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Tag: traffic

Jon Stewart Points And Laughs At Atlanta’s 2 Inches, ‘Bad Boy Journalist’ Thinks Seasons Disprove Climate Change

The Atlanta snowstorm spawned many Larger Points, from the incompetence of local -- or all -- government to Internet Opinion about climate change (real/bogus/not involved). Jon Stewart notes that "weather forecasts" could have helped Atlanta, and rightwing pundit...

Chris Christie A Petty, Vengeful Monster, Part Infinity, Section Fort Lee Lane Closures, Subsection Amateur Hour

NorthJersey.com, what did you bring for Show & Tell today? Oh wow! That looks like an email from a top Christie aide that says "Time for some traffic problems in Fort Lee" (pdf). Class, what do we think about this email?...

Washington DC To Be Destroyed By Nuclear Weapon (Summit)

Here's a little map of Washington D.C. having a heart attack and dying. It will do this next Monday and Tuesday for President McGayertron's precious summit on what else, nukes, where 40+ world leaders are coming to talk about...

New Study Proves It: No Work Means No Traffic

Some math wizards down in Texas have come to an incredible conclusion: What with 6.5 million lost jobs since this Hellcession began, there's less rush-hour traffic. HEY THAT ALMOST MAKES A CRAZY KIND OF SENSE. But the news isn't...

Dirty Traffic Signs Too Dirty For Local Media

Hey DC-area commuters, help us out! We hear that two of them roadside "Expect delays now until forever due to construction"-type electronical signs were HACKED by HAXXORS, and displayed vulgar words to drivers this morning. (The signs are on...

Nerds Complain Jocks Get Special Treatment

Local athletics club the Washington Nationals is getting "special treatment" from DC, as the city has agreed to pay to keep the Metro running late if baseball games run late. No word yet on whether the same applies if...

DC Traffic Finally Solved!

Metro Section: Martha Dumptruck

Metro Section: T&A is A-OK

Metro Section: Slow It Down