time
Time Magazine Helpfully Explains Why A Quick Visit To The ER Costs As Much As A Semester At Harvard
Your Wonkette had to go to the hospital about a year ago for a two hour long procedure. We had a good friend come pick us up, and as we left, she indicated a desire to take the brown paper bag of basic first aid supplies that the doctor had left for us to bring [...]
Mitt Romney Can’t Explain What He Learned from Firing People
I like to learn a fun fact every day, and today I learned TWO fun facts! One is that people still actually read Time, and two is that Romneybot 6000 doesn’t have a scripted response to questions about what he learned from Bain or how Bain in any way qualifies him to be the president [...]
Michele Bachmann Honored To Be Noted by TIME Alongside Hitler
Vacant-eyed junior demagogue Michele Bachmann wants to be a famous extremist dingbat just like her rival/idol, Sarah Palin. But how to get better known? The new polls show that 64% of GOP voters have no idea who Michele Bachmann is and only 12% see her “favorably,” so she really needs to amp up the craziness. [...]
One of These Two Images Is John Boehner On the Cover of Time Magazine
But which one? [Politico]
Attainer of Ultimate Enlightenment Alvin Greene Amused By Your Expectation That He Campaign
The Chosen One, Democratic Senate candidate Alvin Greene, still hasn’t left his father’s house in the backroads of South Carolina, but that hasn’t stopped curious journalists and admirers from being drawn to him. And what could be more interesting than Alvin Greene? This man is everything a modern politician is not. But still, after achieving [...]
Ted Nugent Writes Beautiful Ode To ‘Herculean’ Sarah Palin, For TIME
Somewhat famous rock ‘n’ roll wingnut Ted Nugent is a contributor to the hot new TIME 100 list, which we are too scared to check out in full. (Did Meghan McCain make it, or did Didier Drogba “kick her out” of the last spot? That is a soccer joke!) While Nugent, tragically, did not make [...]
MEGHAN MCCAIN IS PRESIDENT OF TIME MAGAZINE: We have glanced through this new list of the 200 candidates for TIME magazine’s TIME 100, and here are some folks whom TIME considers to be among the 200 most important people in the world: “Snooki,” Meghan McCain, Joe Lieberman, Eric Cantor, Bristol Palin, Samuel Alito, Andrew Breitbart, [...]
Mark Halperin Criticizes Other Media Figures And Judges Other Humans
Time magazine chief clownsack Mark Halperin, the reporter who modernized “bullshit” for the post-Cold War era, is cold goin’ nuts in this, the most anticipated edition of HALPERIN’S TAKE in 350 years. He actually produces some trenchant TAKES within his ten TAKES, but we all know that this is what’s really getting him all riled [...]
Halperin: Everyone Not Named ‘Sean Hannity’ Is WRONG About Palin
TIME magazine’s chief political sociopath Mark Halperin, who is right about most things, in politics, is urging readers of his The Page website to memorize Sean Hannity’s interpretation of Sarah Palin’s steamy resignation, oh boy. Sean Hannity says not to trust the media! Since such parameters would ostensibly include Mark Halperin, we agree with Sean [...]
THE WEEK, IN INDEX FORM: Yeah, it was that bad. [Paul Slansky/TIME]
Because TIME Fired Him, Michael Kinsley’s Pretty Disappointed With This ‘New’ Newsweek
Michael Kinsley, the dignified journalist and dinner companion to David Denby, starts his review of the new Newsweek reboot with this: “Having recently been dumped by Time, I naturally had great hopes for this week’s much-anticipated makeover of Newsweek.” And 2,000 annoying words later — including a long bit about masturbating to a large photograph [...]
Your Anti-Climactic And Partial Wonkette WHCD 2k9 Report, With Fotos!
Just to the left of this photo is a 9-foot 350-pound brainsmasher who happens to be Rahm Emanuel’s Secret Service guy (he usually carries Rahm around on piggyback, with Rahm brandishing a whip, yelling, “Faster, seeee?”) As the flash goes off, Rahm is saying to this Colossus, basically, “Why is the fucking Wonkette kid taking [...]
Ted Kennedy Hates Caroline Kennedy For Blaming Dropout On His Cancer
Jesus Christ, Caroline Kennedy: next time you think about running for any office (/harassing blind people for Senate jobs), just ignore it and throw a fundraiser for poor illiterate kids or whatever instead? Her surprise dropout yesterday, once she realized that she was out of her element and/or NOT THE PICK, has taken yet another [...]
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