The new kinder gentler really-concerned-about-politicians version of Wonkette hasn’t won over everybody:

Subject: tony snow cancer
From: joe searcy
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White House spokesman Tony Snow has cancer again, his omnipresent “live strong” bracelet having failed its wearer yet again. MORE »

Charlie Sheen is barking up the wrong controlled-demolition tree. If you want the real dirt on 9/11, you just need to watch a White House daily briefing. That crazy Tony Snow slips in some strange stuff!

Remember how Bush and Cheney wouldn’t go under oath or even On the Record for the 9/11 Commission? And how they would only talk together, to keep their bullshit story straight?

After the jump, thrill to the antics of the White House Press Corps as they lure Snow into a trap he may never escape.

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Again with the cancer! White House spokesman Tony Snow — who we noted just yesterday looks like absolute hell after 11 months on the job — is going to the hospital to have some weird growth cut out of his guts. It’s not cancer, maybe, but he already had colon cancer so the doctors watch his guts closely. MORE »

Wonkette operative “Choire” notes that Tony Snow looked about 20 years younger last year: MORE »

* Heard on the Hill: Remember yesterday’s picture of Hoyer and Pelosi dancing in the dark? They were dancing to a Springsteen cover band, led by Dennis Moore, playing Buddy Holly’s “Oh Boy.” … Tiger Woods was here… Hill staffers not entering “Funniest Fed” contest, because they’re apparently more sensible than we thought. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Elizabeth Birch and Hilary Rosen broke up! Aww… Geraldine Ferraro very popular with the Women’s Caucus. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Mark Russell has canceled his annual St. Patrick’s Day party. We’ve written an amusing song about it, but there’s sadly not time to play it now… Tony Snow forced an audience of federal employees to do the wave… Stephen Breyer speaks French. There are absolutely no jokes that could possibly be made about that. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Helen Thomas might get her seat back! When the next President takes over. Except the President doesn’t actually assign those seats, so you know… Ellen Tauscher’s district has renamed the Easter Bunny the “Spring Bunny.” Anything goes in California. [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: Everyone’s corrupt and making YouTube videos about it… The “Secular Coalition for America” is “outing” an atheist member of congress, or something. [Politico]
* The Sleuth: LBJ: finally getting a building! [WP]
* Rush & Molloy: Peter King, who co-chaired McCain’s 2000 New York campaign, is now with Rudy. [NYDN]

The job of the White House press secretary is to lie about what the president is doing and cover up what the administration has already done. It’s not an easy job, which is why so many spokesmen have recently quit to spend more time with Andy Card’s family. MORE »

* Reliable Source: Broadway play about the complex relationship between Supreme Court Justices Harry Blackmun and Warren Burger to be pretty much like The Sunshine Boys but funnier… Matt Damon’s here filming. Much more exciting: Nic “Ghost Rider” Cage will be here soon. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Tony Snow played his damn flute again… Ron Paul: Very popular on the internet… There is a Furry in a dolphin suit repping for Mitt Romney at CPAC. [Examiner]

* Tony Snow is happy to confirm he’s not lying, when he’s not lying. [1115]
* Creepiest media moguls to attend conference in creepiest state for creepiest candidate. [Hotline on Call]
* Smarmy elites chase dandified elites from national political stage. [Political Insider]
* Barry Hussein wins key endorsement from leader of pro-terror voting block. [Election Central]
* Coalition party in Iraq must’ve run out of booze. [The Gavel]
* British troops only being withdrawn so Prince Harry doesn’t have to grow any hair — on his precious porcelain balls. [Breitbart]
* Fox news viewers tune into The 1/2 Hour News Hour to save time. [Comedy Central Insider]

* In a gimmicky sitcom-like twist, Tony Snow questions members of the White House press corps at the National Press Club. Free, reservations required and “sold out.” Make it happen at 8PM. [NPC]
* BARR, Marnie Stern (Kill Rock Stars) and Person at the Warehouse Next Door. $8 at 9:30PM. [WND]
* Mardi Gras party with Le Bon Temps Krewe at The Red and The Black and a live feed from Bourbon Street. $8. [The Red and The Black]
* The Washington Peace Center and Friends of The Congo host ” Bling: The Pillaging of the African Continent” at Busboys and Poets. The documentary Mineral Exploitation of Africa’s Wealth will be followed by a panel discussion about “the role that foreign governments, multi-national corporations and consumers play in the looting of Africa.” $5 at 6PM. [Friends of the Congo]

* Heard on the Hill: Real estate website features on online tour of Samuel Alito’s house… Joe Lieberman voted on Shabbos, walked to the Capitol from his Georgetown house… Orrin Hatch’s website is full of lies. [Roll Call]
* Yeas and Nays: Dennis Kucinich’s website is full of pictures of his hot wife. [Examiner]
* Shenanigans: Hillary has not co-sponsored legislation to make her husband’s childhood home a national historic site… Tony Snow is going to ask questions of reporters tonight at the Press Club in a hilarious switcharoo. [Politico]