Tag Archives: transgender

  Because "reasons"

South Dakota Republicans Want To Sneak A Peek Inside Teen Athletes’ Pants

Republicans are ON IT Once again proving the age-old axiom that sex-bigot Republicans are actually sex-obsessed perverts, South Dakota state Rep. Roger Hunt has a fun proposal to prevent the scourge of transgender high school students playing for the wrong team, if you know what we mean: Read more on South Dakota Republicans Want To Sneak A Peek Inside Teen Athletes’ Pants…
  LOL OOPS

Kentucky Clerk Lady Already Going To Hell

The ones who led Kim Davis into sin
Oh, Kim Davis, clerk of Rowan County, Kentucky, all your fighting has been for naught! Your constant refusals to do marriage licenses for same-sex couples, even though the Supreme Court ruled for marriage equality and a federal judge and your governor have both TOLD YOU to do your fucking job? Wasted. Your pathetic attempts to appeal to higher courts, based on bad advice you’ve gotten from bad lawyers at the Liberty Counsel? Well, those were already dumb, since the 6th Circuit told you to get bent, and now you’re appealing to the Supreme Court, which will also tell you to get bent. But even if you somehow were to win, you have ALREADY violated your Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs, without your knowledge, and according to what you probably believe, this means that your loving savior Jesus Christ will roast you in the fires of hell for all eternity, and why? Read more on Kentucky Clerk Lady Already Going To Hell…
  Medical advice from a divorce lawyer

Fox Chick Certain All The Man Prisoners Will Want Hoo-Has Now

She's not a doctor, but...
You know that thing when a transgender person gets gender reassignment surgery, and everybody at Show And Tell is like “ooh, me too, this is the next hottest thing, gender reassignment surgery, MOOOOOOOMMMM, why does Jessa get gender reassignment surgery and I don’t, I HATE YOU!” You don’t? Guess you’re not a Fox News idiot then, because it is a thing, and it’s going to be a real problem in prison. Read more on Fox Chick Certain All The Man Prisoners Will Want Hoo-Has Now…
  Unless you are a boy or a transgender!

Nevada Rep. Michele Fiore Has Girl Parts On Her Nakedness Area, And So Should You!

STAY OFF HER NAKEDNESS AREA, YOU TRANSGENDERS.
STAY OFF HER NAKEDNESS AREA, YOU TRANSGENDERS. Nevada Assemblywoman Michele Fiore is always reliable when you want a, shall we say, UNIQUE take on the events of the day. Like, remember that time she figured out how to end sex trafficking for all of time, by getting all the local pimps fixed? Well, she’s got balls on the brain again, specifically the transgender kind, because she’s real worried she’s going to go into the locker room at the gym someday and come face to face with a transgender lady what still has male parts, and she will have to look at a penis, and the penis-haver will have to look at her vagina, and there they will stand, staring at each others’ genitals, having completely forgotten to take a shower. Read more on Nevada Rep. Michele Fiore Has Girl Parts On Her Nakedness Area, And So Should You!…
  tits on the brain

Mike Huckabee Worried All The Military Ladies Will Want Fancy New Sex Boobies Now

Gonna talk about the female anatomy now.
Mike Huckabee took some time out from smuggling the Jews off Barack Obama’s Iranian Auschwitz train this week to make some more weird comments about boobies. He’s worried that if transgenders get to be in the military and go into battle for our fine nation, then the ladies in the military will be like “UNFAIR, I want a boob job, where’s my boob job?” Because that is a thing all women do, when confronted with the reality of the transgender experience. Here are Huckabee’s mouth words: Read more on Mike Huckabee Worried All The Military Ladies Will Want Fancy New Sex Boobies Now…
  Burning questions

Sen. Jim Inhofe’s Imaginary Friend Dying To Know Where Transgender Troops Will Go Potty

Using this picture because NEVER FORGET LOL
Recently we learned that, since Obama has finished cramming gay marriage into America’s throat, he’s going to cram transgender people into the military, even though they’re already there and have been since forever. And this is posing quite a pickle of a conundrum for this one imaginary 10-year-old buddy of Oklahoma Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-Snowballs). Which pisser will all those transgender people use? Read more on Sen. Jim Inhofe’s Imaginary Friend Dying To Know Where Transgender Troops Will Go Potty…
  When will the gay terrors cease?

