Tag Archives: tom coburn

  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: It’s Anonymous Versus ‘ISIS’ In Battle Of The Nerds (Video)

Rachel's doing her 'splainer gestures a lot tonight
Monday, somebody claiming to be affiliated with ISIS — or at least friendly to them — briefly took over social media accounts for the Pentagon’s Central Command, and posted some stupid threatening-sounding stuff about jihad, as well as a bunch of documents they claimed were classified, but were actually publicly available information. No real security breach, but weird and scary. Read more on Morning Maddow: It’s Anonymous Versus ‘ISIS’ In Battle Of The Nerds (Video)…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Let’s Relive Corrupt Sen. John Ensign’s Sleazy Sex Scandal, Eww (Video)

Wonkette's fiance
A goodly chunk of the Rachel Maddow Show Thursday was devoted to an exclusive story on the John Ensign sex scandal and its fallout, much of which had been hidden away in Justice Department records. You see, Ensign, Nevada’s “other” Senator until his abrupt resignation in 2011, wasn’t merely a family-values horndog who was sexing a staffer. His lover’s husband, Doug Hampton, was also an Ensign staffer, and once the affair ended in 2009, Ensign tried to make things better by getting Hampton a job as a lobbyist — which violated federal laws. Guess which one of the two ended up getting prosecuted for that? Hint: It was not the disgraced Senator, who now plies his trade as a veterinarian in Las Vegas. Hampton pleaded guilty, and Ensign went back to giving shots to poodles. Read more on Morning Maddow: Let’s Relive Corrupt Sen. John Ensign’s Sleazy Sex Scandal, Eww (Video)…
  cool story bro

Boehner And Schumer Engage In Twitter Slap Fight As American Dignity Swirls Further Down Toilet

Politifact gives you FIVE AND A HALF PINOCCHIOS, BOEHNER.
We do so enjoy a little lighthearted, good-natured bicameral smack talk in Congress. Like this exchange between Speaker of the House John Boehner and this other guy, a cousin of very funny comedienne Amy Schumer who also happens to be a Senator. Read more on Boehner And Schumer Engage In Twitter Slap Fight As American Dignity Swirls Further Down Toilet…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Tom Coburn Says Saving Veterans From Suicide Costs Too Much (Video)

Here's what it takes to get Rachel Maddow to cry
It’s certainly not news that suicide among veterans is a big problem. It’s also not news that expanded services for veterans is usually a popular idea. Consider the outrage earlier this year at delays in treatment at Veterans Administration hospitals, which resulted in the resignation of Eric Shinseki. And so it was pretty encouraging last week that, even in this do-nothing Congress, the House managed to pass the Clay Hunt Veterans Suicide Prevention Act, named after a Marine veteran who committed suicide in 2011 after being diagnosed with PTSD. There’s also broad bipartisan support for the bill in the Senate. Only one small problem: retiring Sen. Tom Coburn, who has placed a hold on the bill because its $22 million cost over five years is just too unspeakably high, and because, he says, the bill duplicates other services the VA could provide without new legislation. Read more on Morning Maddow: Tom Coburn Says Saving Veterans From Suicide Costs Too Much (Video)…
  Listen to the man with an onion around his belt

John McCain Snarls At Young GOP Punks To Get Off His Lawn

Ugh, kids these days
Sure, you might think the whole Republican Party has gone round the bend and off the deep end about President Obama’s decision to destroy America (again!) with his unprecedented executive action on immigration. But no, that is A Illusion because a few young congressional newbies are making it look that way. So sayeth Sen. John Bitterpants McCain, always the voice of reason and rationality (unless there is a slight problem with The Economy, in which case drop everything and proceed immediately to crapping in your Depends, or unless someone somewhere isn’t currently being bombed). Read more on John McCain Snarls At Young GOP Punks To Get Off His Lawn…
  Countdown To Imspeechment

A Children’s Treasury Of Preemptive Hissy Fits On Obama’s Immigration Speech

Real wrath of God type stuff
We hear that the president’s giving a speech tonight — not that the broadcast teevee networks will bother carrying it — and while the full details of the executive action aren’t out yet, Republicans know it’s pretty bad. Here are just a few of the Psychic Predictions of disaster they’re floating: Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Preemptive Hissy Fits On Obama’s Immigration Speech…
  We Have always Been At War With Crustacea

You Will Be Outraged By The Tax Dollars Not Spent On This Dumb Science Thing!

