, his chances of becoming president would be limited! MORE »

John McCain has a cute “pet name” for his much-younger second wife, Cindy the beer heiress. The name is “you cunt.” He also calls her “trollop,” which would be kind of funny/retro if he wasn’t 200 years old. Anyway, enjoy some more video, but remember it’s people saying CUNT CUNT CUNT so maybe don’t turn up your speakers, at work. [YouTube]

A few months ago, John McCain’s second and current wife, “Trollop” Cindy, was caught stealing recipes from the Food Network and publishing them as her own material, a simple lapse of ethics that you’re supposed to learn, and master, at age four. To atone for this, Cindy fired a hapless intern. But the problem was systemic! Cindy has contributed another recipe, to Parents magazine. This recipe for Oatmeal Butterscotch Cookies was, of course, directly cribbed from Hershey’s website. Th-that’s not ch-change we-ee can b-believe in. In fact, it’s copyright infringement! Anyway, this Parents magazine article has a comments section, so let’s check it out. MORE »