Tag Archives: tom corbett

  Follow The Money...And Hold Your Nose

Big Oil: All Your Tax Dollars Are Belong To Us

Worth every penny
This post supported by a grant from the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for coverage of oil spills, pipelines, fracking, and subsidizing our own demise via Global Warming Just in case you were wondering, America is still shoveling huge amounts of taxpayer money at fossil fuel companies, because without tax incentives, the poor dears would be unable to turn a profit. Or at least, unable to pile up higher record profits. And we’d never have any jobs ever again! Or something. The Guardian brings us a fun investigation of just a few of the wonderful ways in which the world’s richest corporations are receiving big taxpayer bucks — and would you believe the subsidies for each of the three projects they looked at just happened to be pushed by politicians who received nice fat campaign contributions from the oil industry? You would? Gosh, that’s pretty cynical of you. Keep it up. Read more on Big Oil: All Your Tax Dollars Are Belong To Us…
  Two Cheers For Pennsylvania (Some Conditions Apply)

Pennsylvania Gov Corbett Accepts Filthy Obamacare, Nation Weeps For Lost Innocence

skeptical nurse is skeptical
After a year of negotiations, Pennsylvania has gotten federal approval for its alternative to Medicaid expansion, which will insure about 600,000 low-income Pennsylvanians through payments to private insurers. The benefits will be stingier than the federal Medicaid program, and will add some extra bureaucracy, but Republican Gov. Tom Corbett gets to call it market-based and not quite Obamacare, exactly, so that’s a pretty fair trade-off for delaying insurance for poor people for over a year. Read more on Pennsylvania Gov Corbett Accepts Filthy Obamacare, Nation Weeps For Lost Innocence…
  Another edition of excellence in GOP lady outreach

Pennsylvania Gov Wants To Make It Easier For The Ladies To Buy Booze And Make Him Some Sammiches

Hey ladies! GOP wants you to run for Congress!
So this is a little awkward. Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Corbett (R-Obviously, As You Shall See) has a swell idea to reach out to the ladies, because we all know how great Republicans are at that. (That’s sarcasm. Lots of sarcasm. ALL THE SARCASM.) Read more on Pennsylvania Gov Wants To Make It Easier For The Ladies To Buy Booze And Make Him Some Sammiches…
  hey remember obamacare?

How Obamacare, John Roberts, and Pennsylvania (Nearly) Screwed My Mom

“He said, ‘If you like your plan, you can keep your plan.’ Oh yeah?” This was my mother yelling at the president, which I hadn’t heard her do since Bush II. This was a woman who can hardly believe how much the Republican Party has changed since she registered to vote for Richard Nixon. Who voted for Obama twice. “And I would again,” she says. “I really think he’s been good.” But that night on the phone, a hundred miles away, she sounded like she was rehearsing a CPAC keynote. She reminded me of an angrier, Philly-inflected Julie Boonstra, the Michigan cancer patient whose Obamacare “horror story” gave the Koch-backed group Americans for Prosperity an undeniably effective multimedia weapon in February. I was skeptical. I knew that the Boonstra story actually ends with a Washington Post fact check finding that, far from being disadvantaged by Obamacare, Boonstra “will save more than $1,200 a year.” So, I started asking questions. And it turned out that my mom did indeed seem to be getting screwed. Read more on How Obamacare, John Roberts, and Pennsylvania (Nearly) Screwed My Mom…
  stupor tuesday

A Children’s Treasury Of Primary Election Results. Neither Crazy Idaho Guy Won :(

In the closest thing to a “Super Tuesday” in this off-year election, a whole bunch of Tea Party candidates did worse than expected against “mainstream” Republicans who had better funding and who all sound like teabaggers now anyway. The biggest win of the night was less of a surprise now than it might have been a couple months back: Senate Minority Leader Mitch “Lord Terrapin” McConnell easily won his Kentucky Senate primary against Louisville businessman and chicken-boxing enthusiast Matt “B’kaww!” Bevin. Looks like institutional money and power are everything they’re cracked up to be. McConnell will face Democrat Alison Lundergan Grimes in November, and in his victory speech charmingly suggested that she is not a real Kentucky candidate, but a big Fakey McFakerton who will cram Obamacare down your throat, warning, “The people who handpicked my opponent are not on your side.” And so the Charm Offensive begins. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Primary Election Results. Neither Crazy Idaho Guy Won :(…
  Undaunted Courage

