trees

Used to be a man (or a lady!) could watch some tentacle porn in peace, not having to worry about how it might affect the planet at large. But now, thanks to the hippies at Pornhub, we’re all expected to act locally and wank globally. Pornhub, a website that is exactly what it says it […]

The Republican swath of the Tennessee House appears to have gotten an email chain letter from far-right crazy uncle the John Birch Society (desperate times), and the Tennessee House has heeded its call! Seems the New World Order managed to pass a truly insidious United Nations plan called Agenda 21 (it just sounds communist, wouldn’t […]

Time and again since Barack Obama took office, “severe weather” has been blamed for the destruction of many beautiful old trees all around the White House grounds. Why does this socialist Muslim president hate our nation’s trees so much? As an example of why magazines should not have websites full of cutesy bullshit blog posts, […]

Who knew that our Historical First Ladies (and Queen Elizabeth) were such arborists? For centuries, patriotic ladies have cultivated the White House gardens by shoveling dirt atop already planted trees — and their efforts have made our Nation’s Capital safe and tourist friendly. The White House gardeners also helped, by actually planting the trees.

Yesterday the President and First Lady and Bill Clinton and some other important types planted some stuff out on the Anacostia River, including a tree or two, and Barack started joshing with Michelle about who’s the better tree-planter. This completely confused one “Political Punch” reader. SHHHH nobody tell them that “talking trash” is code for […]

Idaho Congressman Bill Sali has been participating in the current GOP Cuddle Party For Oil. But no one will listen to him even though he knows everything! In fact, he could solve the entire energy crisis in one hot minute if people paid any damn attention, because he knows that there “could be up to […]