Tag: trash

Texas School Latest To Adopt Zero Tolerance Toward Hungry Poor Kids

A Texas elementary school threw out a 6th-grader's reduced-price breakfast Wednesday when the child -- a future thug, because he qualifies for reduced-price meals -- was unable to pay the required 30 cents, even though his mother called the...

Meet The Not-Racist Young Lady Who Called For Assassination Of, Er, Let’s Just Say ‘Black’ President

"I didn't think it'd be that big of a deal," said this spritely lass when confronted with a news crew. Like, why are people all pissing and moaning, and why did she get fired from her job at Cold...

Trash Robot and Dead Actor Honored On Postage Stamps

It's morning in America, for reals this time! The United States has finally honored its favorite sanitation robot that toiled for 800 years cleaning up the Earth after fat slob humans trashed the whole place. That's right, WALL-E is...

Hitchens On the Worthless Washington Novel

Washington novels are terrible, as you maybe noticed if you've ever mistakenly picked up a novel about Washington. Christopher Hitchens has some theories: Can one imagine a Dickens without London or a Zola or Flaubert without Paris? The radix malorum...

Teabaggers Hate Government Trash Collection Now

Teabaggers from Arizona are a special breed and are continually winning the craziest-Teabagger national championship, so it should come as no surprise that they have come out in full force against a town's decision to hire one trash truck...

John McCain’s Twitter Talks Awkwardly To Cancer-Bed Troll

Gross old liebot John McCain, whose entire head is made of skin cancer and bullshit, is having a very important policy discussion with "Snooki," a bright orange dwarf who appeared on a chilling documentary about emotionally challenged adolescents left...

Look At Angelina Jolie’s Four New Adopted Alaskan Children

It's so great that Charlie Sheen is finally getting a platform of his own, you guys! Let's see, what else... If this is somehow the work of Bristol Palin's new acronymic public relations kollective, perhaps everyone underestimated you, Bristol Palin,...

Why Would Sarah Palin Speak At One Big Convention But Not Another?

This sure is queer. Sarah Palin has announced that she will speak at the upcoming National Tea Party Convention but will not speak at or even attend its sudden rival, CPAC. You could argue that it's because the older,...

Meghan McCain Now Threatening To Run Away With Trashy Sturgis Bikers, and She Definitely Should Do This!

Ah, Sturgis ... it's like the "Gathering of the Juggalos" for middle-aged people who saved up enough for a Gold Wing! And the $100-million McCain family just adores acting like they love this dumb populist cretin crap, because, after...

Levi vs. Sarah, TeeVee’s Longest Running Snowbilly Reality Show

This is going to go on forever -- and eventually, it will involve the female participants wrestling in a vat of Taco Bell X-treme ketchup or whatever. Hooray! Now, lest you believe...

McCain Can’t Even Tell Polite Lie About Supporting Palin In 2012

How deeply must you despise your former running mate -- the person you wanted America to accept as a perfectly good and safe president-in-waiting, just a few months ago -- to be unable to fake a quick "Sure I...

Arkansas Legislature Votes Down Resolution Congratulating Obama

It seems that racists still haven't gotten over Barack Obama's election victory, alas. For example: Arkansas. The Arkansas House Committee on State Agencies and Governmental Affairs rejected a standard symbolic resolution congratulating Barack Obama on his historic victory this...

A Children’s Treasury Of Obama Trash

One of two things happened to Washington D.C. this afternoon: (1) Obama's friends the Muslims snuck in one of those dirty bombs they make all the time and blew it up around Constitution and 5th, raining toxic waste debris...

OMG Some Trash Cans Were Full, On Sunday, OBAMA IS A TRAITOR

Too bad they're not filled with Obama's birth certificates, from Moscow, in Saudi Arabia. Please let's have the Supreme Court stop this fraud president before Washington becomes, somehow, filled with garbage!

Whack Job Palin’s Diva Exit From America

As the snow-meth icing on the Baked Alaska of Sarah Palin's hilarious public self-destruction which is also hilariously destroying the the grisly remaining blood-and-gristle bits of the Republican Party, here is how ABC News describes her exit from the...

Palin Troopergate Report Due Friday!

Here's something fun to look forward to, this Friday, other than the End of Capitalism and Electricity or whatever: There's going to be a fun report on that legal investigation into Sarah Palin's "abuse of power" in Alaska, when...