Wonkette

JOE THE PLUMBER CRIME SPREE PROVEN TRUE: That thing we posted about pin-eyed skinhead Samuel “Joe the Plumber” Wurzelbacher doing election and speeding crimes? The speeding part has been confirmed, by the Toledo Police [Toledo Blade]

One of the seventy-thousand reasons John McCain has a 1% chance of winning the presidency is a dumb tool who called himself “Joe the Plumber” and hoped to get fame and free welfare money as a result of telling a dumb lie to Barack Obama, when Barack Obama was campaigning in this man’s neighborhood. Because he was a creepy looking mouth-breather who didn’t pay his own bills and would get a tax cut under Obama and whose wife had left him to a life of unlicensed work at some other guy’s plumbing business, the McCain campaign naturally decided — in the last weeks of a tightening race — to throw everything behind this unappealing character who represented nothing. And now Joe the Plumber’s trying to vote illegally, too! MORE »

Look at this heartwarming photo from the Toledo Blade. Some nice lady is “welling up with tears” because she can’t breathe anymore! Someday when she is old and gray, she will tell her grandchildren, “I once had the privilege of being choked to death by America’s first black president.” [Toledo Blade]