Dumb Pennsylvania Democrat Doesn’t Even Know She Is Supposed To Run Screaming From Obamacare

Here’s how “cray-cray” the “conventional wisdom” has “gotten” for the 2014 midterms: according to our pals at Talking Points Memo, it’s apparently really bold and out-there that Pennsylvania Rep. Allyson Schwartz is actually running on Obamacare instead of away from it. In this ad, Schwartz, who’s seeking the Democratic nomination for governor, says she’s proud of having to helped write the Affordable Care Act, and takes incumbent Gov. Tom Corbett to task for his failure to expand Medicaid in the state. She even promises to push for Medicaid expansion if she’s elected. What kind of weird advertisement is this, anyway? It doesn’t feature even a single bit of footage of Schwartz shooting or cutting the balls off of anything. Freaking weirdo. Read more on Dumb Pennsylvania Democrat Doesn’t Even Know She Is Supposed To Run Screaming From Obamacare…
  not the philadelphia story we prefer

Government Cuts Won’t Hurt Anyone, Except Maybe When A 12-Year-Old Dies Because Her School Had No Nurse

Before you read this story, you may want to make sure you secure any heavy objects nearby, so that you won’t hurl them through your computer monitor. From the Philadelphia City Paper, just one more example of what happens when you make government small enough to drown in a bathtub: Children will die. Sixth-grader Laporshia Massey died from asthma complications, according to her father, who says he rushed her to the emergency room soon after she got home from school on the afternoon of Sept. 25. He says Laporshia had begun to feel ill earlier that day at Bryant Elementary School, where a nurse is on staff only two days a week. This day was not one of those days. Daniel Burch, Laporshia’s father, is angry and wants to know whether Philadelphia’s resource-starved school district failed to save his daughter’s life. The Pennsylvania state legislature has declared war on funding for Philadelphia’s schools, and Laporshia Massey is just part of the collateral damage. Read more on Government Cuts Won’t Hurt Anyone, Except Maybe When A 12-Year-Old Dies Because Her School Had No Nurse…
  one of these things is not like the other

Pennsylvania GOP Governor Logically Compares Gay People To Dumb Little Children

Pennsylvania Republican Governor Tom Corbett is not a happy man. He is bound and determined to stop a county-level municipal employee from spreading human rights and dignity, because that is not appropriate on Corbett’s watch. Since July 24, a Montgomery County official, D. Bruce Hanes, has been issuing marriage licenses to any old Adam and Steve who apply — and has issued 154 marriage licenses to sodomites and lesbomites since then. Gov. Corbett knows that ya gotta keep a close eye on that shit, or pretty soon traditional marriage will be destroyed, which would force cows and goats to marry pineapples, obviously. Gov. Corbett’s administration is not taking this promotion of basic decency sitting down — they are fighting it in court, per Philly.com: In a brief Wednesday, state attorneys said those marriage licenses were never valid, and compared gay and lesbian couples to “12-year-olds” who are also barred from marrying under state law. Come on, 12-year-olds… everyone knows you need to go to Alabama. But while you work on getting those parental consent forms, let’s wonksplore this Pennsylvania issue some more.  Read more on Pennsylvania GOP Governor Logically Compares Gay People To Dumb Little Children…
  i fought the law

Morning Nice-Time: Pennsylvania AG Has Better Things To Do Than Defend Gay Marriage Ban

Well here’s something kind of cool: Pennsylvania’s Attorney General, Kathleen Kane, announced Thursday that she won’t defend the state’s dumb ban on same-sex marriage in a lawsuit because she believes the law is “wholly unconstitutional.” The state has been sued by the ACLU, which is representing 23 Pennsylvania residents* in an attempt to overturn the 1996 law. Republican Governor Tom Corbett, who supports it, will likely assign the case to state general counsel James. D Schultz. Kane’s refusal to defend the law has ignited the predictable grumbling about How Dare She Put Her Personal Preferences Above Her Official Duty, but Kane says she couldn’t defend a law that she believes is illegal: “If there is a law that I feel that does not conform with the Pennsylvania state constitution and the U.S. Constitution, then I ethically cannot do that as a lawyer,” she said. So let’s have a round of applause for an A.G. who actually seems interested in justice, yay! Read more on Morning Nice-Time: Pennsylvania AG Has Better Things To Do Than Defend Gay Marriage Ban…
  everybody must get stoned

