Wonkette

* “It seems to me that if the city is going to legislate a smoking ban and effectively throw us smokers into the street, that the least they could do is pony up and put ashtrays on every busy block.” [Good at Drinking, Bad at Life]
* “Only in DC do you see advertisements for military aircraft on public transit … Boeing’s C-27J spartan cargo and tactical transport aircraft.” [Life Off Balance]
* Beautiful picture of Columbia Heights. [Night Writer]
* “Giant local employer Fannie Mae expects it will lay off hundreds of workers in the wake of huge federal fines imposed in their accounting scandal. We’re sorry, unsuspecting Fannie Mae employees.” [DCist]
* “Vince Gill and Amy Grant!? I hate to spoil it for all you fans, but I bet they play ‘House of Love’ as their encore. I’m not linking to the lyrics to that musical abortion because they are insipid and the song will just end up stuck in your head and I don’t want to do that to you. I’m looking out for my readers. If Tony Snow’s cancer was a song, it would be ‘House of Love.’ It eats away at the very core of who you are.” [why.i.hate.dc]

The new kinder gentler really-concerned-about-politicians version of Wonkette hasn’t won over everybody:

Subject: tony snow cancer
From: joe searcy
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White House spokesman Tony Snow has cancer again, his omnipresent “live strong” bracelet having failed its wearer yet again. MORE »

Charlie Sheen is barking up the wrong controlled-demolition tree. If you want the real dirt on 9/11, you just need to watch a White House daily briefing. That crazy Tony Snow slips in some strange stuff!

Remember how Bush and Cheney wouldn’t go under oath or even On the Record for the 9/11 Commission? And how they would only talk together, to keep their bullshit story straight?

After the jump, thrill to the antics of the White House Press Corps as they lure Snow into a trap he may never escape.

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Again with the cancer! White House spokesman Tony Snow — who we noted just yesterday looks like absolute hell after 11 months on the job — is going to the hospital to have some weird growth cut out of his guts. It’s not cancer, maybe, but he already had colon cancer so the doctors watch his guts closely. MORE »

Wonkette operative “Choire” notes that Tony Snow looked about 20 years younger last year: MORE »

* Heard on the Hill: Remember yesterday’s picture of Hoyer and Pelosi dancing in the dark? They were dancing to a Springsteen cover band, led by Dennis Moore, playing Buddy Holly’s “Oh Boy.” … Tiger Woods was here… Hill staffers not entering “Funniest Fed” contest, because they’re apparently more sensible than we thought. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Elizabeth Birch and Hilary Rosen broke up! Aww… Geraldine Ferraro very popular with the Women’s Caucus. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Mark Russell has canceled his annual St. Patrick’s Day party. We’ve written an amusing song about it, but there’s sadly not time to play it now… Tony Snow forced an audience of federal employees to do the wave… Stephen Breyer speaks French. There are absolutely no jokes that could possibly be made about that. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Helen Thomas might get her seat back! When the next President takes over. Except the President doesn’t actually assign those seats, so you know… Ellen Tauscher’s district has renamed the Easter Bunny the “Spring Bunny.” Anything goes in California. [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: Everyone’s corrupt and making YouTube videos about it… The “Secular Coalition for America” is “outing” an atheist member of congress, or something. [Politico]
* The Sleuth: LBJ: finally getting a building! [WP]
* Rush & Molloy: Peter King, who co-chaired McCain’s 2000 New York campaign, is now with Rudy. [NYDN]

The job of the White House press secretary is to lie about what the president is doing and cover up what the administration has already done. It’s not an easy job, which is why so many spokesmen have recently quit to spend more time with Andy Card’s family. MORE »

* Reliable Source: Broadway play about the complex relationship between Supreme Court Justices Harry Blackmun and Warren Burger to be pretty much like The Sunshine Boys but funnier… Matt Damon’s here filming. Much more exciting: Nic “Ghost Rider” Cage will be here soon. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Tony Snow played his damn flute again… Ron Paul: Very popular on the internet… There is a Furry in a dolphin suit repping for Mitt Romney at CPAC. [Examiner]

* Tony Snow is happy to confirm he’s not lying, when he’s not lying. [1115]
* Creepiest media moguls to attend conference in creepiest state for creepiest candidate. [Hotline on Call]
* Smarmy elites chase dandified elites from national political stage. [Political Insider]
* Barry Hussein wins key endorsement from leader of pro-terror voting block. [Election Central]
* Coalition party in Iraq must’ve run out of booze. [The Gavel]
* British troops only being withdrawn so Prince Harry doesn’t have to grow any hair — on his precious porcelain balls. [Breitbart]
* Fox news viewers tune into The 1/2 Hour News Hour to save time. [Comedy Central Insider]