tom vilsack
Alabama Sen. Jeff Sessions: Are There No Workhouses?
The Daily Caller has an uncharacteristically non-shitty (we mean, it’s not totally non-shitty, but it definitely downplays the shittiness) story about the number of children who are getting government food assistance. That number is more than one in four, which is a lot of families who otherwise might not have food on them! Reporter Caroline [...]
White House Absolutely Loved Shirley Sherrod Firing, Documents Show
Internal e-mails concerning the firing of Shirley Sherrod have been released to media organizations that requested them, and it turns out the USDA and White House acted pretty much like everyone thought they had! “Just wanted you to know that this dismissal came up at our morning senior staff meeting today,” said the White House’s [...]
Vilsack Says He Tried Quitting, And That Immigrants Fondle Your Cheap Food
Tom Vilsack has had some not-fun times lately, according to prominent body language experts, due mostly to that one time he fired Shirley Sherrod for being racist because Andrew Breitbart told him to. Like many Washington politicians looking for redemption do, Vilsack gave his side of the story in a long talk with the Politico, [...]
Shirley Sherrod Displays Best Body Language Ever In Vilsack Press Conference
Oh look, our pal Shirley finally ended her well-deserved weeks of R&R to hold a press conference with Ag Secretary Tom Vilsack-of-poop about him groveling to get her to come back to the USDA. She decided not to take the job, because who wants to work for Tom Vilsack? That’s not exactly titillating news, but [...]
Shirley Sherrod Doesn’t Want Terrible Job Fixing Racism Everywhere
Tom “The Sack” Vilsack has finally finished going through the Agriculture Department’s HR files, looking for some kind of job he could give to Breitbart victim Shirley Sherrod, to make everyone stop saying such mean things about him continuously. Obviously he couldn’t simply give her the old job back, as this is what’s known as [...]
Michael Steele Caught Trying To Hide $7 Million In RNC Debt
RNC Treasurer Randy Pullen dropped a line to members of the party’s budget committee yesterday just to let them know Michael Steele has hidden about $7 million in debt from him lately. This made the RNC’s “war chest” (boobs) look bigger than usual, so this was a job well done by Mike. However, that is [...]
Republicans Now Furious About Dept. of Agriculture Buying Some Food For Starving Americans
You know who sucks? Poor jobless hungry people in America, that’s who! The famous wingnut blog “The Drudge Report” got some GOP people very, very excited because Drudge posted something suggesting the government spent $1.2 million to purchase “two pounds of ham.” TALK ABOUT PORK SPENDING, HEY-O! But, according to sad pooh-bear agriculture secretary Tom [...]
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