Tag: todd akin

House GOP Bans Abortions After 20 Weeks, Unemployment Rate Somehow Unaffected

To the complete surprise of no Wonketeers anywhere, the House of Representatives yesterday passed their bill aimed at alienating women everywhere outlawing abortions after 20 weeks. The effort, nothing more than an empty gesture to throw red meat to...

Texas Rep. Michael Burgess: Ban Abortion, Because Fetuses Can’t Stop Masturbating

Golly, it's been, what, a whole bunch of hours since someone on the right said something incredibly stupid about abortion, so we guess this is right on schedule: Texas Congressman Michael Burgess (R-Like We Had To Say "R") has...

More Legitimate Advice from a GOP Loser: Todd Akin Un-Ironically Discusses Winning

Seems like there are lots of failed Republicans taking positions on what the GOP should do to stop losing all the time. First, Bob Dole had a sad about the Tea Party on Sunday TeeVee, and the GOP was...

Things You Didn’t Know You Needed To Worry About: Getting Raped By Demons

You may have been under the impression that when Christianists think about rape, they mostly think about how women are either asking for it by not screaming quite loudly enough or dressing like the sluts that everyone knows they...

A Children’s Treasury Of Job Applications For Defeated GOP Wingnuts

Oh, yeah, sure, say Obama "saved the economy" or whatever, and maybe unemployment is "on the way down," by and large, if you're into numbers or blah blah blah, but listen up, little Cleverpants you, because there are people...

Shocker: ‘Legitimate Raper’ Todd Akin Was Really Mean To Women, Has Insane Murdery Friend

Craaaazy news out of Missouri, everybody. You will not believe which of their politicians was arrested eight times at abortion clinics, then got himself elected to the state legislature. Would you believe it was Sen. Todd Akin (R-Uterus)? It was! As...

Oregon Man Protesting To Save God’s Precious Rape-Babies Stabs Other Man Seven Times

Well this does not seem so loving and joyful and Christ-like, but hey, what do we know. An Oregon man who is not Missouri Senate candidate Todd Akin, or Indiana Senate candidate Richard Mourdock, and who's been protesting...

Adorable Right-Wing Group NFIB Displays Feminine Side By Expressing Support For Breast Cancer, Legitimate Rape

We spent most of our lives thinking that breast cancer sucks -- our mother is a breast cancer survivor, after all -- but apparently we were just thinking small, blinded to the huge political opportunity that breast cancer presents...

How Is Todd Akin Helping Claire McCaskill Today?

Oh how SHOCKING! We have just confirmed, via video, that crazy things have been coming out of Todd Akin’s mouth for many years now. For example, did you know that Todd Akin's daughter writes science fiction stories about a...

How Is Missouri Senate Candidate Todd Akin Setting His Compound On Fire Today?

When Republican consultant Kellyanne Conway told Todd "Legitimate Rape" Akin to be more like David Koresh -- the cult leader in Waco whose standoff with the ATF led to the death of 80 of his followers and himself --...

Gentleman Scholar Todd Akin Laments Claire McCaskill’s Loss Of Ladydom

Todd "Legitimate Rape" Akin is back in the Missouri Senate race ... because he never left it, son. Having weathered the storm caused by the liberal media pretending he thinks vaginas are washing machines for rape sperm (truth: he thinks...

Todd Akin Explains Inner Workings of Democracy In Language You Can Understand

Here is a pressing question that might be keeping you up nights, particularly if you live in whatever district in Missouri Todd Akin (R-Ladiesman) represents: What if you want to tell Todd Akin how much he sucks? How do...

North Dakota Senate Candidate Rick Berg Will Send You To Prison For Your Rapebortion

Well well well! Now that we have a sheriff candidate who wants to kill abortionists, a governor who has decided that women are pregnant two weeks before they conceive, a GOP senate candidate who thinks that women can shut...

Karl Rove To Murder Todd Akin, Maybe

Yesterday Karl Rove met with a group of billionaires in a secret room in Tampa, where he suggested that murdering Todd Akin might be an appropriate means of delivering his party to higher, more Senate-controlling vistas. It's about time...

Ha Ha, Look At How Todd Akin’s Campaign Tries To Spin Losing By 10 Points

This morning a Rasmussen poll came out showing Missouri magical fetal dumphead, Rep. Todd Akin, trailing Sen. Claire McCaskill by 10 percentage points, 48% to 38%. Considering that any GOP Senate candidate who can spell his own name was...
the remake looks even worse, if possible

NH Sheriff Candidate: The Constitution Demands I Kill Abortion Doctors

Oh, for fuck's sake. A Republican candidate for Hillsborough County Sheriff said Wednesday that he believes elective abortions are unlawful and he wouldn't reject the use of deadly force to stop them. This is a position we would like to see...