Putting to rest any remaining speculation that he is completely delusional about his place on the American political scene, Congressman Tom Tancredo dropped his bid for the Presidency, saying he realized he wasn’t going to win Iowa. He told Neil Cavuto “We accomplished everything we set out to do, except win the Presidency,” because he saw Giuliani running a border security commercial He’s throwing his “support” behind the illegal-immigrant employing, Mexican Mormon descended Mitt Romney. [CNN]

Updated after the jump with a video clip from his Cavuto interview, so you can cry along with the Minutemen who still don’t trust Huckabee to shoot enough Mexicans to make a difference. MORE »

The Federal Election Commission approved $19 million in matching funds for seven candidates today. Among notables, John Edwards received $8.8 million, and WALNUTS! got what we assume to be an extremely valuable $5.8 million. Huzzah. Most interesting, however, is that Dodd and Biden each received around $1 million, while Tom Tancredo — who is dropping out of the race today (presser at 3 p.m. ET!) — got $2.1 million. So a big wtf there, unless the FEC is playing a prank by giving him 2.1 million pesos instead. [Politico]

Republicans can’t really make up their minds about waterboarding, hiring illegal immigrants, or picking a decent frontrunner. They can, however, develop individual attachments to certain foodstuffs, many of which go on to define their characters in embarrassing (for our purposes) fashion. After the jump, we ask you, readers: Which Republican foodstuff will lace your Jesusy feast next week? And if you’re not Christian, well, you’ll have to eat gruel and fetuses with the Demrats. MORE »

• Hey California and other states that care about the environment: Fuck you! [NY Times]

• So instead of rebuilding the military to face “21st century threats” or whatever, how about we just like keep it the same as it’s been for 60 years? [NY Times]
• We can’t wait until voting starts so that maybe articles like this will actually have some information in them. [Washington Post]
• Tom Tancredo, you will live on in our hearts. [Washington Post]
• Obama don’t give a fuck about you. [Politico]
• Instead of trying not to losing the “women’s vote” the GOP should maybe focus on not losing “everybody’s vote”. Just saying. [The
  Hill]

Tancredo has announced a press conference for tomorrow in Des Moines to make a major campaign announcement. While rampant speculation is that he’ll end his underfunded Presidential campaign for eliminating brown people, we sorta wonder if he’s just being so cryptic so that people will just show up when he talks. [Politico]

• How do you become a nominee if you don’t actually compete in any primaries? Giuliani must be reading the Alan Keyes Guide to Winning Elections. [Wizbang Politics]

• Democrats didn’t fund a border fence, but they did send Tom Tancredo a hammer and a bunch of nails. [Think Progress]
• Wait, do you’re saying that teh gays don’t fuck dead children? [Election Central]
• Have $34m dollars to spend and penchant for gang rape? This yacht’s for you! [Fresh Intelligence]
• Gay conspiracy toddlers who are apparently in fifth grade. [WorldNet Daily]
• Both Republicans and Democrats in Iowa understand that the caucuses are the only things that matter about their state. [Swamp Politics]
  

In 9/11’s new ad, the former mayor of Sanctuary City, USA, is racist. That’s really all we have to say. Not like Tommy Tanks-racist, even slightly less racist thank Mitt “Sanctuary Lawn” Romney. Just usual racist.

Mike Huckabee added another star to his endorsement firmament by locking up Jim Gilchrist (and right out from under Tancredo’s trembling nose, too!). Jim is best (only) known for heading the Minuteman Project, which is a group of crazy anti-brown-people activists that sit in lawn chairs with binoculars watching the border and who would never, ever shoot any unarmed illegal immigrants even if they thought they could get away with it. Jim also warned that Congress providing “amnesty” to illegal immigrants might set off a (presumably armed) insurrection, which was totally not Montana militia-y at all. This is expected to help the Huck as he tries to prove that he hates brown people as much if not more than what all the candidates apparently believe is the average Republican primary voter. [NY Times]

Tom Tancredo, don’t deport this man! He’ll “snipe” all of your political rivals and you’ll win the election by default. Oh, and the Paultard Blimp will be shot down, it seems. [YouTube]

Dear friendly Colorado District Six voters,

Your district is a very red district, which would explain why you have elected Tom Tancredo five times. If anything can explain that! Well, we’d like to offer clemency for your egregious damage to the current state of American politics: Elect a Mexican to take the resigning Tancredo’s open seat in the 2008 election. Need we spell it out? This will mean a Mexican takes Tom Tancredo’s job. Please send us progress reports, as we will be checking in regularly.

kthxbai,
Wonkette

This is Brenda Paz. She was 17 years old when MS-13 brutally murdered her in Virginia for agreeing to testify against the gang in a federal capital murder case. You probably don’t recognize her, which is fine, unless you watched really closely at about second 16 in that repulsive Tancredo ad when they showed this exact picture of her (courtesy of the Shenandoah Police Department) while the scary-voiced narrator says “pushing drugs, raping kids, destroying lives” about illegal immigrants. The fact that they used this picture of Brenda is not only sorta sick, since I know they didn’t have her family’s permission, but also rich with irony because Brenda was probably not a legal immigrant herself.

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