Dead Breitbart Real Upset How Gay Rainbow Flag Murdered Those Marines In Chattanooga

The threat is real.
Ever since June 26, the day which will live in infamy, when the Supreme Court gave America the right gay throatcramming she deserved, wingnuts have been observed in various states of utter, pants-shitting meltdown. And much of it, against the backdrop of the death of the Confederate flag, has centered on the gay rainbow, and how it is lynching the good American Christians, and how the White House did a 9/11 to the world when it was lit up in rainbow colors. Truly we are living in tragic days. Read more on Dead Breitbart Real Upset How Gay Rainbow Flag Murdered Those Marines In Chattanooga…
  Little Man Syndrome

Ben Shapiro Files Charges Against Transgender Lady For Making Him Look Like Total Pussy

Ben Shapiro getting his wimp ass owned by a girl.
You may have seen this SHOCK VIDEO rolling around the internets the past couple days, of Breitbart’s never-nude pussy Ben Shapiro arguing with transgender journalist Zoey Tur on the “Dr. Drew On Call” program. It’s a long video, not worth your time, but Shapiro was doing his typical little pissypants bigot thing, talking about how Caitlyn Jenner and Zoey Tur (sitting right next to him) are just men in dresses, referring to her as “sir,” and finally Tur let her anger get the best of her for a second, grabbed Shapiro on his little bitch neck and said, “You cut that out now, or you’ll go home in an ambulance.” NOT NICE! Also, too, Shapiro can’t defend himself, clearly, even though his dad probably gave him that whole talk about “if a bully hits you, you hit them back, son!” Read more on Ben Shapiro Files Charges Against Transgender Lady For Making Him Look Like Total Pussy…
  Bow down bitches

Caitlyn Jenner Is Not Afraid Of You And She Will Beat Your Ass, Backwards, In Heels

Bow down bitches
Wednesday night, Caitlyn Jenner received the Arthur Ashe Courage Award at the ESPYs, and for any activist out there worried about things like “oh, she’s white and rich and privileged and a Republican blah blah blah, who’s going to tell the REAL STORIES?!?!” (looking at you, TWITTER), we think those worries are unfounded. She KILLED IT. She looked stunning in Versace, whether you think she favors Jessica Lange or a healthier Janice Dickinson. And she was very clear about the fact that she understands that with her huge platform comes even huger responsibilities. Read more on Caitlyn Jenner Is Not Afraid Of You And She Will Beat Your Ass, Backwards, In Heels…
  nice time!

Congrats Trans Folk, Obama To Let You Meet Interesting People And Kill Them!

This little guy is very excited about all the civil rights advances lately!
As the old saying goes, “there are no transgenders in foxholes,” but that might have to be updated very soon, to something like “sometimes there are transgenders in foxholes” (which isn’t a good saying, really), because the AP is reporting that “Pentagon leaders are finalizing plans aimed at lifting the ban on transgender individuals serving in the military.” Chris Geidner at Buzzfeed says the announcement could even come Tuesday! Read more on Congrats Trans Folk, Obama To Let You Meet Interesting People And Kill Them!…
  In Which We Fact-Check A Sermon

Fox’s Todd Starnes Will Save America With Smoked Pork Butt, Just Like Jesus

Secret admirer, secret admirer!
Fox News anchor, still-living Christian martyr, and legendary urine-drinker Todd Starnes treated the congregation of Abilene Baptist Church in Augusta, Georgia, to one beautiful “sermon” Sunday, with lots of terrifying examples of just how bad Christians have it in America today. Never mind that it was less a sermon than a collection of half-true stories from his dumb book God Less America — Starnes talked about the imminent government crackdown on faith, and that was all he needed to accomplish. Read more on Fox’s Todd Starnes Will Save America With Smoked Pork Butt, Just Like Jesus…
  let's gossip about the week's top stories

Sarah Palin Declares Independence From Pretending To Be Employed. Your Weekly Top Ten.

