Tag: track palin

Beautiful New Republican Convention Just Falling Apart At The Seams

Tim Tebow and Ivanka's rabbi will not be there, hopefully Andy Wisp is still coming.

Sarah Palin Spills Boone’s Farm In Rage Over Lyin’ Hillary’s Email Tyranny

Guys, we don't think Sarah Palin is real happy with the FBI's decision not to recommend indictment for Hillary.

Looks Like God Made An Honest Woman Out Of Bristol Palin LOL

Is she pregnant? We are just assuming yes.
Portrait of the idiot in her natural surroundings.

Brawlin’ Bristol Palin Wishes ‘Battered’ Breitbart Chick Would Grow Some Stones

Bristol Palin rolled out of bed around 2 in the afternoon, noticed a lump under the covers and wondered if the angel Gabriel had drunk-sexted another gift from God up into her Alaskan Shame Cavern. "Eh, pretty much like...
No sir, she doesn't like it!

Sarah Palin Will Be Half-Term TV Judge Of Whether He Wrong For That Or You Just Hatin’

Sarah Palin is a planner. Do you know how you're going to be grifting off your mouthbreathing fans in the fall of 2017? Sarah Palin does, dontcha know, because she's got #billz to pay. And Sarah knows, from all her...
Turn that poo-face upside down, Sarah.

Half-Term Governor Says Half-Term Senator Too Inexperienced To Be Half-Term President

Shut the front door right now, Sarah Palin, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Oh, we see, your moose chili bubbleth over with rage over that inexperienced "half-term" Canadian-Cuban Senator Ted Cruz, because he was mean to stupid Trump supporters...

Hillary Clinton And Ted Cruz Go To The Olive Garden With Satan. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Guten Morgen, Wonkers, WTF does that headline even mean? Did Hillary Clinton and Ted Cruz actually have a caucus with Satan at the Olive Garden and that's how she winned all those coin flips in the Iowa caucuses? Ted...
DON'T PUT WORD SALAD IN HER MOUTH.

Sarah Palin: Only A Idiot Would Blame Her Son’s Drunken Girlfriend-Beating On The President

Congratulations, Sarah Palin, you talked to the nice people at the "Today Show" for five whole minutes Monday and managed to do TWO major stupids. First you were saying people are mean to judge Donald Trump for not being...
Oh look, Wonkette Baby is watching her first playoff game!

Sarah Palin Had A Crappy Week, Dontcha Know? Your Weekly Top Ten.

Good morning, Wonke-RINOS. Haha just kidding, you are not RINOs, you are not even Republicans, pfffffft. (Unless you are, in which case have we met?) Anyway, it is time for us to put liquor in our Saturday morning coffee...

White House: Sarah Palin Might Be A Idiot, But Domestic Violence Is Serious Business

Wednesday afternoon, Sarah Palin explained that her son Track beated up his girlfriend because Barack Obama gave him PTSD. At the time, we said, "OMG WTF ARE YOU GODDAMNED KIDDING US, SARAH?" (Or something like that, with a lot...
To be sure, the gay bears tend not to be too overt at mosques

American Hero Heads To Prison For Threatening To Kill Muslims Because Fox News Told Him To

A man in La Mesa, California, was sentenced Wednesday after pleading guilty last year to leaving voicemails threatening to shoot employees of the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR). He has a really good excuse, though: the Fox News made him...

Sarah Palin: It’s Obama’s Fault My Drunk Son Punched His Girlfriend, For America

Good news! Sarah Palin recovered from Tuesday's hangover just in time to make it to Donald Trump's afternoon rally in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Bad news? Sarah Palin made it to the rally and opened her mouth, and this is what came out...
Black coffee, she needs black coffee. Or another cocktail.

Sarah Palin Probably Had Good Hangover, We Mean Reason, For Quitting On Trump Rally

If your name is Sarah Mama Grizzly Moosedick Palin, you have been a busy little worker bee the past 24 hours! You went on an airplane to Iowa, all the way from up there in Alaska; you got a...

How Drunk Was Sarah Palin, On A Scale Of Burp To In Jail With Her Son Track?

Did you watch that? Are you wondering what the hell it was and if perhaps you hallucinated it because dear lord, that cannot be real? It was real. It happened. Sarah Palin took the stage Tuesday night to endorse Donald Trump fer...
Where's Track? IN JAIL MAYBE?

Track Palin Got Drunk And Beated Up A Lady With His Gun, Allegedly

What a busy day for the Palin family! Sarah's in Iowa making drunk faces about Makin' America Great Again for Donald Trump, Bristol's sitting at home COVERED in out-of-wedlock baby poo and "writing" internet letters about what a dick...
She's all out of makeup, frankly.

2014: The Year Bristol Palin And Her Mom, Ol’ Whatsername, Made All Our Dreams Come True

There's this lady, Sarah Palin, you wouldn't know her. She flitted through the public consciousness for a hot minute in 2008, and then was never heard from again. Haha, spoiler alert, yes she was. We're sorry. But aside from...