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WND Had A Most Cunning Plan To Stop Obama With Constitution, Except For One Tiny Detail: The Constitution
Judson Phillips, founder of Tea Party Nation and a guy who just loves the Constitution of the United States so much that he wakes up every morning with patriojizz all over his 2nd-amendment footie pajamas, published a brilliant plan the other day that had the potential to actually save America from the tragedy of national [...]
Strippers Score Hot Legal Victory Over Terrible Rhino
Here at Wonkette, we take our goal of bringing you Very Serious Legal News very seriously. Whether it is politicians getting busted for the sexytime, politicians getting busted for the sexytime, or politicians getting busted for the sexytime, we here at Wonkette are ON it. Sometimes sexytime isn’t so sexy, though! Sometimes ladies who deliver [...]
New Birther Judge Gary Kreep: Gays Threw Pus And Come On Me
Did you know that in many states there are judicial elections? And that those judicial elections are a pathway for really exceptional conspiracy-driven wingnuts, rather than your garden-variety wingnut, to ascend to positions of power? And it is almost impossible to get rid of them once they are elected? You do now!! Democracy, California-style, has [...]
A Children’s Treasury of CEOs Throwing Very Grown-Up Tantrums Over Obamacare
If we were the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company, we would happily make ten cents less per unit in order to make sure that our employees have health care coverage. This would be DOUBLY true if we were the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company in the food industry, given that we would not [...]
Alabama Fella Pretty Much Started Petition ‘Cause Fascist Gubmint Shut Down His Nudie Carwash
Lots of red-blooded US Merkins love America so much they want to LEAVE IT (because Kenyan Mooslim Sharia Oppression and such). But one such patriot is a little more interesting! Sup, guy who started Alabama’s secession petition Derrick Belcher, 45, of “Chuncula”? “Blah blah libertarianism, RON PAUL!!!1!, freedom, not-racist, hard-working, etc.” Oh yes, here it [...]
Great GOP Hope Marco Rubio: Let’s Just Go Ahead and Let Rich People Do Whatever
Marco Rubio, who we have been told is the New Face of the Republican party, has a brilliant take on solving the so-called fiscal cliff: let’s just go ahead and let rich people do whatever they want because they’ll hire a bunch of lawyers and do what they want no matter what so we might [...]
John McCain Continues To Be A Bitter Old Idiot
You know who is so mad about the attack on the American consulate in Benghazi, and how Barack Obama sat around in the SitRoom, eating popcorn and demanding the CIA stand down and let our ambassador, Christopher Stevens, die and get dragged through the streets*? John McCain is so mad about it! He is so [...]
Mitt Romney Drops By To Make Sure You Still Loathe Him
Mitt Romney was lonely. A week after the election, and all anybody was laughing at was Karl Rove and Fox News and Dick Morris and Gallup, and people had kind of forgotten Mitt himself, the onetime standard-bearer of the GOP. Had he himself not shit the bed? Was he not the master of his own [...]
A Shady Charity, Millions In Debt, And ‘Diplomatic Inviolability’: Tampa’s Good-Time Kelley Sisters Are Perfect Republicans
It’s completely not fair that we in the media have now turned our considerable interest on the Kelley sistren. All they did was either get some shitty emails from a presumed nutzoid Internet stalker, or be related to someone who got some shitty emails from a presumed nutzoid Internet stalker, and now here we are [...]
Come, Drink In Delusional Mitt Romney’s Election-Night Sadness With Us
Oh boy, we have now reached our favorite part of the election cycle: the end! It’s great because (a) the stressful part is over and (b) all the low-level staffers for both campaigns start telling secrets to the reporters that they most want to sleep with. And so it was that the lucky folks at [...]
A Children’s Treasury Of Job Applications For Defeated GOP Wingnuts
Oh, yeah, sure, say Obama “saved the economy” or whatever, and maybe unemployment is “on the way down,” by and large, if you’re into numbers or blah blah blah, but listen up, little Cleverpants you, because there are people who lost their jobs not two days ago. They are Republicans, booted out the door by [...]
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