Tag Archives: transgender

  tits on the brain

Mike Huckabee Worried All The Military Ladies Will Want Fancy New Sex Boobies Now

Gonna talk about the female anatomy now.
Mike Huckabee took some time out from smuggling the Jews off Barack Obama’s Iranian Auschwitz train this week to make some more weird comments about boobies. He’s worried that if transgenders get to be in the military and go into battle for our fine nation, then the ladies in the military will be like “UNFAIR, I want a boob job, where’s my boob job?” Because that is a thing all women do, when confronted with the reality of the transgender experience. Here are Huckabee’s mouth words: Read more on Mike Huckabee Worried All The Military Ladies Will Want Fancy New Sex Boobies Now…
  Burning questions

Sen. Jim Inhofe’s Imaginary Friend Dying To Know Where Transgender Troops Will Go Potty

Using this picture because NEVER FORGET LOL
Recently we learned that, since Obama has finished cramming gay marriage into America’s throat, he’s going to cram transgender people into the military, even though they’re already there and have been since forever. And this is posing quite a pickle of a conundrum for this one imaginary 10-year-old buddy of Oklahoma Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-Snowballs). Which pisser will all those transgender people use? Read more on Sen. Jim Inhofe’s Imaginary Friend Dying To Know Where Transgender Troops Will Go Potty…
  When will the gay terrors cease?

Dead Breitbart Real Upset How Gay Rainbow Flag Murdered Those Marines In Chattanooga

The threat is real.
Ever since June 26, the day which will live in infamy, when the Supreme Court gave America the right gay throatcramming she deserved, wingnuts have been observed in various states of utter, pants-shitting meltdown. And much of it, against the backdrop of the death of the Confederate flag, has centered on the gay rainbow, and how it is lynching the good American Christians, and how the White House did a 9/11 to the world when it was lit up in rainbow colors. Truly we are living in tragic days. Read more on Dead Breitbart Real Upset How Gay Rainbow Flag Murdered Those Marines In Chattanooga…
  Little Man Syndrome

Ben Shapiro Files Charges Against Transgender Lady For Making Him Look Like Total Pussy

Ben Shapiro getting his wimp ass owned by a girl.
You may have seen this SHOCK VIDEO rolling around the internets the past couple days, of Breitbart’s never-nude pussy Ben Shapiro arguing with transgender journalist Zoey Tur on the “Dr. Drew On Call” program. It’s a long video, not worth your time, but Shapiro was doing his typical little pissypants bigot thing, talking about how Caitlyn Jenner and Zoey Tur (sitting right next to him) are just men in dresses, referring to her as “sir,” and finally Tur let her anger get the best of her for a second, grabbed Shapiro on his little bitch neck and said, “You cut that out now, or you’ll go home in an ambulance.” NOT NICE! Also, too, Shapiro can’t defend himself, clearly, even though his dad probably gave him that whole talk about “if a bully hits you, you hit them back, son!” Read more on Ben Shapiro Files Charges Against Transgender Lady For Making Him Look Like Total Pussy…
  Bow down bitches

Caitlyn Jenner Is Not Afraid Of You And She Will Beat Your Ass, Backwards, In Heels

Bow down bitches
Wednesday night, Caitlyn Jenner received the Arthur Ashe Courage Award at the ESPYs, and for any activist out there worried about things like “oh, she’s white and rich and privileged and a Republican blah blah blah, who’s going to tell the REAL STORIES?!?!” (looking at you, TWITTER), we think those worries are unfounded. She KILLED IT. She looked stunning in Versace, whether you think she favors Jessica Lange or a healthier Janice Dickinson. And she was very clear about the fact that she understands that with her huge platform comes even huger responsibilities. Read more on Caitlyn Jenner Is Not Afraid Of You And She Will Beat Your Ass, Backwards, In Heels…
  nice time!

Congrats Trans Folk, Obama To Let You Meet Interesting People And Kill Them!

