Tag Archives: trayvon martin

  Acquitted Child Killer Says What?

George Zimmerman Opposes Racist Hate Crimes Now, Hooray!

He thinks good
He thinks good You have probably been wondering, ever since the horrible news broke yesterday, “Say! What does unemployable child-killer George Zimmerman think about the unspeakable killings of two young television journalists in Virginia? I am looking forward to his insights!” Happily, Mr. Zimmerman obliged a world that was waiting for his opinions on the matter, and took to the Tweetosphere, that we might all drink deeply of his wisdom. You will be astonished to learn that Mr. Zimmerman seems to have noticed that the murderer was black and also gay, which are really the only two facts that anyone needs to know. Oh, and also Barack Obama apparently approved of the murders, if he didn’t order them himself. Read more on George Zimmerman Opposes Racist Hate Crimes Now, Hooray!…
  noblesse oblige

George Zimmerman Made New Finger Painting For Racist, Gun-Fondling BFF

Aren't those amendments part of the AMERICAN constitution?
Aren’t those amendments part of the AMERICAN constitution? Florida Man George Zimmerman, the guy who killed Trayvon Martin that one time, is somehow not currently in prison, which just proves you cannot cage artistic genius. Instead, he is doing art again, which is good and healthy and nice, because it’s real hard to aim and shoot at teenagers when your hands are all messy with finger paint: Read more on George Zimmerman Made New Finger Painting For Racist, Gun-Fondling BFF…
  Why Would A Racist Give *Us* Money?

Charleston Killer’s Favorite Racist Gave A Bunch Of Money To Top Republicans, Oops

Just a racist, his gun, his flag, and his spring planting project
By now you’ve probably read about what’s believed to be Dylann Roof’s idiot manifesto, detailing all his insights into The Blacks and The Jews. It’s the usual loathsome pile of racist crap, but he does at least let us know where he got a lot of his ideas: from the Council of Conservative Citizens (CCC), the modern version of what used to be the “White Citizens Councils” of the ’50s and ’60s. And here’s a heck of a thing: Earl Holt, the leader of the racist group, has given buttloads of money to Republican candidates in the last few years, not that they agree with him, oh no no no, he’s despicable. But he has a checkbook. Read more on Charleston Killer’s Favorite Racist Gave A Bunch Of Money To Top Republicans, Oops…
  Department Of Predictable Outcomes

Somebody Shot George Zimmerman, Let’s Speculate Why

Was Zimmerman targeted for Loving Freedom Too Much?
In breaking “Everyone saw This Coming” news, we learn that Second Amendment Hero George Zimmerman suffered minor injuries in a shooting incident Monday afternoon in Lake Mary, Florida. Lake Mary Police Chief Steve Bracknell said that Zimmerman was not badly hurt in the incident, which apparently involved Zimmerman and one other man. News video shot from a helicopter showed a bullet hole in the passenger-side window of Zimmerman’s pickup. Read more on Somebody Shot George Zimmerman, Let’s Speculate Why…
  Teach us oh white people!

How Are White Wingnuts Fixing The Blacks Of Baltimore This Week?

The cats are cuter than anything you'll read in this post.
Ever since the alleged police murder of Freddie Gray and the rioting that followed, white wingnuts have been trying SO HARD to do something — anything! — to help the poor black communities of Baltimore recover and move on from this tragedy. Because they care so much, honest! Should we cut off their food stamps? Give everybody more guns, so they can Stand Their Ground? Send them all some more Jesus, and good dads like Rand Paul? Well, worry not, because there are still more turd ideas to throw at the wall, so here is this week’s roundup of White Wingnut Wisdom for Baltimorean Blacks! Read more on How Are White Wingnuts Fixing The Blacks Of Baltimore This Week?…
  Won't Someone PLEASE Think of George Zimmerman?

George Zimmerman: God Made Me Do It

Screengrabs are fair use, right? Yeah, pretty sure they are. We can always add a pony so it's parody.
Now that the Justice Department has declared George Zimmerman a swell human being who merely shot and killed Trayvon Martin but didn’t violate his civil rights, Mr. Zimmerman sat down for a spontaneous, not-at-all scripted-sounding interview with his divorce lawyer, Howard Iken, who apparently doesn’t just do divorces, but is also branching out into journalism. Watch out, Terry Gross, Howard Iken is gunning for your time slot! We’d embed the video, but that is Not Allowed; you can view the whole abomination here. Read more on George Zimmerman: God Made Me Do It…
  Florida's own human crime spree strikes again

George Zimmerman Goes With Wine Jug For Lady-Beating, For Variety

here I am in court again!
Do you wish you could read more words about George Zimmerman, Florida’s own human crime spree and killer of unarmed black teenager Trayvon Martin? Has it been too long since you read one month ago about how Zimmerman thinks it would be a good idea for people like him (aka people who like to violence other people on the reg) to buy “self-defense” insurance? You are possibly thinking, “I wonder what George Zimmerman is up to these days, and if has stood his ground at anyone lately,” and if you are thinking that, then today is your lucky day. Read more on George Zimmerman Goes With Wine Jug For Lady-Beating, For Variety…
  Gun Radio: A Radio Show For Guns

George Zimmerman: Be Sure To Buy Your ‘Killing Unarmed Black Kids’ Insurance!

