Wonkette

* Andy Rooney discusses his FOURTEENTH book Out of My Mind at Politics & Prose. Free at 7PM. [P&P]
* Tranquil Space Yoga (in Dupont Circle) founder Kimberly Wilson talks about her book Hip Tranquil Chick: A Guide to Life on and off the Yoga Mat at Olsson’s. Free at 7PM. [Olsson's]
* Emily Haines (Broken Social Scene [UPDATE: Yes, Liz, and Metric]) at the 9:30 Club with The Soft Skeleton and the Tall Firs. [9:30 Club]
* Gail Pressberg discusses The Promise and Politics of Stem Cell Research at Olsson’s. The book features an intro by Mary Tyler Moore, but we don’t think she’ll be there. Feel free to periodically cry “Oh, Rob!” anyway. [Olsson's Event Calendar]
* Or crash a lobbying firm’s office party: The Carmen Group will get you drunk at 7:30 p.m. in the National Music Center and Museum Foundation at the Historic Carnegie Library Building.

* RIAA Platinum, late.
* FBI FBI HQ, 4-6 (good luck)

* Polish American Congress B-369, 5-7
* Association of General Contractors 53 D St, SE, 5-7:30
* Potomac Communications Group 2025 M St, NW #350, 5-8
* Center for Economic & Policy Research 1600 20th St, NW 5:30-7
* Air Transport Assn Lounge 201, 5:30-8
* Am Medical Colleges Willard, 5:30-8
* 21st Century Group 434 NJ Ave, SE, 5:30-8
* Center for National Policy 1 Mass Ave, 6-7:30
* BAE Systems, Phoenix Park, 6-8
* Smith Dawson Andrews Johnny’s Half Shell, 6-9
* U.S. Holocaust Museum 100 Raul Wallenberg, 6:30
* Penn, Schoen, Berland, BKSH, and Burson Marsteller 1110 Vermont Ave, 4-6
* Roll Call Sonoma, upstairs lounge, 6:45 - “whenever Chuck Todd shows up”

* Boeing Hyatt Hotel Thornton, 5-8
* AA’s Association Johnny’s Half Shell, 5:30-8
* AMA Phoenix Park, 5:30-8:30
* Telcom Industry Association Occidental; 1475 PA Av, 5:30-8:30
* Festivus (Fed Home Loan Bd) 1301 PA Ave, NW, 1050 6
* CA State Society Botanic Garden, 6:30-8:30
* Reuters Red Sage 14th&F, 6:30-8:30
* EADS Corcoran Gallery 6:30-9. MORE »

Dharma and some some Scientology lobbyists are throwing a party! We’re a total Clear for Holiday Fun!

* ATF 650 Mass Ave, NW
* National Endowment for Democracy 1025 F St, NW #800, 4-6
* Women’s Policy Inc 2168 Rayburn House Office Building (Gold Room), 4-6
* Aviation Happy Hour Johnny’s Half Shell, 5:30
* Nat’l Assoc of Broadcasters 1771 N St, NW, 6-8
* Williams and Jensen 1155 21st St, 6-8
* Financial Services Forum 601 13th St, NW 6-8
* American Truckers Charlie Palmers, 7-11 MORE »

More crashes in the thread here. Tonight’s roundup: MORE »

More Holiday Party Fun can be found here. MORE »

Go to these, sneak in, drink, take embarrassing photos, note who’s on the list, and report back to us, o minions. (Put our tips e-mail address in your phone now, before you’re really drunk, and send those cam-pix to us tonight. You will remain anonymous, etc.) MORE »