Tag Archives: topless carwashes

  all the pretty horses

This Month’s Bake Sale And Topless Car Wash Fundraiser: Help Wonket Buy Doktor Zoom!

Help us buy Doktor Zoom what? A PONY? No. Just help us buy Doktor Zoom. If you, the Wonkers, buy Doktor Zoom for us, we promise to brush him and feed him and walk him every day. Just think about all the things you could make Zoom do if you owned him your very own self. You could tell him to dance, and he would dance! You could yell at him for sammiches, and he would make you sammiches! We figure, on the real, a living wage (in Idaho, lucky us!) and bennies and healthcare nonsense come to a WALLOPING $60 thousand for the year. Do we have $60 thousand? OF COURSE NOT, DON’T BE RIDICULOSE. But it could be ever so much worse. Dok could live in a city with running water and electricity, instead of the wilds of Boise, where we are pretty sure he grows his own root vegetables out back of the privy. Read more on This Month’s Bake Sale And Topless Car Wash Fundraiser: Help Wonket Buy Doktor Zoom!…
  love it or leave it

Alabama Fella Pretty Much Started Petition ‘Cause Fascist Gubmint Shut Down His Nudie Carwash

Lots of red-blooded US Merkins love America so much they want to LEAVE IT (because Kenyan Mooslim Sharia Oppression and such). But one such patriot is a little more interesting! Sup, guy who started Alabama’s secession petition Derrick Belcher, 45, of “Chuncula”? “Blah blah libertarianism, RON PAUL!!!1!, freedom, not-racist, hard-working, etc.” Oh yes, here it is: “It’s economics -– just that simple,” he said. “I’m working poor. And I work -– I’ve never taken a dime from the government. I’ll starve before I take a handout. That’s what being a true American is all about.” Belcher blamed the government for shutting down his former business. Belcher said his Euro Details car wash, which featured topless women, was successful for a decade on Halls Mill Road in Mobile. But he said he was arrested and charged with obscenity by city officials in 2001. “The government ripped my business away, and now they’re choking America to death with rules and regulations,” he said. Read more on Alabama Fella Pretty Much Started Petition ‘Cause Fascist Gubmint Shut Down His Nudie Carwash…