Tag Archives: trig

  the service industry

Woman Who Says Todd Palin Sexed Her Also Says Trig Was Faked

There exists a rumor that Todd Palin had sex with some Alaska massage lady. Is it true? Doesn’t matter. There was an opening in the media patchwork for a Todd Palin sex rumor, and somebody filled it. Luckily for Palin rumor bloggers, this masseuse is also willing to confirm another Palin rumor, that Sarah Palin never was pregnant with Trig, and Trig is therefore the spawn of Bristol Palin or some other form of extraterrestrial life. This massage lady says she gave a massage to Sarah Palin during this supposed pregnancy, but when she felt up her abdomen, there were exactly zero magic Downs-syndrome campaign props inside it. Wow, what a nice coincidence it is that this lady is able to give life to so many Palin rumors, and in such detail! Read more on Woman Who Says Todd Palin Sexed Her Also Says Trig Was Faked…
  rumors on the internets

Islamophobia Is America’s Most Favorite Thing, Besides Internet P0rn

Americans are fat and poor, mostly because of those damn muslins and their evil mosques and kor-annes and prayer carpeting. [Matt Yglesias] The White House built a ramp in honor of the 20th anniversary of Disabled Americans, and also because Joe Biden kept falling down the stairs. [Washington Examiner] Read more on Islamophobia Is America’s Most Favorite Thing, Besides Internet P0rn…
  get with it queen elizabeth

Sarah Palin Is Boycotting Bristol and Levi’s Storybook Camo Wedding

Famous playwright Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol announced last week that true love does exist as she and Levi Johnston are getting married next month. But it appears Sarah Palin has chosen tragedy andwill not be attending this solemn ceremony, according to a “family friend.” Will Bristol and Levi be completely disowned by the Palin clan and no longer be eligible for the co-presidency? Will Sarah sell her prized Trig back to his real mother? SO MANY QUESTIONS. Read more on Sarah Palin Is Boycotting Bristol and Levi’s Storybook Camo Wedding…
  give the people what they want

Anonymous Fetishists Want To Slap Diapered Adrian Fenty

D.C. Mayor Adrian Fenty was already having enough trouble in his re-election campaign against Council Chairman Vincent Gray before mysterious flyers and ads in the Washington City Paper started appearing depicting Fenty in a diaper on a rocking horse and bearing the title “SLAP THIS BRAT.” The diaper fetishist constituency is sick of your BROKEN PROMISES, Adrian Fenty, and wants you IN A DIAPER, BEING SLAPPED, SO WE CAN ALL JERK OFF TO IT, AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Read more on Anonymous Fetishists Want To Slap Diapered Adrian Fenty…
  it's funny because it's true

John McCain Calls Sarah Palin ‘Irrelevant’

Ancient Aztec death-mummy and known media whore John McCain participated in his usual Sunday ritual yesterday: he crashed his plane in Vietnam and then put in an appearance on Meet the Press. And on that very important talk show, he said something that was actually true! You will never guess what that true thing was! (HINT DO NOT LOOK AT POST TITLE) Read more on John McCain Calls Sarah Palin ‘Irrelevant’…
  why does ron paul desecrate trig?

Ron Paul Thinks Sarah Palin Supporters Belong To Country Clubs

Here’s some fun news: Ron Paul just slammed the hell out of Sarah Palin. It’s in The Politico, even! But, bizarrely, he mocks Palin’s idiot supporters as “more establishment, conventional Country-Club type of Republicans.” Dr. Paul, have you seen the YouTubes of the dumb white trash who lined up to yell racist idiocy while Palin stood there grinning? Read more on Ron Paul Thinks Sarah Palin Supporters Belong To Country Clubs…
  why does thomas frank hate trig?

