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Posts Tagged ‘tom vilsack’

Vilsack Takes Dive, Makes Bank

Wednesday, March 28th, 2007

Loser Who Dropped Out Praises Own Determination

Monday, March 26th, 2007

Did you hear? Tom Vilsack, the lovable plain-spoken totalitarian furry who was once our next president until he realized he had no money and no one knew who he was just endorsed Hillary Clinton! This is the first sentence of his email: MORE »


Vilsack Short Bus Screeches To a Halt

Monday, February 26th, 2007


As far as sight gags go, Tom Vilsack was a dream candidate. We already miss him so very much, even if everybody else pretty much hates him: MORE »


We Gave Vilsack ‘Buzz’ & He Still Bailed

Friday, February 23rd, 2007

Farewell to da sack. - WonketteAfter a long successful run of endorsing winners like George McGovern, Walter Mondale, Al Gore and John Kerry, the magazine Rolling Stone implied back in November that Tom Vilsack might survive with a little buzz help from Wonkette. MORE »


VILSACK TO DROP OUT OF RACE, TAKE CONTROL VIA VIOLENT COUP INSTEAD

Friday, February 23rd, 2007

Former Gov. Tom Vilsack (D-Iowa) is expected to drop out of the 2008 presidential race on Friday with an announcement set for later in the day, according to sources both in Washington and Iowa.

MORE »


John McCain’s Terrifying New Website

Friday, February 16th, 2007

mccainsite.jpg
JohnMcCain.com relaunched today, and it looks like WALNUTS! is trying to give Tom Vilsack a run for his money in the “unnerving design” department. While Vilsack trades in totalitarian motifs, McCain prefers a dark neo-noir kinda thing, with just a hint of the dictatorial. And a huge, scary picture of him staring at you in great suspicion with angry eyes and clenched teeth. Ok, ok, we’ll vote for you! Just please let our family go, they’re not the ones you want! MORE »


We Will Not Let Tom Vilsack Forget Who He Is

Friday, February 16th, 2007

Wonk’d: Winter Wonderland

Friday, February 9th, 2007

These sightings always bring more questions than answers. Is Tom Vilsack so hard up for publicity that he’ll sit in a window scarfing burgers to get noticed? What makes George Allen think he’s still a member of Congress? Is James Carville sane? Does Donald Rumsfeld need a lawyer for all the reasons we think he does? If Ted Kennedy can get his dog to follow his commands, how come no one else does? Is Chris Matthews sane? Has Norah O’Donnell been watching too much Godfather II? Did Tucker Carlson rub one out to Miss America after their lunch? Keep reading to see what’s making us wonder about this stuff, plus a former congressman who travels with the kind of luggage you don’t carry if you want to get your gayness fixed.

MORE »


Tornadoes Kill 14, Save Us From Chris Matthews

Friday, February 2nd, 2007

The Democrats are having a grand old time at their Retreat today — telling ghost stories, staying up late, falling backwards into each other’s arms — so MSNBC is doing what they do best: wall-to-wall political coverage. MORE »


Gossip Roundup: Splash

Tuesday, January 30th, 2007

* Heard on the Hill: Mary Landrieu said: “I often think we would have been better off if the terrorists had blown up our levees. Maybe we’d have gotten more attention.” Also trashed Mississippi… House GOP Flacks arrive at weekly meeting to find Cannon Caucus room double-booked. They were forced to move chairs themselves. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Former State Sec George Shultz sports a suit pinstriped with his goddamn name. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Fun scene from Terry McAuliffe’s new book about his daughter playing “mermaid” in a pool with Hillary Clinton… Name expert on ‘08 contenders: Brownback “sounds like a good ‘ol Western boy,” “Mitt is a very ugly name,” “I love Vilsack because it’s foreign.” Karl Rove went to Whose Afraid of Virginia Woolf. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Norm Coleman shows up for a vote, forgets tie. This is apparently a violation of Senate rules. Someone brought him a tie, though, so we can’t kick him out. Also the MN Democratic party lied about him “blocking” the minimum wage bill… Bono kept a “low profile” when he was here last. Despite this we still have to hear about it. [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: At last week’s National Review Institute’s Conservative Summit, you missed everyone passing around a doctored version of Rita Cosby’s business card with “For a good time, call…” printed on it… “Sen. Jeff Sessions, R-Ala., was spotted walking out the back door of that lobbyist mecca, Capital Grille.” [Politico]
* Page Six: JFK and Robert Stack will get you laid! [NYP]
* Rush & Molloy: Republicans hate Rudy. [NYDN]