Tag Archives: torture

  Hot Cop Dana Perino gonna arrest Planned Parenthood

Fox Genius Dana Perino Real Upset People Hate Torture More Than They Love Babies

Oh look, here is former George W. Bush spokesditz and current Fox Blonde Dana Perino, doing a dumb on the teevee again. Yes, again. What crawled up her butt and died this time? Did her husband get arrested some more? No, it’s The Media (stupid media, you stupids!), of which she is definitely not a member, even though she is on a show called “The Five,” on Fox News, which supposedly does news and is therefore The Media, so what the flippity fuck is she even blah-blahing about? She is all riled up because no one in The Media is covering these bogus sting videos of Planned Parenthood at all, which you probably haven’t heard about because The Media refuses to report on them (five million different ways), and which, according to dumb dick cohost Fox Guy are EVEN WORSE than those terrible videos of ISIS beheadings. Seriously. Read more on Fox Genius Dana Perino Real Upset People Hate Torture More Than They Love Babies…
  Detainees: They Can't Be Beat

Senate Votes To End Torture, Not That We Ever Did That

An elegant enhanced interrogation method from a more civilized age
As we know, the United States of America does not torture people. George Bush said we didn’t, and then Barack Obama officially ended it with an executive order, mostly, and then last fall the Senate released its report on all the torture that didn’t happen, and on Tuesday, the U.S. Senate voted to outlaw torture, which America has never done, but now we’ll really not do it ever again. Unless we decide we need to, maybe. But we almost certainly won’t, because we never have. Even though it works, and we like it! Read more on Senate Votes To End Torture, Not That We Ever Did That…
  it was the worst of times it was the worst of times

CIA Learned Hottest Torture Tricks From American Psychological Association

From the shores of the Pacific to the Singing Statesmen of DC, the “War On Terror” really brought out the best in us, didn’t it? Now we can add the American Psychological Association (APA) to the list of willingly terrible participants. According to the New York Times, the world’s largest association of psychologists worked hand-in-puffy-soft-hand with the CIA and Bush Administration to formulate an ethical and legal basis for all the fun torturing. Read more on CIA Learned Hottest Torture Tricks From American Psychological Association…
  pray the concussions away

Allen West Can Keep Football Players From Getting Hurt, Just By Saying A Little Prayer!

Is there nothing this man CANNOT fail at, we mean do?
Allen West, the Guardian of the Republic vile, disgraced torture fetishist and congressional race-loser who is also a creepazoid sex pervert, took some time off from those activities recently to discuss football injuries, and the best way to prevent them. No, it is not about padding or anything like that, it is prayer! You see, Allen West played football in high school, so he is an expert. Speaking to a wingnut group in Texas, West explained that back in HIS day, they made sure to pray before every single game, and because of that, he doesn’t remember ANYBODY getting injured or paralyzed. Read more on Allen West Can Keep Football Players From Getting Hurt, Just By Saying A Little Prayer!…
  Tales of Terror

Journey Into Madness: Playboy Interviews Dick Cheney

At the McClean (Virginia) of Madness
The weak light of my sputtering candle guided my descent down the stone steps. In the glow I could read the ancient runes carved in the walls, but of the ancient terrors inscribed there I must not speak.  At the bottom I emerged into a cavern, its dimensions unknowable in the darkness. There was a phosphorous scent like none I had smelled before. From out of the gloaming, an unearthly chuckle beckoned me near. Read more on Journey Into Madness: Playboy Interviews Dick Cheney…
  We Have Always Been At War With Climate Science

House GOP Posts SOTU Video With Climate Stuff Magically Erased

The transcript also appears to have been altered
Here’s a fun little bit of political ratfucking (not really, it’s totally an accident!): When the House Republican website posted a version of Tuesday’s State of the Union address, with Republican talking points popping up to reply to each point President Obama made, the posted version of the speech left out at least two significant portions of the speech, deleting almost everything about global warming: Read more on House GOP Posts SOTU Video With Climate Stuff Magically Erased…
  Get [REDACTED]!

CIA Lady Was Worst Spy Ever, Got Promoted To King Of Torture

Not that the CIA was as competent about these guys
Just when we’d thought we’d heard all the worst from the Senate’s report on the CIA’s torture program, along comes even more. Not only did the CIA do some pretty horrific stuff that violated the law without gaining any significant intelligence, it also turns out that one of the key players in the program appears to have been stunningly bad at her job — and kept getting promoted. In fact, it appears that her dismal performance was one reason for the CIA’s refusal to allow the Intelligence Committee report to identify people by pseudonym: It would have made it too easy to recognize that one top official had screwed up again and again. Read more on CIA Lady Was Worst Spy Ever, Got Promoted To King Of Torture…
  Grey Lady To Be Renditioned To Black Site

New York Times Calls For Extradition Of Dick Cheney To Any Planet With A Justice System

The New York Times editorial board ran an editorial Monday calling for the prosecution of those who ran the CIA’s torture program, proving that they are a bunch of hopeless romantics who believe in justice. They aren’t especially hopeful, noting that President Obama has shown virtually no interest in actually prosecuting anyone for torturing some folks, but bless them, they make the case anyway: Read more on New York Times Calls For Extradition Of Dick Cheney To Any Planet With A Justice System…
  Rick Santorum Saw This Coming

Do Not Click On This Story About Rumored CIA-Detainee Rape By Dogs. Really, Don’t.

