toronto

CRACK BACK: STILL WACK  5:51 pm May 17, 2013

New Trendy Thing: Local Pols Smoking Crack Like It’s 1999

by Doktor Zoom

It took a while, sure, but the Marion Berry copycats are suddenly coming out in droves! (They are just really really slow copycats because of their drug-induced torpor.) That is, if two counts as “droves,” and we figure fuck it, because that’s easily enough examples for a New York Times trend piece. So here’s the [...]

BUT DO THE PENGUINS GET A TOASTER?  10:30 am May 29, 2012

Why Are These Dastardly Spaniards Turning These Poor Penguins Gay?

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Madrid, Spain, is the location for all those disgusting Pedro Almodovar movies about nuns and transvestites and nun-transvestites, and pregnant nuns caring for junkie transvestites. So it it any wonder that in Godless Madrid, zookeepers are turning poor penguins gay? They are even endangering unborn penguins by letting them be hatched and adopted by homosexual* [...]

NOM NOM NOM  6:06 pm May 26, 2009

Royal Canadian Governor Eats Heart Of Baby Seal

by Jim Newell

JESUS CHRIST, CANADA. Wonkette Loonie operative “David” writes that where he lives, in Canada, “The Representative of Her Majesty the Queen has raised the profile of the Monarchy in Canada by grabbing the beating heart out of a baby seal and eating live on camera.” It’s true, she really does — it’s in the newspapers!


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