Pennsylvania Governor Trying Very Hard To Lose Unemployed Vote: All My State’s Jobless Are Drug Addict Losers

As you know, our running tally of states we do not wish to live in is woefully South-heavy. We’ve had a couple strong Northern contenders but the South keeps rising and rising AGAIN! Today, though, we’ve got one of the original 13 colonies entering our list for a couple good reasons. First, there is no freaking job growth whatsoever and we are already being paid mere pittances by yr Editrix. Next, the governor is edging into severe Rick Scott levels of douche about the poors and the drugs. He doesn’t just demand that the strapping young bucks with t-bone steaks get tested for drugs. No, he kicks it up a notch and points out that the reason there are no jobs in his state is because everybody is lazy AND high: Read more on Pennsylvania Governor Trying Very Hard To Lose Unemployed Vote: All My State’s Jobless Are Drug Addict Losers…
  smiles everyone smiles

Smile, Pennsylvania, You No Longer Have To Suffer The Agony Of Voting!

Good video, Pennsylvania! Very melting pot and clear-skinned and chipper, we’re sure! There may be a little bit of an omission about how 10 percent of your voting populace won’t get to actually vote under your new voter ID law, but we’re sure if they just show up with the birth certificate and the marriage certificate and the name-change order from when they got their sex change and also four other forms of photo ID all notarized and with the raised seal (AND DON’T FORGET THE LONG-FORM!), they too can get state-approved papers in order to exercise their constitutional right of suffrage. Read more on Smile, Pennsylvania, You No Longer Have To Suffer The Agony Of Voting!…
  Capitalism is for Poors

Pennsylvania Governor Gives Taxpayers Opportunity To Donate To Shell Oil

Let’s check in on those laboratories of democracy and see what they’re up to, shall we? Restricting abortion access, perhaps? Passing laws against climate change maybe? Or taking some time off of hating women and science to hate immigrants and college students for a change of pace? Oh, here’s a new one: Tom Corbett, governor of Pennsylvania, is creating a Keystone Opportunity Zone in which Shell Oil will have the Opportunity to not pay any taxes on a plant that will manufacture “a range of plastic products” (like those pictured left), the taxpayers will have the Opportunity to pay for toxic waste cleanup, the community will have the Opportunity to breathe (perfectly EPA-compliant) poisonous air, and teachers and firefighters have the Opportunity to find new jobs! Opportunities for everyone! And on top of it, a plant that makes plastics, which as we know, is what the FUTURE is made of. Read more on Pennsylvania Governor Gives Taxpayers Opportunity To Donate To Shell Oil…
  pig news

Pennsylvania Governor: Just ‘Close Your Eyes’ During That Mandatory Ultrasound

Governor Tom Corbett, leader of Pennsylvania, where Rick Santorum’s grandfather “dug freedom” so that Rick Santorum could be free to pander to broke and bitter God- and gun-clinging Americans, has determined that a mandatory intentionally traumatic ultrasound of the fetus one is deciding not to keep is no big deal, and one should just “close” one’s “eyes” while it’s happening, and imagine what that variably sized zygote looks like, JUST IMAGINE, selfish wenches. And may your imagination end up being conveniently as damning as if you actually did look at the ultrasound screen. Also, what of the sounds from the ultrasound, now that we mention it? In this case, there’s no covering your ears and going “LA LA LA LA LA.” The Pennsylvania bill, as it’s being proposed, requires women to listen to the heartbeat of the fetus. And then don’t forget to pay, on your way to jail, because Obamacare won’t be around to cover any of this. Read more on Pennsylvania Governor: Just ‘Close Your Eyes’ During That Mandatory Ultrasound…
  jobs nobody wants

Farm Animals Are Latest Things Stealing Jobs from Americans

Here is an interesting development that is occurring in Pennsylvania: it appears that we have been so busy worrying about the Mexicans stealing all the jobs from white people that we forgot to watch out for that other problem, which is livestock stealing jobs from humans. Oops! It is pretty much the creepy sci-fi version of “Babe” now, as sheep have started mowing the lawns of public schools while chanting “To your breed, your fleece, your clan be true,” and shooting lasers out of their eyes, because Pennsylvania Governor Tom Corbett decided to make some budget cuts. What is happening in Carlisle, Pennsylvania, and how do we make it stop? Read more on Farm Animals Are Latest Things Stealing Jobs from Americans…