LIBERAL MEDIA DESECRATES SARAH PALIN AGAIN! “Indeed, if political figures stand for ideas, victimization is what Ms. Palin is all about. It is her brand, her myth. Ronald Reagan stood tall. John McCain was about service. Barack Obama has hope. Sarah Palin is a collector of grievances. She runs for high office by griping.” [Wall Street Journal] Read more on …
  you shall not make for yourself a graven image

Sarah Palin Will Soon Condemn, Bomb Entire Internet

The Virgin Palin, Our Lady of Eternal Anger, gave birth to the New Jesus at some point last year — or not, who knows, and now Andrew Sullivan just cares about Iran (which is a good thing!) so we’ll never find out the truth — and ever since it has been both a Cardinal/Venial Sin and Sharia Law that no mortal shall “desecrate” an image of the Sacred One … no one but Sarah Palin herself, because Allah both allows and encourages the use of the Holy Infant as a cheap political prop as long as such cruel hackery is performed by the Virgin Palin herself. Read more on Sarah Palin Will Soon Condemn, Bomb Entire Internet…
  unwanted gifts

Happy Belated Mother’s Day!

Did you all have a “great” Mother’s Day Sunday Holiday? A brunch, perhaps, and maybe some flowers or the giving of a crappy stuffed animal toy actually intended for a toddler? GOOD FOR YOU. And now, as Wonkette’s Monday night present to all you muthas, go to this awful new website Awkward Family Photos because you might as well do it now, as 500 people — possibly including your own mother — will send you this link in the days to come. [Awkward Family Photos] Read more on Happy Belated Mother’s Day!…
  snowbilly meltdown

WTF, Levi Johnston/Baby Pics Shown On TeeVee Are Actually Pics of Levi Holding Sarah Palin’s Supposed Baby Trig?

Not to be all Andrew Sullivan but WHAT THE HELL is Levi Johnston doing here, in May of last year, tenderly cradling supposed Sarah Palin child “Trig Palin” in this photograph taken in Sarah’s kitchen, days after Trig’s birth? And WHY was this photo shown on the Tyra Banks Program to illustrate teen father Levi Johnston holding his supposed son “Tripp Johnston,” supposedly birthed by Bristol Palin? And why is sister Mercede Johnston also photographed lovingly cradling this child she refers to as “baby brother,” (supposedly Sarah Palin’s supposed baby “Trigg Palin”) in the exact same Palin kitchen setting, on the same day? Look, we liked Twin Peaks, too, but this is just getting ridiculous. [Palin’s Deceptions/Flickr] Read more on WTF, Levi Johnston/Baby Pics Shown On TeeVee Are Actually Pics of Levi Holding Sarah Palin’s Supposed Baby Trig?…
  wasilla family values

Levi vs. Sarah, TeeVee’s Longest Running Snowbilly Reality Show

This is going to go on forever — and eventually, it will involve the female participants wrestling in a vat of Taco Bell X-treme ketchup or whatever. Hooray! Now, lest you believe this is somehow “trivial” or “exactly what happens in much of America,” we want to remind you that this woman, Sarah Palin, intends to become President, somehow, and then she will install Trig as “Prince ‘o Peace,” and he will rule the world for 666 years, and then he will nuke it. He is made of nukes, Trig is. Read more on Levi vs. Sarah, TeeVee’s Longest Running Snowbilly Reality Show…
  fundamental questions

Who Is The Real President Of America Right Now?

Your country, the United States, comes closer and closer to the brink of complete economic and militaristic (but mostly economic these days!) ruination with every passing second. Oh, don’t blame yourself, dear reader. Blame the government — yeah, you know the one! Because, due to a confluence of distant inaugurations, inept lame ducks and quietly ambitious second-tier Washington officials, we’ve got one foot in the Great New Depression II with the other about to step in… and yet we have no idea who is actually running the country! By our count, we have three (3) presidents right now, and they’re all just going around doing their own things while your money is literally dying. So which president, pray tell, is the REAL president right now? Read more on Who Is The Real President Of America Right Now?…
  andrew sullivan is so happy!

Sarah Palin Releases Medical Records Fax From Some Doctor

So much news from doomed loser snowbilly Sarah Palin tonight! Her rogue campaign is going super-rogue, by, uh, getting her own investigator to release a new investigation saying that, actually, she did not abuse her power with the crazy obsession to fire her ex-brother-in-law, and oh, some local doctor sent a fax to Anderson Cooper or something, on Election Eve. Read more on Sarah Palin Releases Medical Records Fax From Some Doctor…