trayvon martin
Fox News Expert Explains Trayvon Martin Died Of ‘Street Attitude’ Plus Some Bullet Wounds
Here is former NYPD detective Harry Houck bringing his hard-boiled perspective to Fox News on Tuesday, serving up a generous helping of No-Nonsense Tough Talk in a panel discussion about the second day of jury selection in George Zimmerman’s trial. Harry Houck is NOT IMPRESSED by the likelihood that the prosecutor lady will talk about how [...]
Fox News George Zimmerman Lawsplainer: Stay Strapped Because You Never Know When Iced Tea Will Attack
We weren’t going to cover the jury selection in the trial of George Zimmerman, intrepid neighbor watch hero, because what is there to say except “yep, they’re selecting a jury” and maybe “dude, try a skinnier knot on your tie because your head is ENORMOUS.” Unlike Fox News, we clearly didn’t think through all possible [...]
George Zimmerman’s Defense Team: Just What This Guy Deserves
Man, George Zimmerman can’t catch a break. Remember that guy — the one who shot a kid for walking around his neighborhood with the wrong kind of Skittles, or something. Well, he apparently retained the World’s Worstest Lawyer. The whole plan of defense is that Trayvon Martin was the aggressor, and Mr. Zimmerman was only [...]
George Zimmerman Was Understandably Threatened By Trayvon Martin’s Cell Phone Picture Of A Gun
George Zimmerman’s attorneys have found the smoking gun, you guys. You see, it was totally warranted for their client to murder a 17-year-old boy, whom he’d been following, at night, and who then may have jumped him and kicked his ass while he was being followed by a strange man, because that boy once texted [...]
George Zimmerman’s Brother, Still Not A Racist, Says Tweets About Black Murderers Were About Danger Of Teens
Keep fucking that chicken, Robert Zimmerman Jr. After tweeting a whole bunch of super not racist stuff about how the boy who (allegedly) shot that lady’s baby* and Trayvon Martin were pretty much twins separated at birth, and also how black kids are always doing crimes, Zimmerman — the brother of George Zimmerman, who killed [...]
Former South Carolina GOP Head Loves The Troops So Much He Wishes This One Vet Had ‘Come Home In A Body Bag’
Former South Carolina GOP executive director and weinermailer Todd Kincannon is doing his part to Support The Troops, if by “support” you mean “wish violent death to.”
George Zimmerman’s Brother Not Really Helping
Sorry dudes, but if you don’t want to experience the beauty and cosmic joy that is George Zimmerman’s brother explaining Race Facts at you, just go ahead and wait for the next post. Still with us? Then you get to learn that Zimmerman’s brother, Robert Zimmerman Jr.*, is tweeting pictures of Trayvon Martin coupled with [...]
Happy Eighteenth Birthday, Trayvon Martin, Racism Is Over
Oh, Trayvon Martin, we are so sorry you are dead. You were just a few months younger than our own terrible son, who is terrible. We understand from others that this is not “rare.” And that he may grow out of it by the time he’s 25, or 30. You will not be 25 or [...]
Republican Who Tweeted About Trayvon Martin As A Drug-Addled Gay Hustler Would Like To Show You His Penis
This morning we learned about Todd Kincannon, a sensitive former executive director of the South Carolina GOP. We learned that he loves to say on Twitter that Travyon Martin deserved to be put down like a rabid dog, and also that if he had grown up (which of course he did not) he would have [...]
South Carolina Republican Bravely Tweets Similarities Between Trayvon Martin, Super Bowl
Meet Todd Kincannon. This tall drink of water is the former executive director of the South Carolina Republican Party, an attorney, and the community organizer of something on Twitter called the Twitter Gulag Defense Network or #tgdn. Todd Kincannon is also a man with some very strong opinions about last night’s Super Bowl. This Super [...]
Poor George Zimmerman’s Wife Just Cannot Catch A Break
First George Zimmerman’s wife — uh, let’s see here, Shellie N. Zimmerman, 25 — marries George Zimmerman, who may, just may, be some sort of hyper-aggressive, rage-anoidal homicidal maniac. Then she has to go into hiding for a long time because the New Black Panther Party pretty much wants to murder everyone George Zimmerman has [...]
Stand Your Ground Totally Not Adversely Affecting Black People
Good news everyone! Well, good news and bad news — a mixed bag of news. First, we bring you the bad news: turns out, Florida’s Stand Your Ground law has allowed drug dealers, gang members, killers, animal abusers, and violent attackers to walk free. But now for the good news! Floridians are extra creative when [...]
George Zimmerman’s View To A Pill
When Trayvon Martin was killed, it looked really bad for George Zimmerman until it was discovered that he was fighting the savage effects of a marijuana-fueled person of color. Little did Zimmerman know that the young man he was chasing was seeking weedemption for all of his terrorist pot smoking members who belong to a [...]
Reverse Racism! Young White Person Unjustly Profiled For Wearing Hoodie
How many times will this tragedy repeat itself? A young person with great potential and maybe a few minor misdeeds in his past tries to go somewhere that he as an American has every right to go. But immediately the small-time powers in that land view him with mistrust, all because he chooses to wear [...]
Nice Lt. Gov. Of Florida Knows Nothing About Trayvon Martin Case, But Thanks For Calling
Noted American humorist Dave Barry once remarked that the main jobs of a lieutenant governor are to wear a tie and call up the governor once a day to make sure he or she isn’t dead. And that was pretty funny … in the ’80s, when your Comics Curmudgeon was in junior high and loved [...]
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