Wonkette

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Barack Obama addressed a packed crowd at Cooper Union today in order to address head on a very difficult subject for most Americans: the economy. It’s a sore point, a source of lingering bitterness, resentment, and misunderstanding for many; and St. Barack of Obama has taken it upon himself to clear the air once and for all by addressing the American people as adults. MORE »

Extreme Mortman bravely brought our attention to last night’s “Larry King Live,” which is apparently still being broadcast on CNN. After reading and re-reading the excerpt about “weird mustard” (wasabi) and “green stuff there” (chives) and “peas” (capers), we had to go waste 15 minutes going through the entire absurd transcript, just to bring you this priceless exchange from the end of the program: MORE »

New Defense Secretary Robert Gates is scheduled to come back from Iraq today, after learning from our commanders and troops on the ground how to pretend to win more effectively. Judging by this transcript of his breakfast meeting, we’re not sure if he’ll much to report back. MORE »

Still at the office? Perfect! Print up all 104 pages of the famous Mark Foley Maf54 instant messenger transcripts and read them aloud at your holiday party! MORE »

Please imagine that you just tuned into this conversation between Larry King and Barbara Walters.

KING: More women than men?
WALTERS: I’d have to add them up, one, two, three, four, four out of nine, no probably more men than women. MORE »