John McCain: The Panamanian Mexican Geezer Americans Have Been Waiting For
Friday, March 28th, 2008
John McCain has made a new ad, for some reason. Much like his outer space web video, it features some gravelly voiceover guy and classical music, like a Lexis commercial. Then it shows the standard clip of McCain being tortured — isn’t it odd that they have film of this? — and ends with a fittingly classy line: “John McCain: The American president Americans have been waiting for.” Well what in the hell could that mean about Barack Obama? Figure it out, smart guys. [YouTube]
John McCain has made a new ad, for some reason. Much like his outer space web video, it features some gravelly voiceover guy and classical music, like a Lexis commercial. Then it shows the standard clip of McCain being tortured — isn’t it odd that they have film of this? — and ends with a fittingly classy line: “John McCain: The American president Americans have been waiting for.” Well what in the hell could that mean about Barack Obama? Figure it out, smart guys. [YouTube]










John McCain is pushing hard these days to become the President of Torture. In a new web video, McCain and his Navy buddies talk for four minutes about how he was tortured. And his lovely mother Roberta says that when she learned John was a P.O.W., it was the best news she’d ever heard. After four minutes of TORTURE TORTURE BLOOD PULP TORTURE, the idea is clear: this never happened to Barack Obama at all. Check it out below, you hateful liberal Democrats.
Thanks for the e-mail, WALNUTS!, but do you know this man? This Mike… Mike “Christian”? Like Jesus, he probably doesn’t exist. But if John McCain wants me to vote for Mike Christian as a write-in candidate then sure, why not? That’s the only reason he would bring up Mike Christian’s story in one of his e-mails, correct?
Hey look, it’s one of those days with a guest editor, because the real editor is doing something else! Wonkette’s comic book and foreign affairs correspondent Josh Fruhlinger will be filling in for Ken Layne today. Anything could happen!
The Los Angeles Times
Mike Huckabee continued to spread his subliminal floating Christmas cheer in Iowa today by telling supporters that Guantanamo Bay is one helluva good time. Specifically, it’s “too nice”! And he would know because he’s been there and is now a goddamn expert. Thanks for the news, motherfuckabee! We wouldn’t know, because all of the tapes have been destroyed.