Tag: traitors

myfriends, my friends, my friends..FIVE AND A HLAF YEARS, ALAN!

‘Oath Keepers’ Militia Loons Pretty Sure John McCain Needs To Be Executed For Being Tortured

A rightwing militia group is certain that a recording of John McCain's 1969 forced confession proves he needs to be executed for treason. Protip: "patriot" groups who want to overthrow the government give lousy legal advice.

In Which My Husband Takes Vicious, Belated Pleasure In General Sherman’s March To The Sea

There was a methy, crunchy-faced man in the gas station, glaring fire at us. My husband let his testosterone rise, ready to strike like a viper, should the need arise, at the man he contemptuously described as "what all...
Bye, fucker!

New Orleans Kills Confederate Traitors All Over Again

Ever since the horrific murders in Charleston, South Carolina, of nine black churchgoers by a young radicalized white supremacist named Dylann Roof, civilized places throughout the great American South have been looking at their Confederate relics and deciding them's ugly and dumb....

Have Yourselves A Merry Confederate Christmas, In Hell!

Christmas, as we all know, is a time of joy, goodfellowship, and political score settling, as exemplified by the cheery Christmas card sent to fellow Republicans by South Carolina state Rep. Chris Corley to remind them that God will...
Seems appropriate for this post.

Alabama Secessionist Rally Was Hilarious Failure. Please Point And Laugh

If you woke up this morning thinking, "Golly gee, I sure do hope Alabama's secessionist movement is going well, because fuck them is why," BAD NEWS. There was a rally in the state capital of Montgomery, and NOBODY SHOWED...
ISIS cake spokesmodel

Confederate Loser Buys Delicious ISIS Cake From Walmart Bakery, Doesn’t Eat It

Gather 'round, little children, for we have a heartwarming story about Walmart, ISIS, cake, and this one Louisiana dumbass named Chuck Netzhammer, who is very sad about how America is stomping all over his beloved traitor Confederate flag. So,...

Calm, Judicious Tea Partier Seeks Total Recall Of Traitor Muslim-Lover John McCain

O HAI JOHN MCCAIN! Sometimes you seem to understand that your party (AND YOU) have thrown in your lot with a bunch of neo-Nazi troglodytes of terror. And then usually you go right back to cynically exploiting these dumb...

Jesse Ventura Announces He Will Turn Into A Mexican

America's second-most favorite whackadoodle ex-governor Jesse Ventura (whose crazy gave Minnesota such a hangover it then elected Tim Pawlenty) managed to gather enough bored reporters together to formally announce that he tragically lost his important lawsuit trying to get...

So What Did Obama *Really* Sign Today, To Destroy America?

The White House rushed out a Flickr picture of Obama signing this awful thing, because everybody really wants that for their smartphone wallpaper or whatever, before they throw away the smartphone because who can afford such things? But what...

Nine GOP Senators Agree To Be Nuked By Russia

The eighth and ninth Republican traitor-senators have been revealed! Lamar Alexander and Bob Corker now say they'll back the START nuclear treaty with the Soviet Union, and which requires the United States of America to have a few less...

Degenerate Blogger-Person Steals Last American Job

Hello Wonkette readers! Your Comics Curmudgeon has had a good time also being your sometime morning editor, this year! But just as a "Realdoll" is not a substitute for human companionship, even the most personally fulfilling blogging...

Bob Inglis Totally In On Zionist-Bilderberger-Space Lizard Conspiracy

Remember, Bob Inglis, the really quite conservative South Carolina Congressman (93 percent rating from the American Conservative Union!) who was absolutely obliterated in his primary this year by some Tea Party loony toon? Remember how he whined afterwards...

Ben Nelson Is 100% Democrat, Except When It Comes To Voting For Things

Good ol' Ben Nelson is liberal America's favorite Democrat to hate, when they aren't hating semi-Democrat Joe Lieberman for general douchebaggery, or Obama for failing at everything they hoped for him all the time. Well, did you think...

Liveblogging Barack Obama’s Televised Assault of Ex-Gen. McChrystal

UPDATE: MCCHRYSTAL IS FIRED. PETRAEUS REPLACES HIM. If George Washington was still commander in chief, Stanley McChrystal would be swinging from the gallows today. But no, we've got Barack Obama, who has to have scheduled meetings with everybody, while...

Michele Bachmann’s Husband (!) Super Upset Over F-Word Used On Sign Somewhere

Having called for armed revolution against America's democratically elected government, duck-faced sociopath Michele Bachmann truly exemplifies mature political discourse. This is why her alleged husband just put his name on a Bachmann 4 Congress fund-raising email, because the staffer...

Is There a *Reason* Why Terrorist South Carolina Has a Muslim Flag?

South Carolina is filled with traitors -- traitors who literally started a war with the United States, because we would not let them keep the vast majority of their population as chattel slaves. And the people of this bog-state...