THE CUTEST.
Hey Wonkers, happy Fourth of July weekend and shit! Do you need a nap? We sure do! Let’s all snuggle dressed like burritos after we read this post, like Wonkette baby, pictured above. (Did you SEE Editrix’s baby pictures post this morning? If you didn’t, you should go look at it!) Read more on Sarah Palin Declares Independence From Pretending To Be Employed. Your Weekly Top Ten….
  Enraged about all of these things

Here Are 9 Wingnut Reasons For Charleston Murders That Aren’t Spelled R-A-C-I-S-M

They call themselves His People. Weird.
Dylann Storm Roof killed black people because he wanted to kill black people. Roof admitted this! But maybe it’s not about race. Let’s take another trip down Wingnut River to see why Roof’s nine victims — Rev. Clementa Pinckney, Tywanza Sanders, Susie Jackson, Cynthia Hurd, Sharonda Coleman-Singleton, DePayne Middleton-Doctor, Ethel Lee Lance, Myra Thompson, and Rev. Daniel Lee Simmons, Sr. REALLY died. Read more on Here Are 9 Wingnut Reasons For Charleston Murders That Aren’t Spelled R-A-C-I-S-M…
  Rachel Identity

Rachel Dolezal Quits NAACP, Will Continue Fight For Her People, Whoever They Are

Ready for her close-up
Rachel Dolezal, the head of the Spokane, Washington, chapter of the NAACP, has resigned her post after her parents said late last week that she is not so much a black woman as she is White Like They. The whole story has had a lot of people saying, “Huh! That’s weird!” and has resulted in both some fine thinky pieces about how exactly Dolezal got it wrong, as well as some premium stupid about why there’s no such thing as transgender people, because gender and race are exactly the same, and you can’t fake either. And now Rachel Dolezal is well on her way to becoming a footnote in a whole bunch of dissertations. Read more on Rachel Dolezal Quits NAACP, Will Continue Fight For Her People, Whoever They Are…
  dumb

Wingnut Chorus: Fake-Black NAACP Lady Just Like Fake-Lady Caitlyn Jenner, Haw Haw Haw

Welcome to the stupid part of the internet.
So that weird story is going around, about Rachel Dolezal, the head of the Spokane chapter of the NAACP, who may have been pretending to be black for many years, while actually being a white lady from Montana. Most normal people’s reactions to the story have been along the lines of “Huh!” and “That’s weird!” and “Well, I’ll be!” But not wingnuts. Oh no. Because they were led to believe, perhaps by unintentionally negligent parents, that they are “clever” and “good at thinking,” they immediately saw the parallel that flew right over silly liberals’ heads: CAITLYN JENNER! Because, see, Caitlyn is transgender, and now Dolezal is TRANSBLACK, because that’s a thing, you betcha, and all the wingnuts patted themselves on their sweaty grundles, satisfied that they had stuck it to the liberals YET AGIN!, Read more on Wingnut Chorus: Fake-Black NAACP Lady Just Like Fake-Lady Caitlyn Jenner, Haw Haw Haw…
  NSFW because Huckabee

Mike Huckabee Wants You To Know He’s Still Mighty Proud To Be A-Hole

Not sorry one bit
Grinning sack of deep-fried squirrel meat Mike Huckabee is a jerk and a pervert, and he’s damn proud of that, mister. Damn proud. Last week, we learned about his EWWWWWW GROSS fantasies of pretending to be transgender in high school, to sneak into the girls’ locker room and ogle their lady privates, like a pervert, HAW HAW. Read more on Mike Huckabee Wants You To Know He’s Still Mighty Proud To Be A-Hole…