A fancy Tory named Professor John Beddington is worried about that the “growing world population will cause a ‘perfect storm’ of food, energy and water shortages by 2030.” He’s the “chief government scientist” of England, too, so he is basically Al Gore in knickers. Anyway, this will starve out mostly the poor countries, so we’re… oh shit that’s us now! Actually, meh. Anyone who expects things to be halfway decent in 2030, anywhere, is kind of dumb. Just remember not to breed, unless you’re *comfortable* with having to sell your child to the Huns in a few years. [BBC]

According to the British tabloid News of the World, the Duke of Westminster also patronizes the Emperor’s Club VIP. He is Britain’s third richest man and “heads his country’s Territorial Army,” who fight the terrorists. Since these incredible things were not quite enough for his paid sex worker to have sex with him, here’s what he told her to seal the deal: “Osama bin Laden was alive and hiding in Pakistan.” MORE »