Wonkette

* Democrats would make Tim Johnson get a brain transplant before letting Tom Daschle run again. [Election Central]
* Tom Tancredo loves guns so much he felt the need to mo-vlog about it. [Congress Blog]
* It’s an open secret among shitty journalists that Ron Paul will talk to anybody. [YouTube]
* Corrupt-as-shit Justice Department thinks Ted Stevens and his frankenhouse are too corrupt to listen to. [Think Progress]
* Bill O’Reilly: didja hear he’s conservative? [HuffPo]
* In Barry Hussein Obama’s America, everyone can get a new liver when they need it. [Scrappleface]
* Wonkette “West Coast Bureau Chief” Ken Layne talks shit about Our Leaders on “America’s Earliest Morning Show with Peter Tilden” every Thursday morning at maybe 3:20 a.m. Eastern time? ABC News & Talk Channel (SIRIUS-143 / XM-124). [KABC-AM]

* Tom Daschle will see if he’s got what it takes to sink the Obama campaign. [Political Wire]
* Walnuts! campaign too broke to have separate interns for coffee and donuts. [On Call]
* Even testimony from a “natural family planning” advocate gets a director’s cut. [My Left Nutmeg]
* British hostages in Iran subject to the torture of captivity without iPod. [thisislondon]
* University of Florida soon to have a Jeb Bush School For Kids Who Don’t Read Good. [alligator]
* Australian humor mostly lost on Hillary. [PrezVid]
* Google Maps-Darfur genocide mash-up — is there anything it can’t do? [Reuters

Those interested in the commuting, eating, and theater habits of John Bolton , Evan Bayh, Grover Norquist, and Sam Donaldson will find this week’s Wonk’d to their taste. Those more interested in the handjob “Tucker Carlson” got in a KFC bathroom from one of DC’s famous tranny hookers will also be well served by reading on.

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A source close to the Johnson family told us this little tale last night. MORE »

Politics is 99% image, the other half is kissing babies. Jim Ramstad knows that and his top-down-screaming-out, “money ain’t a thing” lifestyle is letting you know he’s skipping the 8th step — no apologies. Michael Hayden isn’t apologizing either, he likes the European futbol and doesn’t give a damn if it’s the 4th of July. Mike Piazza’s not running for anything but he knows the voters love the Magnum P.I. style, and Bill Bennett’s not running either, but he probably should start, for his health.

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* House Republicans will issue 600-plus-page report on Wednesday that harshly criticizes all aspects of the government’s response to Katrina: “It was a failure of leadership. In this instance, blinding lack of situational awareness and disjointed decision making needlessly compounded and prolonged Katrina’s horror.” [WP, NYT]
* Cheney accidentally shoots companion during hunting trip in Texas. Mary Matalin: “He felt badly, obviously. On the other hand, he was not careless or incautious or violate any of the [rules]. He didn’t do anything he wasn’t supposed to do.” [WP, NYT, USAT, WT]
* Rep. Jane Harman (D-Calif.) and Tom Daschle believe eavesdropping is necessary but doubt Bush has the legal authority. [WP, LAT]
* Dean says Cheney should resign if he was involved in the leaking of Valerie Plame’s identity. [NYT, WT]

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• Former Sen. Tom Daschle (D-S.D.) says Congress rejected White House request for the authority to eavesdrop on U.S. citizens: “I can state categorically that the subject of warrantless wiretaps of American citizens never came up. I did not and never would have supported giving authority to the president for such wiretaps. I am also confident that the 98 senators who voted in favor of authorization of force against al Qaeda did not believe that they were also voting for warrantless domestic surveillance.” [WP, WP]
• Congress has turned on Bush. Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.): “What you have seen is a Congress, which has been AWOL through intimidation or lack of unity, get off the sidelines and jump in with both feet.” [WP, LAT]
• Republican lawmakers “largely have themselves to blame for the muddled and haphazard finale of the Congressional session.” [NYT]
• House and Senate extend the Patriot Act for five weeks, pushing fight into the new year. [WP, NYT, LAT]
• Bush approves reduction of U.S. combat forces in Iraq; troop level could fall to 130,000. [WP, USAT]
• John Yoo, “a mere deputy assistant attorney general in the legal counsel office,” was the main author of controversial legal policies; viewed as an aggressive force among conservative legal scholars. Yoo: “If you’re being criticized for what you did and you believe that what you did was right, you shouldn’t take it lying down. You should go out and defend yourself.” [NYT]
• Michael Brown warned Tom Ridge in 2003 that the bureaucracy of the DHS would strangle FEMA’s effectiveness: “People became distracted from the mission, because we spent so much time and energy fighting for resources and working on reorganization. It just disintegrated our capacity.” [WP, WT]

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• Karl Rove is under pressure in the White House to, “at a minimum,” issue an apology; Patrick Fitzgerald may still charge him with making false statements. Strategist: “Karl does not have any real enemies in the White House, but there are a lot of people in the White House wondering how they can put this behind them if the cloud remains over Karl.” [WP]
• Democrats are trying to frame ‘06 to their advantage; slogan “Together, American Can Do Better” is displayed at events and national platform will be unveiled. [NYT, LAT, LAT, WT, USAT]
• Congressional Democrats join John McCain in calling for better treatment of detainees. [WP]
• Scott McClellan’s “credibility is already on trial,” his “reputation has been left dangling in the glare of the television lights.” [NYT]
• Tuesday’s gubernatorial elections in Virginia and New Jersey will be an “early measure” of ‘06. [WSJ]
• Bush will be met with widespread anti-Americanism on his upcoming trip to South America. [WP, WSJ]
• Administration’s flu plan criticized on Capitol Hill. [NYT]
• House Republicans are willing to cut food stamp program for 300,000 legal immigrants in effort to shave down the budget. [WP]
• Lawmakers turn out in force for funeral of Rosa Parks. [WP, NYT]
• Harry Reid’s idea for a closed-session originated from Tom Daschle. Charles Schumer: “My phones have been ringing off the hook… It has played far better than we had thought.” [WP]
• Former Deputy Interior Secretary said Jack Abramoff offered him a job while he was at the department. [NYT]
• Michael Chertoff unveils border security plan. [USAT]

• Harry Reid, in surprise move, will vote against Roberts, citing concerns about women’s rights and civil rights. [WP, NYT, LAT, WT]
• Republican unity tested by divisions over how to cover high costs of Katrina relief. [WP, NYT]
• Democrats brace for strategic battle over O’Connor’s seat. [WSJ, WT]
• Arrested official did not disclose links to “controversial foreign clients”; Democrats cite arrest as need for independent inquiry into Katrina response. [WP, NYT]
• Nine Americans killed in Iraq over the past two days. [WP]
• House, Senate negotiators agree on $6b in tax breaks for Katrina relief. [WSJ]
• Bush praises Mississippi for “moving forward.” [WP]
• Katrina has not altered views on poverty; majority favored policy action a year ago. [USAT]
• Lawmakers milk Katrina to push pet causes. [LAT]
• Eight governors request investigation in gouging at the pumps. [NYT]
• Daschle interested in ‘08? [WP]