Tag Archives: tony abbott

  Red Dawn II: How Tiresome

Will Putin Spend Retirement Sunbathing In Miami With All The Other Airplane Murderers?

Cheer up, Vlad. Being accused of blowing up an airplane isn’t the end of the world. Worst case scenario, you can always move to Florida. Just ask CIA-trained terrorist Luis Posada Carriles, who managed to escape from prison while on trial in Venezuela for dynamiting a Cuban airliner, killing all 78 people on board. After various zany adventures – including a stint in Panamanian prison for different, non-airplane related terrorism – Carriles eventually arrived in sunny Miami in 2005, where he has “slept like a baby” ever since — when he wasn’t marching in Cuban Patriot parades with Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine. Read more on Will Putin Spend Retirement Sunbathing In Miami With All The Other Airplane Murderers?…
  not as good as an abba song

Australian Supreme Court Sodomizes Capital’s Gay Marriage Law

Here’s an American export we ‘d hoped wouldn’t catch on: Australia now has its very own antipodean version of California’s Proposition 8 mess. First, the Australian Capital Territory (ACT) — Australia’s equivalent of the District of Columbia, where the capital city, Canberra, is located — passed a law allowing same-sex marriage; it went into effect on Saturday, and some 30 couples got married. And then, after less than a week, the country’s High Court reversed the territorial law, saying it was inconsistent with a 2004 national law defining marriage as between one man and one woman, effectively nullifying the marriages that had been performed. Couples who had taken advantage of the brief window of legal marriage equality said they were disappointed but not surprised, because fundamentalists the world round are why we can’t have nice things. Read more on Australian Supreme Court Sodomizes Capital’s Gay Marriage Law…
  all over the world

World Election Roundup: Australia To Remain Free Of Rule By Crazed Post-Apocalyptic Road Gangs A Little Longer

Today we thought we would circle past the Wonkette international desk – tucked away in a far corner of the newsroom, next to the janitorial supplies and a dusty pile of Butterstick references – and see what’s cookin’ overseas that does not have anything to do with Syria, because good Lord we’re tired of thinking about who is winning the “messaging battle” or whatever on Syria. First up: Russia, where the city of Moscow has re-elected as its mayor one Sergey Sobyanin, who has managed, to our knowledge, to never send pictures of his dick to random ladies he met on the Internet. No wonder we have never heard of him! Sobyanin is a longtime politician, leader of the largest political party in the country (United Russia), and a former Deputy Prime Minister of Russia. More importantly, he is a close ally of Vladimir Putin, who no doubt celebrated Sobyanin’s victory by downing a couple dozen shots of vodka and prank-calling Edward Snowden to ask if our intrepid hero has Prince Alexei Nikolaevich in a can. Read more on World Election Roundup: Australia To Remain Free Of Rule By Crazed Post-Apocalyptic Road Gangs A Little Longer…
  bitches man ... bitches

Aussie Prime Minister Broad Natters On And On, Won’t Shut Trap About ‘Sexism’

Above, via LittleGreenFootballs, is a quite enjoyable 15 minutes of Australian Prime Minister Tilda Swinton smearing her menses all over the leader of the opposition, Richard from Downton Abbey, for being a total sexist lorry. It is because some other dude, this “Slipper” fellow (who serves with Tilda in the Labor Party, which is center-left) sent some nasty sext messages to this other dude, Ashby, and Ashby has charged him with sexual harrassment, and Richard from Downton Abbey (who is in the Liberal Party, which is like the conservatives there?) decided to lecture Tilda Swinton about misogyny. (But not about not sexually harrassing gay guys?) Do you think Tilda Swinton cared for being lectured by Richard from Downton Abbey after all he did to Lady Mary? SHE DID NOT! So you can watch that, it is fun how she reduces all the male members to big moaning babies because she is all like “hey, sexism exists.” But more importantly, WHAT DID THE OFFENSIVE TEXTS SAY??? Read more on Aussie Prime Minister Broad Natters On And On, Won’t Shut Trap About ‘Sexism’…