Boondoggle! Government Waste! Volcano Monitoring!
You probably heard about the terrible waste of money where the National Science Foundation threw three million dollars at some stupid scientists who ran shrimp on a treadmill, we bet. It was big news in 2008, and kept on being huge news. Sen. Tom Coburn and Mike Huckabee (God’s Flatulent Instrument on Earth) both cited it as just the worst of a whole laundry list of useless waste in government spending. Here’s Huckabee’s version: Read more on You Will Be Outraged By The Tax Dollars Not Spent On This Dumb Science Thing!…
  he seems nice

James Lankford Is Your New Senator, Oklahoma, Congratulations He Is Terrible

Oklahoma state Senator Connie Johnson may do a POWERFUL Maya Angelou — and she does — but she was no match for the combination of dumb and mean that is one Rep. — and now U.S. Senator-elect — James Lankford, who’ll take over for the retiring Doctor Senator Tom Coburn. Should we learn more about James Lankford? Sigh. Read more on James Lankford Is Your New Senator, Oklahoma, Congratulations He Is Terrible…
  fisted by the invisible hand

Republican Alternative To Obamacare: Raise Middle Class Taxes While Yelling ‘Free Market!’

Now don’t you go saying that the Republicans just want to repeal the Affordable Care Act without having any plans for a replacement — as a matter of fact, on Monday, three GOP senators — Tom Coburn, Richard Burr, and Orrin “Giggles” Hatch — introduced an exciting plan that would not only repeal Obamacare, but also replace it with a market-based alternative that is not a huge socialist tax increase on working Americans, because it is a huge free market tax increase on working Americans. For freedom. Read more on Republican Alternative To Obamacare: Raise Middle Class Taxes While Yelling ‘Free Market!’…
  everyone has aids aids aids

How Did You Celebrate World AIDS Day? (Buttsechs)

Happy World AIDS Day (a day late, because drunk)!! Have you celebrated? How, exactly, does one celebrate the 25th annual World AIDS Day? We bought our Editrix a 10-pack of female condoms, because safe sexytimes are good sexytimes. The United States, on the other hand, celebrates by spending billions each year around the globe fighting AIDS. Hooray us, because fighting AIDS is a good thing. The fight against global AIDS started in earnest with President GWB, with a generous assist from President Carter, when he set up the President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief, or PEPFAR. Back in 2003, Congress was willing to fund the hell out of it because that was when the GOP was spending money like a drunken sailor Rick Santorum in a whorehouse petting zoo, because Republican President. Now that the GOP is all focused on debt & deficit (i.e., Dem Prezzy), monies are tight for foreign aid. What’s a President to do? Let’s safe-sexplore.  Read more on How Did You Celebrate World AIDS Day? (Buttsechs)…
  Hasn't that poor chicken been fucked enough already?

Senator Tom Coburn: Obama Is My Friend, Let’s IMPEACH!

Well, kids, since it has been about five whole seconds since some Republican said President Obama should be impeached, it’s about that time again. Who is impeachsplaining at us today? Why, it’s Oklahoma Sen. Tom Coburn (no, not that spackle-brained dick weasel Oklahoma senator, but the other one). And why are we IMPEACH!ing the president today? Is it for presidenting while black? Or IRSgate? Or that new puppy? No! It is because of a new standard Sen. Coburn just discovered (read: invented) that did not exist in the era of George W. Bush but it is now a high crime and misdemeanor. And what is this new standard? Why, it is uncompetency! “What you have to do is you have to establish the criteria that would qualify for proceedings against the president and that’s called impeachment” Coburn said, responding to a question about holding President Obama accountable. “That’s not something you take lightly and you have to use a historical precedent of what that means. I think there’s some intended violation of the law in this administration, but I also think there’s a ton of incompetence of people who are making decisions.” Sure, that makes sense. After all, Republicans are especially outraged at how Obama so incompetently mishandled the response to Hurricane Katrina four years before he actually became president, but so what, that’s just, like, semantics. Read more on Senator Tom Coburn: Obama Is My Friend, Let’s IMPEACH!…
  dumber and dumberer