Please don't send me to the Bad Kennel!
We’re not sure what’s more depressing about this story alleging that CIA torture contractors may have used dogs to rape detainees in Afghanistan: The possibility that it happened, our realization that the CIA hasn’t given us any reason to think they’d never stoop to such a thing, or the dead certainty that if the allegations are proven true, there will be plenty of Americans who will not only make excuses for it, but will actually insist that using dogs to rape Muslim prisoners was a pretty clever thing to do. If it was done. Read more on Do Not Click On This Story About Rumored CIA-Detainee Rape By Dogs. Really, Don’t….
  What’s more American than rectal hydration with mom’s apple pie?

Not At All Shocking New Poll Proves Torture Is Totally An American Value, Actually

It's not wrong when America does it
It’s a good thing we finally got the summarized and redacted truth about the CIA’s torture program so Americans would, at long last, be able to express their informed indignation and demand some accountability. Read more on Not At All Shocking New Poll Proves Torture Is Totally An American Value, Actually…
  Here have some news n stuff

Justice Scalia: What’s So Terrible About Torture? It Works On TV!

What's the difference between real life and TV? Who knows? Who cares?
At least Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia isn’t in a position to make important decisions that affect people’s lives, or this might be a tad disturbing: Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia says torture — depending on the circumstances, like if a nuclear bomb was planted in Los Angeles — isn’t necessarily off limits. […] Read more on Justice Scalia: What’s So Terrible About Torture? It Works On TV!…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Did The CIA Really Need To Do All That Torture To Protect America? (Video)

Might be making an excellent point about something, might be a Motown back-up singer
In his press conference on the Senate Intelligence Committee’s report on torture, CIA Director John Brennan acknowledged that interrogators did some things that were “abhorrent and rightly should be repudiated by all,” but also explained that it was a crazy time and everybody was just doing the best they could to Protect America. Read more on Morning Maddow: Did The CIA Really Need To Do All That Torture To Protect America? (Video)…
  Rectally Infused Excuses

CIA Chief: Torture Is Bad, We Shouldn’t Do It, Now Please Shut Up About It

It's an art, apparently
CIA Director John Brennan held a press conference today to respond to the Senate Intelligence Committee’s report on torture during the Bush administration, and he gave a very clear message: The CIA is good, torture is bad, it’s hard to say whether torture led to useful intelligence, but it definitely helped find Osama bin Ladin, and it was a long time ago so can we please just look to the future please? Read more on CIA Chief: Torture Is Bad, We Shouldn’t Do It, Now Please Shut Up About It…
  Tortured Logic 2: Electric (Shocks To The Genitals) Boogaloo

Dick Cheney Throws George W. Bush Under War Criminal Bus

Dick Cheney, the dark lord who makes Satan himself cringe, wants you to know a few things about that Senate report on torture that he has not read but knows is not only “hooey” but also “full of crap.” Read more on Dick Cheney Throws George W. Bush Under War Criminal Bus…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Surprise, CIA Torture Program Was Run By Idiots (Video)

Poinsettias and torture reports go together so well
Rachel Maddow started off her Tuesday show with one of those Historical Context pieces she’s so fond of, and it was a doozy: the story of Yuri Nosenko, the KGB agent who defected to the USA in 1964. Despite Nosenko’s having worked as a double agent and then voluntarily giving the CIA a trove of information, the agency — hoping to get the real truth on Lee Harvey Oswald — tortured Nosenko from 1964 to 1967, eventually deciding he’d been truthful after all. Then they gave him a nice pension, a new identity, and a new life somewhere in America. He died in 2008. You’d think maybe the CIA might have learned something about the value of torture in getting useful intelligence. But no, instead we got the Bush administration’s torture program, the subject of yesterday’s Senate Intelligence Committee report. Read more on Morning Maddow: Surprise, CIA Torture Program Was Run By Idiots (Video)…
  We Know Where The Lies Are: East West South And North Somewhat

Donald Rumsfeld Has Nothing To Say About Torture, But He’d Like Your Money

Maybe he can make this
Remember the good old days, of, say, 2004, before we knew for an absolute fact that our government was torturing the hell out of detainees? All we had then were rumors and some photographs and maybe some videos and some blown whistles about some “bad apples” — and a whole lot of denials from the Bush administration, who would never lie about anything, because “we don’t torture.” Read more on Donald Rumsfeld Has Nothing To Say About Torture, But He’d Like Your Money…