todd akin
Things You Didn’t Know You Needed To Worry About: Getting Raped By Demons
You may have been under the impression that when Christianists think about rape, they mostly think about how women are either asking for it by not screaming quite loudly enough or dressing like the sluts that everyone knows they are, or lying about it so they can murder a babby, or maybe using it as [...]
A Children’s Treasury Of Job Applications For Defeated GOP Wingnuts
Oh, yeah, sure, say Obama “saved the economy” or whatever, and maybe unemployment is “on the way down,” by and large, if you’re into numbers or blah blah blah, but listen up, little Cleverpants you, because there are people who lost their jobs not two days ago. They are Republicans, booted out the door by [...]
Shocker: ‘Legitimate Raper’ Todd Akin Was Really Mean To Women, Has Insane Murdery Friend
Craaaazy news out of Missouri, everybody. You will not believe which of their politicians was arrested eight times at abortion clinics, then got himself elected to the state legislature. Would you believe it was Sen. Todd Akin (R-Uterus)? It was! As hard as it might be to believe, the guy who got all scandalized after [...]
Oregon Man Protesting To Save God’s Precious Rape-Babies Stabs Other Man Seven Times
Well this does not seem so loving and joyful and Christ-like, but hey, what do we know. An Oregon man who is not Missouri Senate candidate Todd Akin, or Indiana Senate candidate Richard Mourdock, and who’s been protesting for months outside a Planned Parenthood that doesn’t even offer abortion services got into a small bit [...]
Adorable Right-Wing Group NFIB Displays Feminine Side By Expressing Support For Breast Cancer, Legitimate Rape
We spent most of our lives thinking that breast cancer sucks — our mother is a breast cancer survivor, after all — but apparently we were just thinking small, blinded to the huge political opportunity that breast cancer presents for misogynist shitbags who want to appear pro-woman without actually doing anything pro-woman. Take, for example, [...]
How Is Todd Akin Helping Claire McCaskill Today?
Oh how SHOCKING! We have just confirmed, via video, that crazy things have been coming out of Todd Akin’s mouth for many years now. For example, did you know that Todd Akin’s daughter writes science fiction stories about a dystopian future wherein child care is widely available and administered with efficiency, and that Todd Akin [...]
How Is Missouri Senate Candidate Todd Akin Setting His Compound On Fire Today?
When Republican consultant Kellyanne Conway told Todd “Legitimate Rape” Akin to be more like David Koresh — the cult leader in Waco whose standoff with the ATF led to the death of 80 of his followers and himself — apparently, Todd Akin listened! So how did Todd Akin set his compound on fire today? Oh [...]
Gentleman Scholar Todd Akin Laments Claire McCaskill’s Loss Of Ladydom
Todd “Legitimate Rape” Akin is back in the Missouri Senate race … because he never left it, son. Having weathered the storm caused by the liberal media pretending he thinks vaginas are washing machines for rape sperm (truth: he thinks they are car washes for rape sperm), Todd Akin now has to figure out how [...]
Todd Akin Explains Inner Workings of Democracy In Language You Can Understand
Here is a pressing question that might be keeping you up nights, particularly if you live in whatever district in Missouri Todd Akin (R-Ladiesman) represents: What if you want to tell Todd Akin how much he sucks? How do you know he will listen to you and absorb what is sure to be thoughtful and [...]
North Dakota Senate Candidate Rick Berg Will Send You To Prison For Your Rapebortion
Well well well! Now that we have a sheriff candidate who wants to kill abortionists, a governor who has decided that women are pregnant two weeks before they conceive, a GOP senate candidate who thinks that women can shut down pregnancy stemming from a “legitimate” rape, and another governor who wants to subject women seeking [...]
Karl Rove To Murder Todd Akin, Maybe
Yesterday Karl Rove met with a group of billionaires in a secret room in Tampa, where he suggested that murdering Todd Akin might be an appropriate means of delivering his party to higher, more Senate-controlling vistas. It’s about time Karl Rove considered this, the murder of Todd Akin. Wasn’t it sort of obvious…?
Ha Ha, Look At How Todd Akin’s Campaign Tries To Spin Losing By 10 Points
This morning a Rasmussen poll came out showing Missouri magical fetal dumphead, Rep. Todd Akin, trailing Sen. Claire McCaskill by 10 percentage points, 48% to 38%. Considering that any GOP Senate candidate who can spell his own name was expected to be leading McCaskill by 10 to 15 points consistently through November, this is considered [...]
NH Sheriff Candidate: The Constitution Demands I Kill Abortion Doctors
Oh, for fuck’s sake. A Republican candidate for Hillsborough County Sheriff said Wednesday that he believes elective abortions are unlawful and he wouldn’t reject the use of deadly force to stop them. This is a position we would like to see more fully fleshed out before we reject it out of hand. Possibly a marauding [...]
Mitt Romney To Nutter Rapey Doctor Last Year: ‘We Agree On Almost Everything’
You may have heard over the past few days of Dr. Jack Willke (because you read Wonkette with slavish devotion), the crazy man who spreads the lie that you can’t get pregnant if you’re goodly and righteously raped. You probably also heard that he was buddy-buddy with Mitt Romney in 2008, because Mitt Romney would [...]
Rep. Joe Walsh Just Doesn’t Get Why Everyone Slammed Todd Akin Like That
Now that Missouri’s finest reproductive sorcerer Rep. Todd Akin is “in it,” by which we mean his Senate race, so as “to win it,” we should expect to see many on the right to start saying, oh well, maybe we were too hard on the ol’ galoot after all. It was just one sentence, right? [...]
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