This little guy is very excited about all the civil rights advances lately!
As the old saying goes, “there are no transgenders in foxholes,” but that might have to be updated very soon, to something like “sometimes there are transgenders in foxholes” (which isn’t a good saying, really), because the AP is reporting that “Pentagon leaders are finalizing plans aimed at lifting the ban on transgender individuals serving in the military.” Chris Geidner at Buzzfeed says the announcement could even come Tuesday! Read more on Congrats Trans Folk, Obama To Let You Meet Interesting People And Kill Them!…
  In Which We Fact-Check A Sermon

Fox’s Todd Starnes Will Save America With Smoked Pork Butt, Just Like Jesus

Secret admirer, secret admirer!
Fox News anchor, still-living Christian martyr, and legendary urine-drinker Todd Starnes treated the congregation of Abilene Baptist Church in Augusta, Georgia, to one beautiful “sermon” Sunday, with lots of terrifying examples of just how bad Christians have it in America today. Never mind that it was less a sermon than a collection of half-true stories from his dumb book God Less America — Starnes talked about the imminent government crackdown on faith, and that was all he needed to accomplish. Read more on Fox’s Todd Starnes Will Save America With Smoked Pork Butt, Just Like Jesus…
  let's gossip about the week's top stories

Sarah Palin Declares Independence From Pretending To Be Employed. Your Weekly Top Ten.

THE CUTEST.
Hey Wonkers, happy Fourth of July weekend and shit! Do you need a nap? We sure do! Let’s all snuggle dressed like burritos after we read this post, like Wonkette baby, pictured above. (Did you SEE Editrix’s baby pictures post this morning? If you didn’t, you should go look at it!) Read more on Sarah Palin Declares Independence From Pretending To Be Employed. Your Weekly Top Ten….
  Enraged about all of these things

Here Are 9 Wingnut Reasons For Charleston Murders That Aren’t Spelled R-A-C-I-S-M

What's left to say?
Dylann Storm Roof killed black people because he wanted to kill black people. Roof admitted this! But maybe it’s not about race. Let’s take another trip down Wingnut River to see why Roof’s nine victims — Rev. Clementa Pinckney, Tywanza Sanders, Susie Jackson, Cynthia Hurd, Sharonda Coleman-Singleton, DePayne Middleton-Doctor, Ethel Lee Lance, Myra Thompson, and Rev. Daniel Lee Simmons, Sr. REALLY died. Read more on Here Are 9 Wingnut Reasons For Charleston Murders That Aren’t Spelled R-A-C-I-S-M…
  Rachel Identity

Rachel Dolezal Quits NAACP, Will Continue Fight For Her People, Whoever They Are

Ready for her close-up
Rachel Dolezal, the head of the Spokane, Washington, chapter of the NAACP, has resigned her post after her parents said late last week that she is not so much a black woman as she is White Like They. The whole story has had a lot of people saying, “Huh! That’s weird!” and has resulted in both some fine thinky pieces about how exactly Dolezal got it wrong, as well as some premium stupid about why there’s no such thing as transgender people, because gender and race are exactly the same, and you can’t fake either. And now Rachel Dolezal is well on her way to becoming a footnote in a whole bunch of dissertations. Read more on Rachel Dolezal Quits NAACP, Will Continue Fight For Her People, Whoever They Are…
  dumb

Wingnut Chorus: Fake-Black NAACP Lady Just Like Fake-Lady Caitlyn Jenner, Haw Haw Haw

Welcome to the stupid part of the internet.
So that weird story is going around, about Rachel Dolezal, the head of the Spokane chapter of the NAACP, who may have been pretending to be black for many years, while actually being a white lady from Montana. Most normal people’s reactions to the story have been along the lines of “Huh!” and “That’s weird!” and “Well, I’ll be!” But not wingnuts. Oh no. Because they were led to believe, perhaps by unintentionally negligent parents, that they are “clever” and “good at thinking,” they immediately saw the parallel that flew right over silly liberals’ heads: CAITLYN JENNER! Because, see, Caitlyn is transgender, and now Dolezal is TRANSBLACK, because that’s a thing, you betcha, and all the wingnuts patted themselves on their sweaty grundles, satisfied that they had stuck it to the liberals YET AGIN!, Read more on Wingnut Chorus: Fake-Black NAACP Lady Just Like Fake-Lady Caitlyn Jenner, Haw Haw Haw…
  NSFW because Huckabee

