Tag Archives: tom barrett

  apocalypse now

Live Bloog 2: Wisconsin Recall Television Bloogaloo

“Hey” — Barack Obama. Hello, it is almost time for your live-bloog of the tellyvision to begin, where we will sit and watch it for the next three hours or so and all tear our hair at the same time shrieking WHERE IS WAUKESHA? (It is in Wisconsin, idiot. Everybody knows that.) No no no, WHERE ARE THE WAUKESHA VOTES? Oh right, they are in Kathy Nickolaus’s toolshed, behind the Miracle-Gro. FOR SAFETY you guys, leave Kathy Nickolaus alone! Anyhoo, get your beverages. Your Wonkette is out of beer and wine, and the rest of her liquor bottles have one half inch of EXTREMELY SUSPICIOUSLY watery-looking liquor in the bottom of each. (Teen kid.) But there is one new bottle of Stoli, ice, and limes. See you on the flip side. Read more on Live Bloog 2: Wisconsin Recall Television Bloogaloo…
  vote for the one with the pants

Your Constantly Updated Wisconsin Recall Liveblog! (Send Us Pix/Stories!)

Only a few more hours until cherished Wisconsin krusher of collective action Scott Walker fends off some old liberal and destroys progressive politics forever! Or the old liberal pulls off the comeback upset of the decade and fends off Scott Walker and allows progressive politics to gradually stroll to its own destruction instead! Either way, the winner is clearly progressive politics. Huh? Here are some things that are happening in Wisconsin on this day, the day of St. Ronaldus Magnus Jr.’s recall election. (UPDATE: The lady who runs Wonkette has decided to turn this into a un-timestamped-but-still-livebloggy mcdongle type thing, so just keep refreshing for all of the important updates about “cheese state politics.”) Read more on Your Constantly Updated Wisconsin Recall Liveblog! (Send Us Pix/Stories!)…
  douches of liberty

Your Monday Wisconsin Recall Round-Up: Bambi’s Mom Wants You To Vote Scott Walker

Oh, whoops, did Your Wonkette just get itself “targeted” by DHS? Well, IT IS WORTH IT, to bring you these important stories from the nation’s cheese factory, the late great state of Wisconsin. First up! Chuck Norris sees your Bill Clinton, raises you a Chuck Norris! Wisconsin Democrats, Washington elite and insiders, and liberal special interests have joined together to fight for the recall of Gov. Scott Walker in Wisconsin in Tuesday’s election. But last Friday, when I saw them also send in the big guns, former President Bill Clinton himself, against Gov. Walker, I knew I had to enter the ring, too. But will he fight Bill Clinton with mixed martial arts, or with the power of his self-regard? Read more on Your Monday Wisconsin Recall Round-Up: Bambi’s Mom Wants You To Vote Scott Walker…
  shucking and jibing

Black Congresswoman Is Black

Ghost Andrew Breitbart simply does not care for this “screeching screaming song and dance” performed by Democratic (did we not already say she was black?) Congresswoman Gwen Moore. But why? What could they possibly have against this nice lady’s funny Def Jam Poetry about Scott Walker’s sleazy voter nullification and everything else he has ever done? Read more on Black Congresswoman Is Black…
  funtimes

Watch Tom Barrett Tell Scott Walker He Is a Miserable Weiner (VIDEO)

Here is Democratic candidate for Wisconsin governor Tom Barrett telling off hated weasel face and current Republican governor Scott Walker in last night’s second and final debate before the recall election on June 5. Tom Barrett is of course wasting his breath when he reminds the public that Walker is an amoral tub of turd frosting who exists solely to punish his political enemies rather than to say, govern. But your Wonkette mentions the debate by way of noting who was not there in Wisconsin, at that time or any other time, as this recall campaign has gone on: Barack Obama. No, he’s just hanging out next door in Minnesota, a state that many coastal residents cannot even distinguish from Wisconsin, to fundraise. Might he have had the courtesy to fundraise on the other side of the country, so he at least didn’t look like he was specifically avoiding Wisconsin? Read more on Watch Tom Barrett Tell Scott Walker He Is a Miserable Weiner (VIDEO)…
  let's get ready to ruuuuumble

Here Is Your Great Wisconsin Recall Debate Totally Timed For Maximum Exposure

Hi! Did you know there is a debate tonight between Scott Walker and that other dude, someone Barrett? (Hey, if the DNC doesn’t know Tom Barrett’s name, why should Your Wonkette?) It is so important it will be preempting Book Discussions on CSpan! (It will also be streaming live, here, for you Poors and you Youngs what ain’t got cable.) Go pee, and gather your beverages, and then we will gather here and go WHY IS IT NOT ON CSPAN and click around frantically, together! Read more on Here Is Your Great Wisconsin Recall Debate Totally Timed For Maximum Exposure…
 

Wonk’d: My Assistant Handles That

Today’s Wonk’d — the second this week, after Tuesday’s bonus installment — catches the famous-for-DC and famous-for-famous acting like shrinking violets. Both Wolf Blitzer and Dave Chappelle sidestep admirers, while Tiki Barber and James Carville embrace the zeitgeist. Arlen Specter and Chris Matthews can’t be bothered to acknowledge anyone. But Michael Chertoff is approachable, and America’s Next Top Model hangs out at DC’s current yuppie café. Read on! Ask where to find the celebritocracy, and we provide the answers! Tipsters, you are the lifeblood of Wonk’d. Please keep sending all of your palpitating tips to us via email, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line (along with the name of the spotted famous entity). Muchas gracias! Read more on Wonk’d: My Assistant Handles That…