By the Comics Curmudgeon
I will not lie to you: Sometimes political cartoons can be confusing! Especially for you, the unwashed masses, who never got any proper art education in school because your elected officials decided that Americans needed to know more about “science” and “math” and a bunch of poindextery stuff like that. Fortunately, your Wonkette provides to you, free of charge, explanations of some of the more obscure cartoons, straight from the typing fingers of the world’s only professional cartoon explainer. Join us after the jump, and prepare to be AMAZED AND ENLIGHTENED! MORE »

These toilets were anxious to get out of town this morning before they were forcibly conscripted into acting as poop receptacles for the two MILLION inauguration-going, be-fanny-packed out-of-towners who went to Chili’s last night, but they missed the 6:30 train out of Baltimore Penn Station. Now they are doomed. Pray for them.

Photo courtesy of famed sanitation-box portrait artist Josh Fruhlinger. Send in your own photos of objects or humans in or around DC today to tips@wonkette.com.

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Being a political cartoonist has got to be kind of rough. They’re all getting fired as newspapers downsize, and those that still manage to have a job drawing cartoons, for money, inevitably make political points that alienate at least half of their readers. So you’d think that they might find it enraging that some asshole on the Internet has a whole weekly venue just to make fun of their work, despite the fact that said asshole has no artistic talent himself whatsoever? And yet sometimes these sad souls actually send us their own cartoons, in hope of us mocking them! After the jump, it’s a very special Cartoon Violence, starring the vilest cartoon you can possibly imagine. MORE »

Ice, buses, John Edwards, coffee shops, ethanol, farmers, ice, darkness … is it any wonder the national press corps is having a group nervous breakdown in Iowa? Here are some grim blind-item examples of people with broken hearts and broken minds: MORE »

In Scranton, Pennsylvania (of all the shitholes in the country) a legal victory for the foul-mouthed has been won. Dawn Herb was charged with disorderly conduct when her bastard cop neighbor, Patrick Gilman, called his fucking buddies to complain about her. Patrick said that Dawn was swearing too loudly inside her house (because her goddamn toilet was overflowing) and then ripped him a new asshole when he told her to shut the fuck up. District Judge Terrence Gallagher dismissed the charges against Dawn, ruling that her language was “protected speech pursuant to the First Amendment.” God, I do love when some son-of-a-bitch takes the time to read the motherfucking Constitution. [Boston.com]

* “The Alexandria Young Republicans are please to be hosting its first annual paintball tourney, named in honor of our Vice President and second amendment enthusiast Dick Cheney.” [AYR]
* “I decide to do what anyone else would do: Sleep on a park bench like a homeless person. I cleared off the stray twigs and leaves and curled up in a tight ball, succumbing to sweet sleep. Remember to always sleep in the fetal position when in public in case you are attacked. Fetal position helps protect your vital organs.” [In search of...]
* Finally, the Internet is used in a meaningful way that helps people, changes lives. [Lavatory Lady]
* Elanor Holmes Norton takes fight for Salt Lake City voting rights to the Senate. WP]
* PG County police kill crazy old man with shotgun, reportedly not the Vice President. [WP]