todd palin
Bristol Palin is setting the record straight about ‘putting a ring on it’ vs ‘trial marriage’ (getting dick). Despite her past struggles of tagging hockey players, having a child out of wedlock and pretending to be a Christian, Bristol is super totally not “doing it” with the hot dude your Wonkette said Bristol was totally [...]
Somehow, the Wasilla gravy train has finally run out of steam. What else can explain Todd Palin’s alleged Wasilla mistress/prostitute not getting a six-figure book deal for her story? America has finally grown tired of Sarah Palin and her snowbilly family’s oxycontin exploits. But, just in case you need a final dose, be sure to [...]
Way back in 2007, when Wonkette was literally the only national media actually covering Sarah Palin and her ridiculous role as John McCain’s vice-presidential candidate was still just a stain in Bill Kristol’s underroos, the Wasilla grifter was already planning her divorce from amiable extremist dolt Todd Palin. Emails finally released on Thursday show Sarah [...]
WOAH HO HO! America’s newspaper of record The National Enquirer has a DEF-CON 4 WORLD EXCLUSIVE scoop: Sarah Palin had sex with a black guy, once, in the late 80s, right before she got married! THE CRAZY PART: Todd Palin, he is not black! Sarah Palin had sex with someone who is not Todd Palin! Todd [...]
Teevee Queen of Alaska and former star of “The Learning Channel” Sarah Palin is officially the Iowa State Fair’s Justin Bieber, for the living, breathing human lard monsters who have eaten their own weight times a thousand in fried diabetes on a stick and are now too ill to remember who they are or what [...]
Just yesterday, we celebrated star actress of The Learning Channel, Sarah Palin, and her sweatshirt-glam cover on Newsweek magazine, where she bravely declared, “I can win,” even though she is not in any sort of snowshoe race or Scrabble match at the moment, not that she could possibly win either of those things. The most [...]
Unlike everyone else furiously competing to uncover new humiliating details within Sarah Palin’s thousands of newly released emails like greedy children searching for a Wonka golden ticket, Fox News reporter Greta Van Susteren will just conduct this slanted, simplistic poll about whether the media is being annoying. The answer is still yes! Congratulations, Lame Stream [...]
To go along with the rumors that Todd Palin has had affairs and sexed prostitutes, the National Enquirer is now reporting that Todd Palin has one of those “love children” with a woman who is not Sarah Palin. This is said to “RUIN HER CHANCE FOR WHITE HOUSE,” which would be the most shocking revelation [...]
Yesterday, your Wonkette uncovered a private Facebook account registered to what is (or what was at one time) Sarah Palin’s private e-mail address. Last night, she took to her public Facebook page to refute its authenticity. “On a side note, there’s always buzz about fake Sarah Palin Facebook and Twitter accounts. Please know that this [...]
There exists a rumor that Todd Palin had sex with some Alaska massage lady. Is it true? Doesn’t matter. There was an opening in the media patchwork for a Todd Palin sex rumor, and somebody filled it. Luckily for Palin rumor bloggers, this masseuse is also willing to confirm another Palin rumor, that Sarah Palin [...]
Sarah Palin is sad Sarah Palin’s Alaska is turning on her. Specifically, Sarah Palin’s Alaska’s hookers.
America’s favorite newspaper, the National Enquirer, has another gross scoop about political celebrities boning people they aren’t married to — this time it’s “first dude” Todd Palin, who is accused of repeatedly banging a hooker who was then arrested for being a prostitute. How will Sarah Palin turn this to her advantage? Easy: Everything is [...]
Frequent victim of all things un-American Sarah Palin has told ABC News she and her husband, “Todd,” a whale or polar bear or other some such, have been cyber-attacked by Operation Payback, the group of very nice people, we’re sure, who attacked MasterCard and Visa yesterday for being mean to WikiLeaks. Palin criticized Julian Assange [...]
Sarah Palin gave an interview to something called “Zap2it,” and it turns out she is very proud of Bristol for dancing with the gays on some teevee show. “This is so Bristol, challenging herself, getting out of her comfort zone,” Sarah said, referring to Bristol’s propensity to “try anything once,” even if she’s not using [...]
Joe Miller was on Fox News today, addressing Anger Bear Todd Palin’s e-mail to him. And of course he was asked if he thinks Sarah Palin is qualified to be president, the thing Todd got so upset about that he very suddenly became bad at grammar and spelling. So Joe Miller, ready to put the [...]
