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Time Magazine is here to troll everyone with yet another cover story about Kids These Days and Their Lawns (Getting Off of). We have not read it, because Time Magazine. And yet we have decided to debate this Important Issue anyway. Taking the pro-Millennial position will be Rich Abdill (12). Taking the anti-Millennial position will [...]

Hooray, tomorrow is Kleptocracy Sucks Day! This, of course, is every day, but tomorrow Occupy Wall Street and labor unions are organizing actions all across the country for May Day to call attention to the crushing economic injustice forcing millions of unemployed, underemployed or over-employed “part-time” workers with multiple underpaid jobs to turn on their [...]

Hey National Review person K-Lo, what’s up! Have you had some time yet to regret your even dopier than usual column? Would you like to? Great, let’s get started! “I Have A Dopey Question For Time Magazine,” K-Lo begins, and yes, stopped clock/blind pig, etc. See Time Magazine had its annual let’s-blow-everybody issue, and sexxxy [...]

Oh for fuck’s sake, we cannot deal with this, at this hour. TIME Magazine just sent us this press release, about some “gala” in New York that just ended, and …. No, we can’t. We don’t want to. It is sickening when a bunch of alleged ideological enemies gather to toast each other in some [...]

Hey, did you hear Ronald Reagan’s 100th birthday is next month? Of course you didn’t. You’ve been too busy fasting and praying to Ronald Reagan because OF COURSE HIS BIRTHDAY IS NEXT MONTH. So how would Ronald Reagan like Time magazine to celebrate this occasion of the utmost cosmic importance? “Do you think he would [...]

Nancy Pelosi did an interview with Sunday’s The New York Times Magazine in which she let America know that she was not put on the cover of a different, money-hemorrhaging magazine (Time) when she became House speaker. But John Boehner was on the front of that magazine recently, promoting his new role as the star [...]

But which one? [Politico]

FACT: Elena Kagan went to college, where she majored in Unamerican Studies and wrote a 1,000 page honors thesis in which she described Stalin as a “total studmuffin.” [RedState] Big Barack Obummer: The government is definitely going to electronically track the pH level and blubber content of your child! [The Corner] Oh, and then Barack [...]

MODERN-DAY HEROES  2:25 pm April 1, 2010

by Jim Newell

MEGHAN MCCAIN IS PRESIDENT OF TIME MAGAZINE: We have glanced through this new list of the 200 candidates for TIME magazine’s TIME 100, and here are some folks whom TIME considers to be among the 200 most important people in the world: “Snooki,” Meghan McCain, Joe Lieberman, Eric Cantor, Bristol Palin, Samuel Alito, Andrew Breitbart, [...]

Here’s “the news:” tomorrow morning, Barack Obama will speak at 10:10 to outline his plan for closing Guantanamo Bay, if there still is a plan, while Dick Cheney will speak to the American Enterprise Institute at 10:30 re: his favorite torture moments. In other words, if you live anywhere in the continental United States and [...]

Nice hat, dude! In Time’s profoundly insightful cover package, Barack Obama’s brother-in-law reports that the President-elect is “extremely left-handed.” This is obviously some sort of code. But for what???? Anyway FAIL, Time, for not going with a more counterintuitive pick like “The Ghost of Your Fraudulent Mortgage Broker,” or “Cheryl Tiegs.” With that in mind, [...]


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