Tag: torture

So, about that whole 'civilian control of the military' thing...So, about that whole 'civilian control of the military' thing...

Trump Could Do Worse Than Secretary Of Defense James Mattis. In Fact, It’s Shocking He Didn’t

Donald Trump seems to have almost accidentally found a competent candidate for Secretary of Defense. Maybe.
Sheriffs don't have to know nothing 'bout birthing no babies

Team Of Evils: It’s Gonna Be A ‘Dead Baby In the Jail Cell’ Kind Of Day

Hey! We found a sheriff worse than Joe Arpaio!
I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.

Fine Here Is Your Bloody Kurt Vonnegut For Armistice Day And The Death Of America. So It Goes.

What would Kurt Vonnegut say about Donald Trump? He already said it.

Even George W. Bush’s Favorite Torture Boy Thinks Donald Trump Is Like WHOA BAD CRAZY

JOHN YOO! Even JOHN YOO thinks Trump is unfit to be president.
myfriends, my friends, my friends..FIVE AND A HLAF YEARS, ALAN!

‘Oath Keepers’ Militia Loons Pretty Sure John McCain Needs To Be Executed For Being Tortured

A rightwing militia group is certain that a recording of John McCain's 1969 forced confession proves he needs to be executed for treason. Protip: "patriot" groups who want to overthrow the government give lousy legal advice.

Donald Trump Hearts Saddam Hussein

Donald Trump thinks Saddam Hussein was an admirable role model for dealing with terrorists, because he got the job done. Why would anyone have a problem with a simple factual statement like that?
Another five and a half months, Alan!

John McCain Explains To Donald Trump In Very Small Words: Torture Is Bad

Yeah, but Trump likes guy who weren't tortured.
Don't go away mad. Just go away.

Joe Arpaio Will Jazz Up The Uniforms Of Heat-Stricken Prison Inmates With Tiny American Flags

Sheriff Joseph Arpaio almost definitely has a human skin lamp in his sunroom.
At least he spells good

New Poll Shows Americans Are Total Idiots, Part Zillionteen

It's always fun slash super depressing to check in on what U.S. Americans "think" about "stuff." Sometimes they have good thoughts -- like that Republicans are petty petulant obstructionist swizzle dicks who should do their damned goddamned jobs. Good for...

George W. Bush Is Great Tipper, Terrible President, Did Not Actually Do 9/11

When a famous person comes into your restaurant and turns out to be a great customer, there are many things you should do as a server. Treat them like you would anyone else, give them good service, don't bring...

Brussels Terror Attacks: Known Knowns, Known Unknowns, And Some Of The Asshats

Here we are again in the aftermath of another horrible massacre, this time in Belgium. We're still in the "early reports indicate" phase, so be ready for the things that we know for sure to change quickly. Not that...
Serious Trump is Serious

If President Donald Trump Tortures You, That Means It’s Not Illegal

Donald Trump loves him some torture, so much. Whenever he can, he explains how he'd bring back waterboarding -- and more! -- and maybe also kill some terrorists' families, because you gotta be tough with these animals. In Thursday's debate,...

Fox News Tries To Slay Donald Trump, Gets ‘A’ For Effort

Last night, Fox News surprised the hell out of us. Not by trying in valiant vain to slay the Beast Who Mocks, Donald Trump -- we knew they'd do that. What we didn't expect is that they would employ...

Ben Carson Plans To End Terrorism With ‘Truth Serum,’ Also Jetpacks Maybe

Actual Brain Surgeon, alleged medical doctor, and reputed presidential candidate -- or ready and willing vice presidential candidate, at least -- Ben Carson has a surefire solution to the War On Terror: rather than resort to torture, why not use the...
He may or may not get to have a word with the Framers about original intent.

Antonin Scalia Still Dead

Antonin Scalia, the senior Associate Justice of the Supreme Court, has died in Texas at the age of 79. Scalia was found dead Saturday morning at a ranch near Marfa, where he had been staying after a day of...
Caramba!

NH Primary Down To Donald Trump’s Watermelon-Sized Balls, Ted Cruz’s Vagina

In Manchester, New Hampshire, Monday night, Donald Trump continued an unbroken string of getting away with crap that would have sunk any other campaign in history, enthusiastically repeating a supporter's shout that Ted Cruz is a pussy for hesitating...