trayvon martin

Poor George Zimmerman just can’t seem to catch a break. Despite his best efforts, there are still people who don’t see him as a hero. Worse, his fledgling career as an artist seems to have stalled out, and while plenty of people might want to punch him right in the nose, he can’t do it […]

We knew that David Brat, the literal David to Eric Cantor’s figurative Goliath, would be a source of endless joy and terror for us, but even we didn’t think it would happen so soon. But the very morning after the amazing, stunning upset, one Zachary Werrell, Mr. Brat’s 23-year-old campaign manager and angry toddler, had […]

Poor George Zimmerman is a victim once more, this time of a callous public that failed to turn out at a gun show to meet him and get his autograph. Don’t people understand that if George Zimmerman isn’t constantly applauded for his brave ground-standing, the spark of freedom will be extinguished and he might have […]

George Zimmerman is BACK y’all! He is back to whine soulfully at you about how hard it is to be George Zimmerman. Why, people are vocal to him! Him! George Zimmerman! Who is a real swell guy! George Zimmerman would like to further his education and become a lawyer, so he can do good in […]

Carrion-feeding HLN anchor Nancy Grace is not one bit happy about this upcoming pugilistic contest between acquitted teen-shooter George “Sweet Florida Justice” Zimmerman and rapper person “DMX,” who sounds like an additive you’d find in cough syrup. Grace, whose career consists of walking viewers through the sordid details of crimes — for educational purposes, of […]

We’ve been debating whether to avoid giving George Zimmerman additional oxygen for his crass fauxlebrity boxing event, but let’s face it: he’s a perpetual motion machine of terrible, and we’re duty-bound to write about it. His fight opponent will be rapper DMX, who already said he’ll piss on Zimmerman, so at least there’s that. Because […]

You guys, we’re beginning to think that George Zimmerman might be the tiniest bit attention whore-y. There’s the whole “look at me! I am making Provocative Paintings” thing and now Georgie Boy has clawed his way back into the public eye by telling god and all comers that he’d like to do a celebrity boxing […]

Who is the most famous contemporary American artist? It’s debatable, but probably George Zimmerman. We are being serious. Jesus fudge, we really are. Prolific, too! Here is his latest: a monochrome horror smear of Angela Corey, the Florida prosecutor who had the nerve to charge the nascent artist with murder even though it was legal […]

We all know about how Sarah Palin makes sure to read all the newspapers in existence, though if you ask her about that, you’re being a bitch and you get what you deserve. In stark contrast to the voracious reading habits of Ms. Palin, we have the State Attorney for Florida’s Fourth Judicial Circuit Court, […]

These days George Zimmerman is taking a cue from all those people comparing themselves to Gandhi, and Mandela, and Rosa Parks. Almost (actually, not “almost”) to a man, those people were in fact fighting for the opposite of what Gandhi, and Mandela, and Rosa Parks were fighting for! (It was pretty funny, except for how […]

The ‘knockout game’ is over. OK, it was probably never even a real thing in the sense that it was hard to see how it was any different from getting “snuck” by “some idiot” which has been going on “since forever.” Never mind that. Pretend it was real, and that it was a big deal. […]

Twitter is, of course, the place where people go to embarrass themselves in public. That’s just part of the day-to-day background noise. Throw in a national holiday, and you get all sorts of beautiful new opportunities to be an ass. Case in point, this tweet from conservative intellectual powerhouse Dinesh D’Souza, who’s thankful that America […]

So remember how Brave Ground Standing Hero George Zimmerman was arrested for domestic violencing his girlfriend? Of course you do, because it was just the other day, and even if you missed the headline, you are not the least bit surprised because that sure does sound like goofy ol’ George, doesn’t it? Well, it turns […]

The Orlando Sentinel has confirmed that George Zimmerman, the white-Hispanic knight who saved Florida from hordes of ravaging teenage boys going to the market, has been arrested. Details of the arrest were not available, but here is some serious What the Fuck: It’s not clear what happened or what crime he’s accused of committing, but […]

At some point after George Zimmerman moved out of the house that he had lived in with his soon-to-be-ex-wife Shellie, he (ALLEGEDLY!) came back and left behind a bullet-riddled shooting range target nailed to one wall of the living room. While lacking the handcrafted artisanal Crazy of the knife-pierced valentine Mia Farrow gave Woody Allen, it seems […]