Mike Huckabee Wants You To Know He’s Still Mighty Proud To Be A-Hole

Not sorry one bit
Grinning sack of deep-fried squirrel meat Mike Huckabee is a jerk and a pervert, and he’s damn proud of that, mister. Damn proud. Last week, we learned about his EWWWWWW GROSS fantasies of pretending to be transgender in high school, to sneak into the girls’ locker room and ogle their lady privates, like a pervert, HAW HAW. Read more on Mike Huckabee Wants You To Know He’s Still Mighty Proud To Be A-Hole…
  OPEN YOUR EYES SHEEPLE

Alex Jones: While You Were Staring At Caitlyn Jenner’s Funbags, Obama Grabbed Your Guns

Twitter profile pic strategically placed to hide chemtrails in sky behind her.
Conspiracy theorist extraordinaire Alex Jones always has his finger on the prostate of The Real Story that everybody’s missing, if people could only OPEN THEIR EYES! Lately, Jones has been working to reassure Texans that no, Walmart is not building secret tunnels so the Chinese can come in and kill everybody, because that distracts from the REAL STORY, which is FEMA camps and martial law, or something along those lines. But he took a break on his show Tuesday, to rant and rave about all YOU SHEEPLE, spending your entire day transfixed by Caitlyn Jenner’s sex boobies, when Barack Obama is clearly in your house right now, prying your guns out of your cold, distracted hands. Read more on Alex Jones: While You Were Staring At Caitlyn Jenner’s Funbags, Obama Grabbed Your Guns…
  Trigger warning for Mike Huckabee's fantasies

Mike Huckabee’s Secret Trans Fantasy: High School Sex Boobies For Everyone!

Let us tell you our sex fantasies.
Hahaha, you know what’s funny, you guys? Transgender people! At least, if you are Mike Huckabee or any of the dildo-brained malcontents who respect him. Back in February, Huckabee spoke to the National Religious Broadcasters Convention, but WorldNetDaily just uploaded the video to its YouTube account, so now we get to see it! Huckabee’s speech was about, of course, “religious freedom!” and how Christianity is under attack from all corners. And of course, some of those attackers are transgender people, who would like to use the restroom please. Of course, since Huckabee and like-minded wingnuts are equal parts stupid and bigoted, the scientific reality of transgender people is reduced to “I wanna pretend I’m a lady so I can go in the girls’ locker room and see the boobies!” Read more on Mike Huckabee’s Secret Trans Fantasy: High School Sex Boobies For Everyone!…
  The poor dears

Caitlyn Jenner Making Wingnuts Feel Shame Tingles In Their No-No Parts

Your reaction to this picture says more about you than it says about Caitlyn Jenner.
Monday, Caitlyn Jenner revealed her transition to the world on the cover of Vanity Fair. Known up to that point as Bruce Jenner, male Olympian and Kardashian-adjacent person, she told her story to journalist Buzz Bissinger, while Annie Leibovitz supplied the pictures. Most people said things like “Wow, she looks beautiful!” and “Good for her!” and, in the case of badass trans actress Laverne Cox, “Yasss Gawd! Werk Caitlyn! Get it!” (Cox also said many other important things, read it.) Read more on Caitlyn Jenner Making Wingnuts Feel Shame Tingles In Their No-No Parts…
  He sure stepped into a big puddle of Santorum this time!

Rick Santorum Sorry For Saying Nice Thing About Bruce Jenner, Swears He Didn’t Mean It

Can't go wrong with the classics
Frothy hater of erotic freedom Rick Santorum surprised a lot of people this weekend when he said that Bruce Jenner, who revealed in a widely watched interview with Diane Sawyer that he (that is the pronoun Jenner has requested for now, so preemptively shut up, thanks) is transgender and identifies as a woman, is deserving of human compassion and respect, and that we should take Jenner at his word. Is this the Santorum we know and loathe? Did he fall down and hit his head? What are these compassionate words he is saying??? Read more on Rick Santorum Sorry For Saying Nice Thing About Bruce Jenner, Swears He Didn’t Mean It…