Tag: tim tebow

Nothing to see here, g'wan, get him outta here. Get him out!

New York Attorney General Somehow Under Impression Trump Foundation Might Be Kind Of Fishy

New York A.G. Eric Schneiderman is investigating the Trump Foundation just because it may have engaged in some illegal donations. How is that even fair?
Good thing he's trustworthy,or we might suspect he's not always truthful.

Donald Trump’s Foundation Remarkably Bad At Charity, Ain’t That A Kick In The Pants?

Donald Trump caught lying again about charitable donations? The deuce you say!

Beautiful New Republican Convention Just Falling Apart At The Seams

Tim Tebow and Ivanka's rabbi will not be there, hopefully Andy Wisp is still coming.
If you immediately knew it was a Checker Marathon airport limo you may be a nerd

Who’ll Be Piling Out Of The Clown Car At The Republican Convention? Not Sarah Palin, Somehow!

Let's run down the list of speakers at the 2016 Republican National Convention, before they can run US down.

GOP Convention Guests Get To Potty Next To ALL The Trans Folk In Cleveland, Yippee!

But what about THEIR WIVES AND DAUGHTERS???

Will Sportsball Hero Tim Tebow Someday Be First Virgin Dork President Of America?

Tim Tebow is known for two things, mainly. He loves Jesus so hard, in the manliest way possible, and he refuses to put his dick inside the endzones of either ladies or gentlemen. Like, he is so great at virginity...
San Bernardino Police Chief Jarrod Burguan, i.e. the man with the information.

San Bernardino Was Terrorism And The Media Is A Mess. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Good Saturday morning, Wonkers! What a week, huh? We come back from Thanksgiving, only to be greeted by not one, but TWO grand scale mass shootings. Both religiously-motivated, it seems. Only one we're officially calling "terrorism," and we're calling...
No sex, no football career boo hoo hoo.

Tim Tebow Will Not Do Home Runs To Sexy Girlfriend Ladies

Tim Tebow is so good at football that nobody will let him play, probably because they're intimidated. (Haha, just kidding, they won't let him play because he is bad at footballing.) If you'll remember, he's sort of a hero...
HELP, JESUS!

Wingnuts Very Upset That Gay Jihadists Just Did 9/11 To America

When news broke that the Supreme Court had forcibly crammed gay marriage down the throatholes of every God-fearing American, our first instinct (AFTER CRYING) was go check Bryan Fischer's Twitter-Twatter page. And he had said nothing! "WAKE UP, BRYAN...

Islamazoid Sportsball Star Penalized For Praising Wrong Jesus

America is a great country where you can practice any religion you want as long as it's the Jesus kind. It's too bad Kansas City Chiefs safety Husain Abdullah didn't read the fine print in the First Amendment. During a...

Nazis, Google, And Jesus Walk Into A Bar

There are literally tens of reasons for you to clicky clicky these Happy Nice Time links this afternoon, all of which have to do with making sure people give us monies, so get going, please. Why not start with Tim...

Tim Tebow Will Help You Be The Manliest Jesus Lover Ever Just Like Tim Tebow

How'd you guys spend Easter? Dinner with the family? Avoiding dinner with the family? Being a heathen or a Jew? No matter, because now you're sad that you did not celebrate Easter chopping wood, like Jesus did (carpenters chopped...

NFL Prospect Michael Sam Comes Out, Brave Anonymous NFL Executives Clutch Pearls

If you were anywhere near a news source last night, you learned that University of Missouri defensive lineman and SEC co-defensive player of the year Michael Sam came out as gay. There was no teasing of the story...

Breaking! Jesus People Who Hate Hollywood Are Definitely Going To Boycott Hollywood

Oh man, now you have done it, Hollywood. All those years of unfettered liberal sex and drugs and violence! Religious people mumbled unhappily about that, but they never found the chink in your armor. Now you've made your fatal...

Maybe Tim Tebow Is Kind Of A Dick? Update: Maybe Not?

I'm predicting Obama will take an early lead tomorrow... Until all the Republicans get off work. #RomneyRyan2012— Tim Tebow (@TheTimmyTebow) November 5, 2012 Hahaha, Democrats -- many of whom are minorities and/or working class, but others of whom are like,...

Vote Bachmann Since She’s Like That Annoying NFL Player Everyone Hates

Here's an interesting sales pitch from some super PAC supporting Michele Bachmann which we will now (pretty closely) paraphrase for you: "Professional football player Tim Tebow is not very smart, he has a problem with accuracy, and his holier-than-thou...