tim pawlenty

Mitt Romney, who just can’t take no for an answer and may need to be told no yet again, has apparently grown tired of pretending to be “severely conservative.” It didn’t work for him so well in 2012, when he ran on his platform of “Ew, the poors!” so it seems he’s plagiarizing a page […]

So here is a clip of Robert Reich articulately laying out the case for why the minimum wage needs to be raised, and CNN’s S.E. Cupp not hearing anything but “victimizing job creators for class war.” It’s worth watching, if only for information you can use in your own conversations with wingnuts, and as an […]

When Barack Hussein NObAama ran for president in 2008 with no foreign policy experience (unless you count ACORN as its own brave nation state), our good, kind and decent brethren on the right thought this might be a bad idea. How would this 48-year-old baby ever defeat bin Laden, or Khadafi, or the Soviet Union? […]

The Mitt Romney for President general election campaign, which is finally reaching the hypothetical comedy potential of an entity called the “Mitt Romney for President general election campaign,” refuses to back down on its calls for an apology from its rival campaign. “Romney defends calls for an apology over Bain attacks,” an actual headline reads […]

Following Monday’s only news story, a 22-year-old Australian woman surviving a bungee cord failing after she jumped into South Africa’s Zambezi River, Tim Pawlenty emerged from the floppy disk drive of our minds to compare his failed presidential bid to jumper Erin Langworthy’s lucky break.

Anonymous human entity “Tim Pawlenty” has not had very much luck getting a nation of 300 million people to recognize his existence and much less his stuttering, abortive campaign for American President, so he told reporters he will try his hand somewhere a little easier: “I wish I were still in the race, but now […]

Perennial ratings black hole CNN is never one to miss out on “something that happened a few days ago,” so they will pull yet another GOP debate out of Wolf Blitzer’s anus, tonight, in Florida! Reliable source The Internet says that this debate will be a kind of “last chance” public stage for the indistinguishable […]

Bland cheese curd/make-believe Republican candidate Tim Pawlenty ended his candidacy today in a desperate bid to convince voters he had been running for the GOP nomination. As his announcement came on a Sunday morning when news editors were at their orgy mansions in the Hamptons and regular GOP voters were sleeping off their oxycontin in […]

Is everyone clutching a bottle of Advil in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other? Does it matter which hand is holding which? NO! Tonight we will watch all 83 GOP presidential candidates stand together on a stage in Ames, Iowa and real-life Twitter incomplete sentences with all the fury of James […]

Tim “Who Cares?” Pawlenty is in trouble now, because his hopeless campaign couldn’t even make a lousy commercial the right way. This campaign ad he made, “The American Comeback,” is funny because first of all, a “comeback” is the opposite of what Tim Pawlenty has achieved. Secondly, Tim Pawlenty’s attempt to ruin everyone’s memory of […]

Here is presidential candidate Tim Pawlenty so excited to talk to some young people about his huge Lady Gaga crush that he interrupts his lady interviewers’ questions to ask them what their favorite Lady Gaga songs are (starts at 1:48). We’re havin fun now, aren’t we, girls? Tim will also review Lady Gaga’s HBO special for […]

It is WORLD WAR TEN in Minnesota. Following the government shutdown last Friday, there have been no public workers to protect the state parks from roving Visigoth hordes or whatever Marcus Bachmann keeps talking about, so the barbarian gangs went full ape shit on Minnesota’s natural spaces all weekend long. A “burglary and vandalism spree” […]

A new Gallup poll shows sad person Barack Obama down by 5 points in a generic matchup with “a Republican” as his opponent, which if there were any Republicans running for president, this would be a problem for Obama. Mitt Romney and everyone else are still losing to Obama in the polls. The American people […]

GOP presidential candidate and gay marriage opponent Tim something-or-other was unwisely lurking around signing books in known homosexual watering hole San Francisco when he was, as the kids say, “glitter-bombed.” Code Pink activists dumped an envelope of pink glitter on Pawlenty and yelled at him. Previously, helmet-haired balloon-head human Newt Gingrich had the special privilege […]

Here is your “GOP debate blingee” which, you know, hang in there. Your furriner editor is new at the blingee thing. SO HERE WE GO. Tonight’s debate is in New Hampshire, where Michele Bachmann last changed American history. Why was Sarah Palin trying to copy her so hard? Where is Sarah Palin, to wear the […]