Wonkette

This week, Tommy Thompson, Tim Russert, Dennis Kucinich, George Stephanopoulus, Anthony Kennedy, Jeff Daniels, Ariana Huffington, and Ben Bernanke were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump. MORE »

If we knew he would make us savory quiche all fixed up with Wisconsin cheddar and nutritious broccoli, perhaps we would’ve taken Tommy Thompson’s candidacy a little more seriously. But we didn’t, and now he’s out of the race, and the nation will never know what it missed.

The Honorable Tommy Thompson Specialty Recipe [Virtual Cities]

Tommy Thompson announced in Iowa last night that in his imaginary administration, he would appoint Colin Powell to be Secretary of State again. Because that worked out so well the last time! MORE »

This morning we heard Tommy Thompson was going to make an announcement of some kind at 3 p.m., but there wasn’t anything online, and then we got distracted by owls or something. Anyway, he announced something, but not what you’d imagine (”I give up”). Here, just read the entire article:

Tommy Thompson Says He’ll Stay In Race
UPDATED: 2:32 pm CDT June 13, 2007 MORE »

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At least one of the GOP candidates was Reaganesque at last week’s Ronald Reagan Memorial GOP Debate. Fourth-tier hopeful Tommy Thompson is pretending he’s deaf, just like Reagan used to do when he didn’t want to answer questions about Iran-Contra! MORE »

Two things you can say about North Dakota - it’s cold and it’s a haven from the coming robot apocalypse.

North Dakota made it illegal to force people to insert microchips into their bodies. MORE »

The unstoppable freight train that is the Dennis Kucinich campaign continues to roll on to victory. The first-quarter fundraising reports are in, and here’s something your liberal media doesn’t want you to know: Dennis is on top!* Just take a look at this barely altered Washington Post graphic.
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* Tommy Thompson took pages from the Bill Clinton and Bernie Kerik playbooks when he was spewing his seed all over Wisconsin. Pandagon]
* Democrats will “sanction” a series of debates that will not be fair and balanced. [Democrats.org, Election Central]
* Obama’s pile of money is like a beacon in the night, calling Al Gore into the race. [Political Insider]
* In tomorrow’s TIME “shocker,” Joe Klein will call for Bush to be impeached. [E&P]
* Air Force test pilots hot-box their new hot-rods. [Danger Room]
* McCain should get out of the race while he has a clusterfuck in Iraq to blame it on. [CQ Politics]

Former Wisconsin Governor and HHS Secretary Tommy Thompson is running for president! He announced it yesterday, and even though the guy already filed his papers indicating his intention to run last December, he managed to scam a few minutes of coverage yesterday. MORE »

* Democrats going to the mat with White House over “encroachments on privacy and civil liberties.” [WP, WSJ]
* Hillary Clinton is the undisputed world heavy weight champion of getting paid. [WP, NYT, LAT]
* Al-Qaida just as good as new. [NYT]
* Hopefully Tommy Thompson is in Iowa for his health. [WP, NYT]
* Recording interviews with suspects is a “non-starter” with the FBI. Illegal use of surveillance and bungling of cases still fine, obv. [NYT]
* Nevada governor Jim Gibbons is “a fast-motion train wreck.” [WP]
* President Bush will not be throwing out the first pitch at the Nationals home opener this afternoon as both the team and the White House worry about being associated with such a loser. [WP]

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Former guy-we-barely-remember Tommy “Tommy Gun” Thompson is running for president! MORE »

Surprising absolutely nobody on the planet, McCain celebrated his televised “I don’t much like the war now” act by announcing he’s starting his Exploratory Committee tomorrow. MORE »