John McCain went on Larry King Live last night and said that Barack Obama had been right about everything and he was withdrawing from the presidential race in order to pursue his dream of being a Wal-Mart greeter. Ha ha, we kid! But McCain did say he was maybe OK with a 16-month “time horizon” or whatever they’re calling it these days, if “conditions on the ground” in Iraq permitted. In other words, what Barack Obama said. Oh he is a terrible flip-flopping elitist pig, this John McCain! Why does he hate America? [Political Ticker]

No timetables for leaving Iraq, declares our George W. Bush! The terrorists would dine out on a timetable! This is why we do not have a timetable for leaving Iraq, even though the Iraqi government wants one (although they have elections too and may be PANDERING to bums who will be killed upon withdrawal[!]). Today, however, “The United States and Iraq have agreed to set a ‘general time horizon’ for the ‘further reduction of U.S. combat forces in Iraq.’” Ooh, this is the ticket. It’s sort of like saying “nothing will change at all, and this crap should temporarily appease both of our stupid constituencies,” but with a different set and sequence of words. [NYT]