Tag: treason

My Little Pony: Friendship is a Plot to Take Away Our Liberty

Deleted Comments: Is This Some Kind Of Cult? You Can ALL Burn In HELL! Also, I Own 20 Assault Rifles.

We sure hope these folks are more competent handling guns than they are with keyboards.

Deleted Comments: From Hell’s Heart I Stab At Thee! I Will Never Stop Until Wonkette Debates Me!

The 2nd Amendment is the law of the land, so protesting guns is treason. Cool story, bro.

Donald Trump Says Bunch Of Dumb Shit While Stock Market Plunges. Look, Kittens!

If Monday was any indication, we're in for another weird week.

Trey Gowdy Eats Own Dick In Front Of Former CIA Director, How Embarrassing

Is Trey Gowdy the dumbest fucking cracker in Congress again? WHOA IF TRUE!

Intel Committee Chair Devin Nunes: He Going To Jail Or Nah? A Lawsplainer!

What laws MIGHT Devin Nunes have broken this week in the process of humping Donald Trump's leg? Let's Clusterfucksplore!

Ukraine Is PISSED Y’ALL About Trump Pals’ Freelance Diplomacy They Deny Having Done

Some countries really don't like it when Russia messes around in their affairs. Donald Trump's U.S.A. is so far not one of them.
Just a man who loves his country

ISIS’s Preferred Candidate Donald Trump So Mad Hillary Clinton Says He’s Helping ISIS

Hillary Clinton said Donald Trump's anti-Muslim rhetoric helps ISIS. ISIS agrees -- they'd love a Trump presidency.
myfriends, my friends, my friends..FIVE AND A HLAF YEARS, ALAN!

‘Oath Keepers’ Militia Loons Pretty Sure John McCain Needs To Be Executed For Being Tortured

A rightwing militia group is certain that a recording of John McCain's 1969 forced confession proves he needs to be executed for treason. Protip: "patriot" groups who want to overthrow the government give lousy legal advice.
Guys with beards this epic are either brilliant or fucking nuts

Arkansas Gentleman In Jail Just For Loving Bible Too Much, Threatening To Kill Seven Mayors

Guy who threatened seven mayors insisted that learning the 10 Commandments along with his ABCs made him the man he is today. Hmm.

Tom Cotton Screwing Up The One Good Thing Congress Might’ve Done This Year

Wow, it looks like Congress is actually going to accomplish something for once, on prison reform! Surely, no one can screw this one up for us, right? Ohhh, you sweet summer child. So who's here to rain on our happy...

Ted Nugent Lonely, Would Like To See His Secret Service Pals Just One More Time

Ted Nugent is neither dead nor in jail. But he keeps trying! Whom is Mr. Cat Scratch threatening to murder to death today? Oh, same old: Blah blah blah, hang Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama from the neck until dead,...
Prepare the emergency internet goats

Military Court Won’t Even Kill Deserter Guy Bowe Bergdahl Dead, How Is That Fair

Bowe Bergdahl, the Army sergeant who walked off his base in Afghanistan in 2009 and spent five years in captivity with the Taliban, will face a general court-martial on charges of desertion and of "misbehavior before the enemy,"...
Oh, but that's the whole point, don't you get it? The Constitution has to be rescued from the law! Come see the violence inherent in the system!

Arizona Patriot Road-Tripping To Michigan To Arrest Senator, Please Send Gas Money

Remember that idiot in Arizona who bravely organized the Great Big Phoenix Mosque Protest, then whined and begged for money to buy guns after he believed the big bad Muslims were coming to get him, and also fretted after...
Hard to say whether these are rifles or handguns. Either way, she can openly carry 'em now in Texas.

New Texas ‘Open Carry’ Gun Law Still Won’t Let You Do Crimes, Have Gun. Sooooo Unfair

Terrific news for freedom and stuff in Texas! Gov. Greg Abbott signed two great big gun laws on Saturday, making it legal for Texans with permits to carry handguns openly, and for concealed carry permit holders to carry their...
In a better, stronger America, this sticker would be larger. Damn you, John McCain!

Oath-Keepers Founder: Let’s Hang John McCain For Being Hitler

Hey, what are those charming Oath Keepers up to this week, as part of their Keeping of Oaths? How about the anti-government militia group's founder, Stewart Rhodes, calling for Sen. John McCain to be tried for treason for his...