Well, Barack Obama has failed again. The so-called president isn’t quite as popular as Nazi Pope Joseph Ratzinger and Partially-African-American Nike model Tiger Woods combined, according to an idiotic new study which also revealed that 5% of Americans want to meet and have their topless picture taken with teevee’s Hannah Montana. MORE »

You know why we have not written about this too much? Because number one, who gives a flying fuck what Miss California thinks about political “things.” And number two, any beauty pageant contestant who doesn’t have a boatload of topless photos in her closet is just not trying hard enough. Anyway Donald Trump, the owner of the Miss USA and the world’s wealthiest muskrat, determined that Carrie Prejean’s hawt pre-boob-job photos did not diminish her ability to attend ribbon-cuttings at county fairs and other important Miss California-related events. It is a sad day when Donald Trump is the sanest man on television. [USA Today]

CAN OBAMA SAVE STRUGGLING MAGAZINE INDUSTRY BY GOING SHIRTLESS? Today, like every day, is “sex day” here at Wonkette. Our local porn rag, The Washingtonian, features a topless photograph of President Obama and his precious boobles in its May issue. Now click that YouTube link in the post below and you will have everything (minus a cold glass of Franzia white zin) for a very hot date with yourself, loser. [Washingtonian magazine]

Our own Jim Newell is a modern day NOSTRADAMUS. Just four days ago he wrote about gays hatin’ on Pastor Rick Warren, “This furious resistance will last, at most, four days, when new shirtless pixxx of Obama in Hawaii will leak to the Huffington Post and everyone will forget about gay invocations or whatever.” Well, they leaked to TMZ, but otherwise A plus! You really can write the news in advance. Photo by Bauer Griffin. [TMZ]

The biggest news story in the world is, of course, about some little ‘tween girl from Disney TeeVee who was forced to pose for naked photographs by an old lesbian photographer for Vanity Fair. This is very shameful, how Conde Nast let its magazine be used for half-nekkid pictures of an entertainer who is a girl child. The little girl only made $100 million dollars for having to be the star of Hannah Montana, which is the story of “Achey Breaky Heart” sensation Billy Ray Cyrus and his secret daughter who wants to be on teevee. The question is, which presidential candidate was more of a lech to the innocent little child, Obama or McCain? MORE »