Tom Coburn Says Murdering Economy To Stop Obamacare May Backfire

There are two surefire ways to tell if you have a really stupid idea. The first is to ask whether or not you are a Republican. If yes, the idea is likely stupid. If that doesn’t convince you, then look around and see if other conservative asshats are calling you a moron. If both things happen, you can be pretty sure you are a dumbfuck of the highest order. So whose dumbfuckery are we taking note of today?  Take it away, TPM: Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK) told conservative writer Byron York that, while he’d “love” to cut funding for the new health care law, it’s an unrealistic push by the handful of GOP senators who have pledged to oppose any continuing resolution or appropriations bill that funds Obamacare. Hahahaha. This guy is from OKLAHOMA, which is redder than Rick Santorum’s ass on nickel butt-fuck night, and he is calling the idea unrealistic. What kind of mindless, far-right ideologues are trying to shut down the government and crash the global economy to make a point? Let’s find out.  Read more on Tom Coburn Says Murdering Economy To Stop Obamacare May Backfire…
  freedumb and dumber

FreedomWorks: Protection From Domestic Violence Is For Wusses

Have you been avoiding reading anything about the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) because opposition to it is just too fucking depressing? US TOO. But now none of us can avoid it no more not ever, because the Editrix decreed that we read some things and write a thing about it. Do you know how hard it is to find something funny about opposition to VAWA? DO YOU??? Read more on FreedomWorks: Protection From Domestic Violence Is For Wusses…
  A Sphincter Says What?

Oh Paul Ryan, David Brooks Can’t Stay Mad At You!

What is Paul Ryan’s biggest mistake, you might be wondering — and yes, we know! It’s hard to pick just one! But if, for some reason, we were going to try, would we pick Ryan’s sponsorship of a personhood amendment? Or maybe the Ryan Plan, which would turn Medicare into a voucher program? Or oh — what about saying that voting for the Iraq War gave him “more foreign policy experience than Obama”? No, stupid, it was none of those things, it was refusing to vote for the Simpsons-Bowles Proposal, as David Brooks explains to us in a column called “Ryan’s Biggest Mistake.” Read more on Oh Paul Ryan, David Brooks Can’t Stay Mad At You!…
  our flourishing democracy

Tom Coburn Derailing Entire Senate Over Funding For Bike Paths

Hey, is there a major important bill that Congress is trying urgently to pass to avoid one or another type of needless catastrophic shutdown? Sure, it’s “a day.” This time: something about “funding for the FAA and highway projects and 80,000 jobs” that is very socialist-sounding, which is mean old coot Tom Coburn’s cue to get directly in the way of any of these things continuing to exist. Seriously, what’s so bad about this bill, Tom Coburn? Is it stacked full of riders to install free abortion clinics in every mall Starbucks, or possibly free weekly massages for Guantanamo inmates? Nah. It’s that provision with money for bike paths and trees he just can’t get past. Read more on Tom Coburn Derailing Entire Senate Over Funding For Bike Paths…
  insane in the brain

Tom Coburn Will Murder Congress, Elderly, Medicare

There are a bunch of “insane things Tom Coburn said in one single day” floating around on the Internet for some reason (August news cycles), so let us do a neat little paraphrase to sum up his wingnut brain diarrhea spree: “The end of the world is in 16 months, I will shoot everybody in Congress because everybody is a giant hooker with herpes, and speaking of useless why are the elderly always demanding free government crack to sprinkle into their Metamucil? Shoot them too. And: Barack Obama loves welfare because he is black, if you haven’t noticed.” There you have it! Tom Coburn feels better in the Satanic Oklahoma heat now that he has this off his chest. By what margin is this summation actually “a slight exaggeration, if any?” Read more on Tom Coburn Will Murder Congress, Elderly, Medicare…