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Washington DC To Be Destroyed By Nuclear Weapon (Summit)
Here’s a little map of Washington D.C. having a heart attack and dying. It will do this next Monday and Tuesday for President McGayertron’s precious summit on what else, nukes, where 40+ world leaders are coming to talk about nukes (except Bibi Netanyahu, because then he might have to admit that his country has lots [...]
New Study Proves It: No Work Means No Traffic
Some math wizards down in Texas have come to an incredible conclusion: What with 6.5 million lost jobs since this Hellcession began, there’s less rush-hour traffic. HEY THAT ALMOST MAKES A CRAZY KIND OF SENSE. But the news isn’t all good.
Dirty Traffic Signs Too Dirty For Local Media
Hey DC-area commuters, help us out! We hear that two of them roadside “Expect delays now until forever due to construction”-type electronical signs were HACKED by HAXXORS, and displayed vulgar words to drivers this morning. (The signs are on the Virginia side of the Key Bridge and on eastbound Hain Bridge Road at the George [...]
Nerds Complain Jocks Get Special Treatment
Local athletics club the Washington Nationals is getting “special treatment” from DC, as the city has agreed to pay to keep the Metro running late if baseball games run late. No word yet on whether the same applies if games just feel like they’re taking forever. [DC Examiner]
Nation’s Ten Worst Traffic Nightmares, Fragile Bridges, And Crumbling Dams
DC Traffic Finally Solved!
Metro Section: Christina Ricci is the Opposite of Sex
Metro Section: Martha Dumptruck
Metro Section: T&A is A-OK
Metro Section: It Doesn’t Work Unless You Put a Rag in the Tailpipe
Metro Section: Slow It Down
Metro Section: Circumstantial at Best
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