Wonkette

The Democrats are having a grand old time at their Retreat today — telling ghost stories, staying up late, falling backwards into each other’s arms — so MSNBC is doing what they do best: wall-to-wall political coverage. MORE »

* Heard on the Hill: Mary Landrieu said: “I often think we would have been better off if the terrorists had blown up our levees. Maybe we’d have gotten more attention.” Also trashed Mississippi… House GOP Flacks arrive at weekly meeting to find Cannon Caucus room double-booked. They were forced to move chairs themselves. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Former State Sec George Shultz sports a suit pinstriped with his goddamn name. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Fun scene from Terry McAuliffe’s new book about his daughter playing “mermaid” in a pool with Hillary Clinton… Name expert on ‘08 contenders: Brownback “sounds like a good ‘ol Western boy,” “Mitt is a very ugly name,” “I love Vilsack because it’s foreign.” Karl Rove went to Whose Afraid of Virginia Woolf. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Norm Coleman shows up for a vote, forgets tie. This is apparently a violation of Senate rules. Someone brought him a tie, though, so we can’t kick him out. Also the MN Democratic party lied about him “blocking” the minimum wage bill… Bono kept a “low profile” when he was here last. Despite this we still have to hear about it. [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: At last week’s National Review Institute’s Conservative Summit, you missed everyone passing around a doctored version of Rita Cosby’s business card with “For a good time, call…” printed on it… “Sen. Jeff Sessions, R-Ala., was spotted walking out the back door of that lobbyist mecca, Capital Grille.” [Politico]
* Page Six: JFK and Robert Stack will get you laid! [NYP]
* Rush & Molloy: Republicans hate Rudy. [NYDN]

Iowa guv Tom “The Sack” Vilsack stunned the nation with his incredibly creepy Orwellian campaign propaganda, but then he pretty much vanished.

Does anyone actually believe Vilsack has a chance in hell of even winning the Iowa caucus, let alone the nomination? Yes, and his name is Hugo Chavez.

Thanks to “Phil” for the picture.

Let’s hope all 2008 campaign advertising is as creepy as this unofficial Obama For President poster. MORE »

* Reliable Source: The RS column is 15 years old… Lloyd Grove is unemployed, spends all of his time drinking gin and watching Judge Judy. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: John Kerry is the illegitimate son of Cookie Monster. Also, clearly high… Dan Berger: A lobbyist who paints! [Examiner]
* Washington Whispers: Hillary Clinton voted most Reagan-esque in poll. This, bizarrely, is a positive… Bill Clinton skipping Davos World Economic Forum to write book… Susan Collins gave Joe Lieberman a chocolate gavel, “Choo-choo choose you” valentine… Tom Vilsack doesn’t have time to read, skims first sentence of each paragraph, every other page. [USN&WR]
* Page Six: Al Gore sits on the board of Apple, who hate trees and the environment and shit. [NYP]

Tom Vilsack remains the only 2008 candidate openly displaying his megalomaniacal intentions, but we’ve become a little less terrified of him after seeing this picture, from someone or other’s Myspace page. MORE »

According to an unimpeachable source — trivia printed on the wrapper of some little swiss-cheese things we just ate — there has never been an “only child” U.S. president. This seems like a good way to weed out candidates right now and save everybody a lot of time and trouble.

Are there any Only Children running or probably running in 2008? We investigate, after the jump.

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Yesterday, we celebrated the presidential candidacy of elaborate po-mo hoax Tom Vilsack with a montage of weird, evil shit his logo looks like. We missed one! The “English Socialist” ideology from 1984!


Finally, a candidate who promises upfront to enslave us all! MORE »