Ready for all comers
George Zimmerman has a lot of free time. His notoriety prevents him from seeking conventional employment, evidently, and he got fired from his last unpaid gig in that the owner of the gun shop he was lurking behind at night for security told him to stop it already. Plus there’s that price on his head. Read more on George Zimmerman: Be Sure To Buy Your ‘Killing Unarmed Black Kids’ Insurance!…
  It's Hard Out There For A Sociopath

George Zimmerman’s Entire Family Oppressed By Internet

Ready for all comers
It’s been a little while since we’ve checked in on the escapades of Completely Innocent Teen-Killer George Zimmerman, at least not since he got fired from his pretend duties as a night watchman at a gun shop that hadn’t invited him to watch it anyway, followed about five seconds later by an alleged incident of gun-waving road rage. Read more on George Zimmerman’s Entire Family Oppressed By Internet…
  Fingering the Perp

George Zimmerman Waving His Penis Substitute Around Again, Because It Is A Day

Don't make George Zimmerman ask you twice.
Well well well, look who else is hoppin’ aboard the “Do You Know Who I Am?” Express! First it was Sarah Palin, and now it’s Neighborhood Watch aspirant George Zimmerman. What do you s’pose Georgy Porgy is up to these days? Guarding more gun stores? Tweeting out Anne Frank quotes? Trying and failing to muzzle the free press? Nope, none of those things! Instead, Zimmerman is asking “Do you know who I am?” in connection to a road rage incident that was reported to 911. Josh ‘n the Gang at TPM have the deets. Read more on George Zimmerman Waving His Penis Substitute Around Again, Because It Is A Day…
  #MadAboutAThing

Very Serious WaPo Journalist Quite Disappointed Obama Hasn’t Fixed Racism Yet

We all remember when silly naive Barack Obama ran for president and announced his plan to single-handedly end racism forever. Oh, you don’t remember that? Funny, that’s how Very Serious Washington Post journalist Chris Cillizza, aka The Fix, remembers it. Read more on Very Serious WaPo Journalist Quite Disappointed Obama Hasn’t Fixed Racism Yet…
  Be More Afraid Please

Evil Stupid Dick Explains Why Michael Brown Deserved To Die

He's a GANGSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, everybody, just stop feeling bad about the police in Ferguson, Missouri, shooting unarmed 18-year-old Michael Brown dead while he had his hands up — Jim Hoft, the Stupidest Man On the Internet, wants you all to know that it’s no big loss, since Michael Brown was a 100% certified GANGSTER who HAD A GUN (maybe, in a Facebook photo of a completely different person — give him time, and Hoft will probably start hinting that Brown had a gun when he was shot, too). While the photo above has been in circulation since shortly after Brown was shot, Our Stupid Hero appears to be the first to jump from “photographed gesturing like a rap gangster” to “was a GANGSTER.” Hoft has since backed off that original headline, of which Chris Johnson at Little Green Footballs wisely archived a copy at Webcitation in case Hoft “tries to edit it without admitting it.” Which Hoft did, of course. Read more on Evil Stupid Dick Explains Why Michael Brown Deserved To Die…
  Things Were Really Looking Up For Ol' Zimm

George Zimmerman Goes On Patrol Again, ‘Guards’ Gun Store For Free, Gets Canned

Guns! Guns! Guns!
So here’s the latest in the epic wanderings of George “Killer But Not A Murderer” Zimmerman: He got a great gig playing Night Watchman for “Pompano Pat’s,” a motorcycle-and-guns shop in DeLand, Florida, the very same gun shop that made some headlines last year when owner Pat Johnson offered Zimmerman a free gun just days after he was acquitted of killing 17-year-old Trayvon Martin. And just to make things interesting, it’s not an actual job, but more of a hobby or something — Pat’s was robbed earlier this month, and then Zimmerman just sort of showed up to sit around outside the store at night, keeping an eye on the place. Read more on George Zimmerman Goes On Patrol Again, ‘Guards’ Gun Store For Free, Gets Canned…
  who mourns for a dimwit?

Stupid Constitution Won’t Let George Zimmerman Sue NBC For Being Mean To George Zimmerman

Poor George Zimmerman just can’t seem to catch a break. Despite his best efforts, there are still people who don’t see him as a hero. Worse, his fledgling career as an artist seems to have stalled out, and while plenty of people might want to punch him right in the nose, he can’t do it for money. And now, he can’t even look forward to taking the LIEberal Media to the cleaners for unfairly editing his 911 call, because his lawsuit against NBC has been tossed. Poor guy. It’s as if the only thing that went well for him was getting away with shooting a black kid to death. As the song asks, is that all there is? Read more on Stupid Constitution Won’t Let George Zimmerman Sue NBC For Being Mean To George Zimmerman…
  suffer little children

Unsurprisingly, David Brat’s Primary Campaign Was Run By A Smug Baby

We knew that David Brat, the literal David to Eric Cantor’s figurative Goliath, would be a source of endless joy and terror for us, but even we didn’t think it would happen so soon. But the very morning after the amazing, stunning upset, one Zachary Werrell, Mr. Brat’s 23-year-old campaign manager and angry toddler, had to do some serious downsizing of his social media presence because of how his Facebook account was pretty much nothing but a cesspool of contrarian bullshit. Read more on Unsurprisingly, David Brat’s Primary Campaign Was Run By A Smug Baby…