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Tag: top

Election 2012: Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid

Here is your Halloween Horror Story Scary Post! Victoria Collier has a terrifying account of electoral spookiness in the current Harper's Magazine.* Spoiler alert: Collier suggests that it is entirely possible that the GOP will be able to rig...

Mitt Romney Can Kiss Chris Christie’s Fat Ass

A harried-looking New Jersey Governor Chris Christie showed up on Fox & Friends this morning, and the concerned geniuses there immediately got to the important question, while he explained the massive destruction all around him: Would he be having...

A Reminder To You On The East Coast That Mitt Romney Finds Your Travails Hilarious

Hai East Coast, what's new? Sorry about your DEATH CRANE! We are just chilling here in sunny Californy watching old videos of Mitt Romney accepting his nomination. We were there! It was so great! We went from really really...

Watch Paul Ryan’s Wife Janna Stop Herself From Tearing Unemployed Guy’s Throat Out With Her Teeth

Here is a rather whiny guy (Millennial, obvs) who simply will not leave Paul Ryan alone, when all Paul Ryan is trying to do is mind his own business and walk in a Memorial Day parade or something and...
The deer are not what they seem

Chuck Grassley’s Postmodern Tweet-Lit Phenom: ‘Assume Deer Dead’

Senator Charles “Chuck” “I now h v an iphone” Grassley (R-Xanadu) just loves him some Twitter. And he tweets with all the Nrg a man can bring to the task. But a true artist knows that he must grow....

WND: Journalists Should Be Executed In Honor Of Free Speech Week Because Supporting American President Is Treason

WingNutDaily editrix Jerome Corsi is still flying around on Ol' Miffed Romney's plane as a valued member of the press, but is he aware that his own columnist (a black man who is, er, the author of Negrophilia: From...

On Behalf Of Fellow Women Everywhere, John McCain Accepts Richard Mourdock’s Rapebortion ‘Apology’

Richard Mourdock has "apologized" (no he hasn't) for saying rape is Jesus's special way of giving you something productive to do for the next 18 years instead of whoring around on Saturday nights like common trollops, and on behalf...

Sarah Palin Will No Longer Be Racist As Soon As She Understands What Racism Is

Hey, so after Arctic griftbull Sarah Palin was balls-out racist yesterday, saying Blackrack Obama was committing a "shuck and jive" against white people, she took to Facebook to pen a response to her awful critics. Well, not "pen," someone else...

October 24, 2012: The Day Trump Changed Everything (LIVEBLOG)

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, puppies and kittens: we are a mere twenty minutes away from Donald Trump changing everything by revealing something incredibly stupid and probably racist about Barack Obama. He will be doing this via Facebook and...

GOP Candidate Richard Mourdock: Why Can’t Dames Understand That Rape-Babies Are God’s Precious Gift?

Hey, you know what's tricky? Putting together a coherent philosophical system that reconciles belief in an omnipotent but also loving God with indisputable evidence that bad things happen to good people. And it can be frustrating when...

Trump ‘Bombshell’ II: Michelle Hates Barry, Wanted A Divorce

We revealed earlier that Donald Trump will probably tell us all that Barack Obama was the Kenyan Ricky Ross tomorrow, but there is a second, equally credible bombshell that Donald Trump will also probably embarrassingly reveal to absolutely no...

Walking Morality Tale Lindsay Lohan Really Milking This Whole Undecided ‘Voter’ Thing

You guys, Lindsay Lohan just does NOT know what to do about this whole "presidential race" thing, and it is seriously stressing her out! Earlier this month chronically underemployed former child star Lindsay Lohan said she was supporting Mitt...

Mitt Romney Not Waiting Around All Day For You To Return His Call About Your Dead Son, Lady

Mitt Romney is a very busy man, you guys. He is busy now that he’s running for president, and he was busy back when he was a governor. So if your son dies and he gives you a call...

U.S. American Mitt Romney Does Not Have Maps

The Twitter is all mad at US American Mitt Romney this morning for something about ... geography? Like such as not knowing that Syria is not Iran's "route to the sea" or something? And that in fact there is...

U.S Americans, Like Such As In The Iraq: Your Foreign Policy Debate Liveblog

Greetings, Wonkers, and welcome back to Wonkette’s State of the Art LiveBlogoPlex for the final Debate-O-Palooza of the 2012 Presidential campaign! Your Editrix and most of the Wonkette staff are standing by via the Top Sekrit Wonkette...

Intrepid Conservative Blogger Magnificently Exposes Massive Hofstra-Based Conspiracy

Follow along, libtards, as some guy on the internet blows your whole world up. Last week's town hall debate was notable for many things - Romney trying to bumrush Obama like eighteen times, Obama not falling asleep five minutes in,...