Tag: TMZ

I'm not touching you...OK, I'm tasing and shooting you dead, but not touching you...

Cops Laugh And Chortle And Ho-Ho-Ho To Song About Dead Black Boy

From the "Lighten up, it's only a JOKE" files, we have this delightful little ditty about "Dead, dead Michael Brown, Baddest thug in the whole damn town," which was performed at an Elks Lodge in Glendale, California, following a...
At least he's sorry

NFL’s Roger Goodell Is Useless Goober, Has Better Job Than You

NFL President Roger Goodell held a press conference today in which he apologized for being a completely worthless crapbird in his handling of the league's multiple problems with players who have committed domestic violence and child abuse. He insisted...
Details still trickling in

Palin Rumble Update: Palins Didn’t Start The Fight, They Just Finished It

More details continue to emerge regarding the Great Big Palin Brawl of '14. We aren't going to go into all the various he-said/she-said/she-screeched-like-a-demented-hellbeast scenarios, but the basics are that a whole bunch of Palins got into a punching match...
You can trust him, he's a doctor

Dr. Ben Carson: Stop Demonizing Lady-Beater Ray Rice, He Just Needs Our Help

When you are trying to run for president without the benefit of current elected office or pre-existing celebrity, you have to make good use of the news cycle. Would-be Republican candidate Dr. Ben Carson did not hesitate to jump...

Lost: Joan Rivers’s Sh*t. If Found, Please Back Away Slowly

Joan Rivers had some thoughts about the Palestinians, and how they should probs shut up and die if they were too stupid to get out of Gaza when the going is good. (To where, you ask? How about the...

Alec Baldwin Did Not Gay Slur That Man, But If He Did It Was Shia LaBeouf’s Fault

Here is an oral history of the Trials of Alec Baldwin, and would you believe Alec Baldwin is not to blame for gay slurring that man whom he did not gay slur? ("All this is based on the fact...

Total Non-Homophobe Alec Baldwin Has A Gay Hairdresser, Everyone, Call Off Your Dogs!

Alec Baldwin got in a tetch of trouble the other day for calling a photographer a cocksucking faggot. We did not report on this at the time because "like it is news that Alec Baldwin is being shitty." But...

Sarah Palin Tells Someone Who Is Not Sarah Palin To Get A Clue, Plus Like Three Other Things Jesus She Will Not Shut Up

Unfortunately your browser does not support IFrames. Sarah Palin -- Levi Johnston is a 'DEADBEAT DAD!' - Watch More Celebrity Videos or Subscribe Sweet Jesus there are actually like four separate Sarah Palin items in...

Friday Nice Time: WWE Wrestler Exits Closet, What Are You Gonna Do About It?

As a reward to our loyal readers for slogging through a week of stories that would probably have even the Brady Bunch chugging hemlock together, we present today’s Nice Time, wherein a man who makes his living oiling his...

Justin Bieber Excretes His Manly Essence On Bill Clinton’s Face

Unfortunately your browser does not support IFrames. Justin Bieber Pisses Into Restaurant Mop Bucket -- 'F*** Bill Clinton!' - Watch More Celebrity Videos or Subscribe Above you see TMZ's adorable footage of 9-year-old lesbian Justin...

Bob Woodward: I Am Terrible In Bed

When the honest to God actual journalists at TMZ (seriously; have they ever been wrong about anything?) ran into Hero of American Journamalism Bob Woodward, they had some important questions at the ready, like "why are you the worst...

The Fairy Tale Crumbles: Tarp Palin Divorcing That Chick He Knocked Up

Woe be this day, for the fairy tale romantic love of Sarah Palin's eldest princeling son and his once-preggers bride have filed to dissolve their holiest shotgun union. For reasons unknown, the TMZ post that broke this BREAKING NEWS...

Mitt Romney Is An Idiot For Letting Clint Eastwood Speak, Explains Clint Eastwood

video platformvideo managementvideo solutionsvideo player Hey, everybody cannot be good at everything. Che Guevara, for instance, was very good at being sexy and riding his motorcycle and killing people, but very bad at being Minister of Factories or whatever for...

Chris Christie Now Getting Into Random Bum Fights With Jersey Shore Passersby

Nope, not kidding. The shouty New Jersey Governor is now yelling at any constituents strolling the scenic Jersey Shore who might happen to take issue with his stance on screaming at teachers (i.e., that he is for it). TMZ...

Donald Trump Now Waving His Junk At Hot Transgendered Miss Universe Lady (AUDIO!)

Oh, Donald Trump, WHY did you get out of the presidential race? Whyyyyyyy? First your Miss Universe pageant, that you own, was all nuh uh beautiful transgendered Miss Canada contestant, you did not feeeeel like a natural woman (woman)....

Gal Who Interned For Hillary Clinton’s Office Is Now Doing Pornos

America's political paper of record, TMZ.com, has yet another hot new blog story about how somebody tangentially involved in politics also has naked pictures on the Internet. If you're a fan of low-end Web porn, you will certainly be...