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New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez, repeat after us: Pay your hookers. Pay your hookers. PAY YOUR GODDAMN HOOKERS. Maybe you thought $100 was enough for working gals in the Dominican Republic. If that is so, you should have told them that UP FRONT instead of agreeing to $500 and then only forking over a lousy […]

Here is your Halloween Horror Story Scary Post! Victoria Collier has a terrifying account of electoral spookiness in the current Harper’s Magazine.* Spoiler alert: Collier suggests that it is entirely possible that the GOP will be able to rig computerized voting machines to ensure that Mitt Romney wins the Presidency…and further, there’s no way to […]

A harried-looking New Jersey Governor Chris Christie showed up on Fox & Friends this morning, and the concerned geniuses there immediately got to the important question, while he explained the massive destruction all around him: Would he be having a nice photo op of the devastation of his state with Republican standardbearer His Lord High […]

Hai East Coast, what’s new? Sorry about your DEATH CRANE! We are just chilling here in sunny Californy watching old videos of Mitt Romney accepting his nomination. We were there! It was so great! We went from really really intensely disliking the man to a full-on hatred by the time he was done smirking, lying, […]

Here is a rather whiny guy (Millennial, obvs) who simply will not leave Paul Ryan alone, when all Paul Ryan is trying to do is mind his own business and walk in a Memorial Day parade or something and not talk to him about his silly old “can’t get a job” problem! He is WALKING […]

Senator Charles “Chuck” “I now h v an iphone” Grassley (R-Xanadu) just loves him some Twitter. And he tweets with all the Nrg a man can bring to the task. But a true artist knows that he must grow. He must test his limits. There is a limit (140 bytes) to just how many insanely […]

WingNutDaily editrix Jerome Corsi is still flying around on Ol’ Miffed Romney’s plane as a valued member of the press, but is he aware that his own columnist (a black man who is, er, the author of Negrophilia: From Slave Block to Pedestal – America’s Racial Obsession) is now calling for his death by firing […]

Richard Mourdock has “apologized” (no he hasn’t) for saying rape is Jesus’s special way of giving you something productive to do for the next 18 years instead of whoring around on Saturday nights like common trollops, and on behalf of us all, John McCain has graciously accepted his “apology”! So it’s cool you guys, John […]

Hey, so after Arctic griftbull Sarah Palin was balls-out racist yesterday, saying Blackrack Obama was committing a “shuck and jive” against white people, she took to Facebook to pen a response to her awful critics. Well, not “pen,” someone else wrote it for her. Someone white. For the record, there was nothing remotely racist in my […]

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, puppies and kittens: we are a mere twenty minutes away from Donald Trump changing everything by revealing something incredibly stupid and probably racist about Barack Obama. He will be doing this via Facebook and Twitter, so we, of course, are going to liveblog whatever Donald Trump is releasing in […]

Hey, you know what’s tricky? Putting together a coherent philosophical system that reconciles belief in an omnipotent but also loving God with indisputable evidence that bad things happen to good people. And it can be frustrating when you’re running for Senate and someone at a debate tries to trip you up with a “gotcha” question […]

We revealed earlier that Donald Trump will probably tell us all that Barack Obama was the Kenyan Ricky Ross tomorrow, but there is a second, equally credible bombshell that Donald Trump will also probably embarrassingly reveal to absolutely no impact tomorrow: the Obamas once considered divorcing. With his trademarked humility and circumspection, Donald Trump recently […]

You guys, Lindsay Lohan just does NOT know what to do about this whole “presidential race” thing, and it is seriously stressing her out! Earlier this month chronically underemployed former child star Lindsay Lohan said she was supporting Mitt Romney because “employment is really important right now,” but Politico reports that on Monday she retweeted […]

Mitt Romney is a very busy man, you guys. He is busy now that he’s running for president, and he was busy back when he was a governor. So if your son dies and he gives you a call the day of his funeral, you should probably call him back RIGHT AWAY because he is […]

The Twitter is all mad at US American Mitt Romney this morning for something about … geography? Like such as not knowing that Syria is not Iran’s “route to the sea” or something? And that in fact there is a whole other country between the two? Here, let some nerd explain it for you: Rebecca […]