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* No wonder Tom Malin likes Condi so much — check out her firm, toned butt! Clearly she’s been working on those glutes. [Princess Sparkle Pony] MORE »

At long last, after much fanfare and hype, here it is: Wonkette’s exclusive interview with Tom Malin, the gay escort turned Texas state legislature candidate!

We apologize for the delay in bringing this to you. We meant to publish it yesterday, when it took place. But as you can see, we were otherwise occupied into the afternoon and evening on Thursday — covering the breaking news of Jessica Simpson’s visit to the Capitol, among other things. (Rumor has it that she was at the Point last night; can anyone confirm?)

Here are a few highlights from the interview — Tom Malin’s views on selected subjects:

* Rep. Katherine Harris: “Oh my GOSH. Did you see her TITS? She is a total BABE!”
* Republicans: “Republicans would have gays and lesbians in concentration camps if they could. I think they would close down public education. I think women and minorities would be so marginalized.”
* Condoleeza Rice: “She is balanced and fair. I believe she is compassionate. I wouldn’t want to meet her in a dark alley though. She is tough!”
* Jeff Gannon: “Everyone has seen my naked ass. Would love to see his.”

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg; there’s much, much more, after the jump. Not to be missed: professional make-up tips from Malin, a former Mary Kay Cosmetics salesman, to Hillary!

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No, dear readers, this is not yet the main event; our promised interview of Tom Malin is still to come. But to tide you over, here’s a little teaser — some foreplay, if you will — to whet your appetite.

After the jump, our initial IM conversation with Tom Malin, the former gay escort who ran (unsuccessfully) for the Texas state legislature.

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Does everyone remember Tom Malin — you know, the former gay prostitute and Mary Kay cosmetics salesman, who recently mounted an unsuccessful bid for the Texas state legislature? MORE »

* Oh, the fun we have! Chris Matthews’ friends laughed at Kim Eisler, then Wonkette’s friends laughed at Chris Matthews’ stationery.
* But no one laughed at Jack Kingston’s attempt to cop some street cred.
* Ports, Ports, Ports.
* Having saved David Gregory’s job, we are expecting to be the next recipient of one of his giggly drunk international calls. It’s only fair, Dave.
* We witnessed the all-too-soon end of Take Your Legislator To Lunch day. To everyone’s disappointment.
* Wolf met Jack, and it looks like we made it through the post without a Brokeback Mountain joke! Good work all, drinks all around.
* We called Pat Roberts, and he didn’t seem particularly happy to hear from us. Sometimes we just think funny things…
* They may not be able to convince the International Community that they’re a responsible governing body, but Hamas has convinced 10-year-old girls across the world that martyrs are totally cute.
* Ex-prostitute Tom Malin is not an ex-gay ex-prostitute. He is also, unfortunately, not a Texas State Representative.
* We got drunk at the Press Club! With bloggers! Which son do you think Mrs. Reed is prouder of: Lou, or the one who edits that libertarian magazine?
* Is the military censoring Wonkette? Not exactly, unless you have a pretty liberal definition of “censoring.” But someone doesn’t like us, that’s for sure.
* The State Department is, apparently, a hotbed of bitchy gossip and infighting. Obviously, we’ll be much more interested in it from here on out. U.S. Ambassador to Sudan: “Where’s your prophet now?”
* Is it just us, or were there like fifty identical poll results released this week that were all treated as breaking news? Anyway, we just liked the ones that came with graphics.

What kind of world is it where Tom DeLay cleans up in his primary and Tom Malin loses? Is there a sadder headline to start your day with than “Ex-Prostitute Candidate Loses“? MORE »

This may soon be moot, since early returns suggest that Tom Malin has lost to Jack Borden in the Democratic primary for Texas District 108. After today, we’ll have to find some other ex-prostitute running for office to make fun of.

But here at Wonkette, we’re all about accuracy, so we’d like to make this correction anyway. To the extent that any of our prior coverage suggested that Malin was an ex-gay ex-prostitute — i.e., someone who was rejecting both his past life as a prostitute and homosexuality — we apologize. It appears that Malin is still gay; he’s just no longer a prostitute.

After the jump, two reader emails on the subject.

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* Duke Cunningham gets the longest sentence ever given to a congressman: 8 years and 4 months. MORE »

Okay, we’ll admit it. We fell for this spam email — hook, subject line, and sinker: MORE »